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Question #1278272556Sunday, 4-Jul-2010
Category: Typing Intertype Relations Appearance Personality j/p
I need some help typing this guy I met through association. I find him really fascinating, but I don't feel comfortable getting too close to him. The problem is he seems really standoffish. He's like this with everyone. He just stands there real straight (not overly rigid, he looks a little relaxed) and he'll turn his head to look at you expressionlessly, then turn away and never introduce himself or really ever acknowledges you. A lot of people I know said he knew them for up to a year or two, but never said a word to them. They thought he was awful! But when they finally got close(ish) to him, he was nice and funny. The guy does have friends though. They are all pretty much the same: Part of the bike hipster/bar scenster crowd, shoot whiskey, use profanity, appreciate art (he works as a bartender/cook but has an art degree), and yet somehow they are all still well-educated(This is also the ty[pe of girl he likes to date). Almost every single one of them has dark hair, bangs and black retro eyeglasses (again, typical hipster look, and, also the physical resemblance of most of the girls he likes to date). He likes sports a lot and joined the Bike Polo League and typically plays once a week as well as travels around the country playing other teams. Another thing I noticed about him is that he needs to always be the one who initiates contact with you. He once greeted me with a hug, but looked at me blankly when I did it back to him the following week(he actually seems more comfortable when people greet him with a handshake and HATES hugs greetings, unless he greets you first that way). He also does this thing where he watches me (not sure if he does this to everyone), then looks away when I catch him and walks off. Sometimes he'll behave really sweet and charming, and then will abruptly walk off. He pretty much irritates me badly when he does both these things!! I'm not sure which intertype relation this is considered. His friendships with my friends are mostly based on superficial things. For instance, one of my friends said he now treats her as a friendly acqaintance after she gave him a hat that she made. And a casual acquintance had told me that he was always so standoffish and she didn't like him very much, but changed her mind after they went out a few times. She broke it off quickly when he told her 'Okay, you're my Girlfriend now', even though she was not serious about him and hadn't been on a recent date with him. Mostly he has hookups. His physical appearance is very masculine. He is average height (5'10), dark hair with a goatee, has a strong athletic medium frame, looks expressionless but not hard, and looks somewhat relaxed (especially when he laughs). He almost always has a Cycling cap on and tends to wear casual clothing (especially in greens and blues and black), but when he dresses up, he likes vests and, yes, still wears a hat! Any insights into his type would be really helpful! Btw, I seem to usually test as an IXFp. -- Ixfp
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 Might very well be my type or my Mirror, an ISFj. A lot of us are educated people with sense of arts who nevertheless like to work a simple, practical job. We often have our own dressing style and like educated, rational people. And that hugging issue sounds exactly like me! Our friendships are usually superficial unless the other person makes it deeper, we have just a couple of close friendships. (Gamma quadras in general need least close friendships.) The hand-made cap also makes sense, we value gifts a lot. That dating thing too, it often happens to us we think we are dating someone when actually we aren't. Also your overall impression of the guy seems like an ESFp or ISFj. People often rack their brains as to what we are like, while we actually don't care much and observe other people instead. It often happens that we understand everybody and nobody understands us, but unlike NFs, we don't care. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A2 That sounds very interesting! Thanks! I thought he seemed a bit 'Gamma' Quadra. But how do I tell if someone is SJ or SP and an I or a E? -- IXFP
A3 I'm afraid I don't have any general advice, only one observation regarding Eps. You tell them easily because either their head or their legs make the impression as if they want to be somewhere before the rest of the body. They also look... hard to describe, maybe "fluid" would be the right word, they're the least static of all types. They have fast reactions when it comes to activities (not talking, that's more j field) and often when someone suggests doing something they either start arguing immediately that it isn't necessary or take off to start the suggested activity without further ado. But what you write about this guy seems more like he's an ISFj to me, especially because of his expressionless face. ESFps always have some expression, except for rare situations when they feel uncomfortable and want to be "invisible". Also the fact that he is uptight but relaxes when he laughs sounds a lot like my ISFj brother. (By the way, I don't know why, but the ISFj description here seems to me to describe people who are Duals with ENTps, that is, ISFps, and the ISFp description looks a lot like someone who is in the same quadra like me, for example, my ISFj father and brother.) -- Ezis (ESFp)
A4 Actually, he sounds more like a ISFj to me. -- IXFp
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