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Question #1268407714Friday, 12-Mar-2010
Category: Theory
Here is a tantalizing question: is there really a equilibrium amongst types? Even as a T type, when I see an F type being themselves like giving a genuine smile, its a sight to behold and I can appreciate that as much as anyone but the downside is when F types start thinking I'm totally blown away how muddled and confused they sound, is that when T types are meant to step in and fill the gap? -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I'm glad you asked this question, I have been thinking about this many times, just from the F point of view. As to the situation when "F types start thinking I'm totally blown away how muddled and confused they sound" - well, that's not something only Fs do, it depends more on the level of your self-confidence. And the areas of your self-confidence. Fs will obviously think they sound confused in a T conversation, Ts vice versa. Ps will get self-conscious in a J conversation; and vice versa, et cetera. Examples: I have an INTp friend who is very self-confident when she's talking about her work but starts thinking what you describe when the topic starts getting personal. And you should have seen an INTp actor when asked in front of many people "when did you realize you're handsome?" Sooo ESFp kind of question, I wouldn't even notice it and simply say "I think I just look normal". But he, though, being an actor, he's used to being exposed to people, still he got all red, started muttering something and eventually managed to say only "can you see how red I am?" And it's even more complicated: even I sometimes get self-conscious in F conversations, that's when people start talking very openly about their hatreds or ask me about my deep feelings. When I'm answering these questions I feel exactly like you describe. That's because this type of conversation is Fe and I'm an Fi. - Many F types, especially Fp women, will recognize instantly that someone is feeling confused or unaccepted by their interlocutor, and will "step in and fill the gap" automatically, because it's in their nature. But T types are mostly not so good at this - obviously, being T types, they need to get used to these situations and think their way through to some kind of theory or practical solution, as your question proves. My answer is, some Fs expect you to fill the gap, some don't. I myself am not always sure. And my advice is, think of the situation. If it's someone you want to grow personally, like your child, and the situation isn't exactly a meeting of diplomats where silence is a faux pas, let the person "have a swim in it" and find a way out themselves. And if it's in a situation where you don't want to sound impolite or you know the other person has low self-respect and needs support before they gain more self-confidence, step in and fill the gap. This is the area where Ts can learn to be really useful, because for us EFs and Fps it's hard not to help everyone automatically, even when they need to be left alone. - Your stepping in will mean the person will either like you, or start to think "he thinks I'm so helpless?!" Your silence will mean the person will either like you for letting them prove themselves, or get angry because "he's being so tactless". You never know Depends on the person's maturity. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A2 Ahh, I see the temptation you've fallen into, as I once fell for it too: thinking that F types are usually sincere when they are "themselves." Most F's, I have come to learn, are more emotionally "creative" (manipulative) than actually "sincere." I believe that it is actually the T's who tend to be more forthright when they do express their emotions. Also, some T types might sound muddled when speaking on logic/facts. Depends on what function's introverted, etc. In these cases, everything might be perfectly clear in their minds yet they may meander a bit whilst conveying their message while attempting to recall info and draw out a conceptual map for the listener. There is a difference between knowing something and being able to communicate that inner vision well, and this is also dependent on many other factors: the individual, communicative skills developed, emotional context, confidence level, their life experiences ... and so on and so forth. Some T's may introvertedly "mull" a bit more. It is my current opinion that this is known in socionics as Ti. Ultimately, the difference here between the T and the F is that certain T's may struggle to express their insight and information, whereas F's easily and unashamedly admit a total blank, or else quickly express an obviously shallow grasp of the subject at hand. -- INTj
A3 thanks A1 - my hats off to you. A2: temptation? sincerity is no different from manipulation? okay your being cynical and subversive. check yourself. You sound like you've had an unpleasant personal experience but when I say equilibrium, I mean that in terms of a shared experience which I think socionics is meant to be. When I say being yourself, that means you trust yourself. Perhaps manipulation is the downside of F types and sincerity (and helpfulness as A1 suggests) is the upside. Global domination is the downside of T types and justice is the upside. Even if an F type is behaving badly, a T type can provide fuel to the fire. Whoever said duality is concerned with achieveing positive goals. Perhaps a T type has the master plan but lacks an escape plan which is where a F type steps in. -- Anonymous
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A4 A3: Completely agree. Just the last sentence IMO regards only INTps, INTjs, ENTjs and their SF duals. NiTes can have a plan because they're good at foretelling future development of events and SeFis help in specific situations when fast reaction is needed. INTjs might have a plan but forget how much hard work it needs which is where ESFjs help. I don't know about STs having "master plans", though ISTjs might be an exception, and ENFjs' role would then be to help them in case they got too carried away by the flow of events. Also, global domination regards ENTs most and ISTs the least. Thank you for the "hats off" a lot! Actually, I've always dreamt of getting hats off for an analysis, but had never succeeded so far. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A5 Btw Question poster, are you an ENTj? Your topic sounds like something an ENTj could think about in connection with IFps. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A6 actually I'm an INTJ... -- Anonymous
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