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Question #1282557950Monday, 23-Aug-2010
Category: ISTp ENFj Intertype Relations
How can an ENFJ best get along with an ISTP senior coworker and support rather than offend them? The ENFJ appreciates and respects the ISTP, yet it seems the ISTP can't stand the ENFJ despite all external appearances of congeniality. Any insights into this particular dynamic of conflicting relations? -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Well, being an ISTp female, I will give you the simplest advice: Respect the ISTp's space, Try not being overly emotional and try to maintain politeness without the necessary need to emotionally connect. I personally like ENFj's from a distance, but I limit my time with them because the emotionality can be exhausting. You must keep in mind that you are dealing with a more businesslike ISTp, and they can be more stoic and less gregarious than some of the other ISTp's you'll encounter. And when I say gregarious, I don't mean ENFj gregarious, I mean 'reasonably tolerant of others' gregarious . Just try not putting too much pressure on the ISTp and they may eventually tolerate you too. Also, try not reading your ISTp coworker's emotions. We don't like being read which is why people usually don't 'get' us. -- Anonymous
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A2 I find that my ENFj coworker has more trouble with me (ISTp) than I do with her. I just come to work, focus on the job and go fast, not taking much time to relate to my coworkers. ISTps are very tolerent of others, do like economy and efficency. My ENFj finds me to be stand-offish, and feels I don't repect her because, from her perspective, I tread on her work space. I'm just trying to pitch in and get the job done, and I'm not much for structures that might inhibit progress. So, try to be efficient in your work, and forgiving of your ISTp. Know that he probably likes you just fine, but may not show it very often. Feel free to take the lead in keeping communications open, just go slow. -- Anonymous
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