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Question #1297460950Friday, 11-Feb-2011
Category: ESFp ISTp Attraction Intertype Relations Relationship
I think my male boss is an ISTP. I am fairly confident that I am an ESFP (female). How well or poorly do we work together over the long term? Also, I think he flirts with me, but am not sure. How would I know? When I first started working for him, I also got a new iPhone. I accidentally sent him a text message that was intended for my friend. The exchange went something like this: ME: kisses to you, you sexy thing:). Sorry I missed u for the gym tonight. Drinks Friday ? HIM: Kisses right back.... You might want to resend that ME: Oops! Was meant for my girlfriend mel. But u are bad... The smart sexy boss with the gorgeous blue eyes can not be sending kisses right back. Be good;) HIM: no reply at all He never mentioned it. Earlier to that, I had done an admin task/mini project and emailed to let him know it was complete, and his response was, "OMG. I think I just fell in love with you." Not good job, or thank you. He could have just been joking around, b/c he has been missing good admin in his office since it opened 3 years ago, but why not just " Great! Thanks!" or "Awesome. Thanks." or even " I love it! Thank you!" Why specifically, I think "I just fell in love with you" Flirty, no? We were also emailing alot outside work hours, mostly about work projects but personal stuff interspersed. A co-worker commented on how we were like an old married couple already and had only been working together 1 month. His assistant was jealous of me and lashing out saying hings like he's nice to everyone when they first start, he'll barely speak to you after your first week...but he did, for 4 months, speak with me all the time, but not sure if I forced it on him, or he wanted to be a part of it. And she is right, he speaks to no one else like this or this much. But he also has a low opinion of lots of people, but values my business minded work and admin support. At the Christmas party he offered to drive me back to my car in the next town so I could have another drink, but I declined and drove myself b/c I am married and so is he, but also, MOSTLY because I don't really know if he is really flirting because he is otherwise extremely internal, very aloof, only speaks to others when seeking info, never makes idle chat, shares his own views etc, but with me, he sometimes does. I have always been a top employee, so maybe he is just happy to have me on his team, which I know he is, but I wonder if there is more to it than that. Recently though, in the last 1-2 weeks, he has returned from vacation with his wife and kids, and email has dwindled to about nothing. While on vacation though, he emailed me to see if I was ok ( I had bronchitis) and then a few days later on a work issue, but again, told me "love you, so glad I have you." Help me figure this out! I am extremely attracted to him, and morals aside, I just want to know if you think he is attracted to me. Then I can work on putting it all to rest. -- Anonymous
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 "OMG I just fell in love with you" doesn't sound like ISTp, more like ENF. -- Anonymous
A2 If he's istp, i wouldn't bet on him being a flirt. If you want to stay away, he probably won't get much more friendly. If you really want to advance the relationship, you will have to be the one who escalates to more obvious flirting. From there you can see what his reaction is like. istp generally won't be very overt if he's not confident beyond a doubt. and like you mentioned, this is a bit of a sketchy relationship. -- sli istp
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