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Question #1282558309Monday, 23-Aug-2010
Category: INTj Attraction Dating Relationship Love
I'm 16 years old and i've never really been attracted to anyone. I don't really want, or feel that i'm ready, to have an intimate relationship with another human being... Quite frankly the whole idea scares me for lack of a better word...I hate HUGS....I really have no idea why. I just can't stand people touching me any more than is necessary...I don't even like looking at people touching each other... ....just wondering if i'm weird even for an INTJ.... -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Pretty grown up ENTp here, grown up as in the physical kind of sense. I share, and have more or less shared quite some of your... let's say conservative and restrained applications of affection. When I was a kid, I wasnt that happy to be hugged, it did'nt oppose me as such, but I found it kind of unnecessary with an obtrusive sting to it sometimes. Relationships as a consequence have never had a good bearing on my attention, have never missed them either, and now I do not see any point with them anylonger, as certain physical expiration dates have passed by in the years of negligence of affairs. And when kids are no longer a realistic issue, ( God only knows the amount of rationalisations I had for not getting any when I could), relationships becomes completely incomplete, and the bonding tools such as affectionate communication even more uninteresting and nonsense. You are not alone allright, healthy or unhealthy as it may be, I don't care. Some of us are'nt cut to be in relations, and I happen to be one of them. I'll keep on treading those paths with comfort and ease. And when I think of it, always had. -- ENT(Pnp)
A2 Maybe you should see it as a challenge to yourself, you hate hugs? start hugging (important) people (friends, parents...maybe your pet?) when you say hi to them, and have fun with it... -- Anonymous
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A3 INTj's certainly aren't sensual people, and they aren't the type to dispense hugs all willy-nilly like, say, ESFp's. I think the only way I can tolerate hugs (or anything beyond hugging) is when I'm with someone I'm especially close to. It's a short list, and I'd never bother with someone I wasn't completely comfortable with, but I wouldn't write off the idea completely. It may be that INTj's are just so selective about people they show any affection towards, they come off frigid. -- Random INTj
A4 you just sound plain weird - maybe you are too young to realize these very things are essential to your well-being and survival; perhaps your false ego dominates over you true human needs. -- Anonymous
A5 hmm this actually sounds a lot like my ISTj sister, she would purposefully make our mom mad at her so that she would stop trying to hug her or show any sort of sentiment. probably went for years without getting hugs or saying "i love you". we were in the car going somewhere and then my sister randomly said "love you mom" and my mom was freaking out "....what??? what did you say??? really??" "ugh, no i was reading that license plate in front of us" LUVUMOM mom: "you couldn't just let me have my moment.." -- Anonymous
A6 I used to be like you but I grew out of it. Not saying that will happen to you, but it might. If you really want it to change, I think it probably will. Maybe, I dunno.. -- Simon the INFp
A7 i dont know any intjs that are incredibly affectionate, but you seem to be to a greater degree. you may be asexual. -- Anonymous
A8 I was a lot like that in high school, too. Sometimes a couple of the girls on my cross country team would hug me, which made me uncomfortable, especially since I'm a guy. I think I've outgrown it a little now, but I still get nervous when people hug me. I agree with A2. Going out of your way to hug others close to you is a little hard to do at first, but it definitely helps in the long run. Hope I helped. -- Dragifon (INTj)
A9 A lot of people with Aspergers are INTJs and therefore don't like to be touched. -- ESTJ Female.
A10 I am an INTj, and I was the same way in high school. I definitely agree with A2 and A8. Go out of your way to hug people, and you'll eventually get used to it to a degree. I still feel uncomfortable when people hug me, and my attractions to people are pretty rare. -- INTj female
A11 A4 You're the one who sounds plain weird, "...these very things are essential to your well-being and survival..." Come on Drama Queen, since when has anyone died from a lack of Hugs??? LOL Affection is nice, but not something you can't go without. Besides, there are other ways of showing affection that don't require hugs or any other form of physical contact. If you NEED hugs to survive I highly suggest checking yourself into a mental institution. -- MBTI and Socionics INTJ
A12 A3: we ESFp's don't dispense hugs willy-nilly like. Our feeling is introverted, so we don't show it so easily. Also, it's enough for us to see the person to feel there's a physical contact. Se works that way. It's more ESFj's who hug people, but not that often either. It's mostly ENF's who do that because of their weak S - they need physical contact with people to feel the affection flow. Plus, it's a cultural thing - there are cultures where you're supposed to hug your friends. -- ESFp
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