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Question #1263032876Saturday, 9-Jan-2010
Category: INTj Relationship
Is it possible to win back a (male) intj? I have a feeling many will respond that it's not, but, there must be cases where it can work? -- Anonymous
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A1 better make sure you rememdy the way you lost the intj before you win them back. -- Anonymous
A2 A1 is very true, and I'll extrapolate on A1's astuteness with as little digression as possible: When you say "win back" I immediately assume you mean you lost your mate for whatever reason that I didn't quite get in your very vague question. Reasons are everything to us... however, please understand that INTJs will typically leave an emotional relationship for one of two reasons (both with about ten or more sub-reasons but all INTJs already know the variants at heart and further elaboration will only serve to make this already lengthy explanation ineffective.): 1.) Ethos/Pathos overridden by Logos, basically, he left because he has several "in-his-head" reasons to leave, and lets just say that the heart isn't as well-represented as it should be when a problem (work, hypothetical, whatever) arises. This is easily solved, all you have to do is pursue him and pull his head from the clouds and kiss him, he'll start working properly again like any good robot ought. 2.) You done messed up, by which I mean you either manipulated him/ made a fool of him (congratulations on what I'm sure wasn't easy), or you betrayed him... You can do a lot of things to an INTJ and they will find a effective way around it, but if a INTJ goes out on that very high-up and thin branch we call "emotional trust", and you happen to break it, you broke it almost irreparably. It's possible to attempt to wait out whatever heartbreak you caused him, but INTJs will "strike the balance" before ever really trying to progress with the relationship again*. *If the relationship appears to be progressing, but the heartbreak wasn't reciprocated (against you), odds are he is just guiding you along until his plan of reciprocation is implemented completely... So just ask yourself if you can handle that, and if so, go for it -- A.R.
A3 show him what he really means to you. If you hurt by making him hurt then I'd say things are already even. If you show no remorse then your provoking revenge but I'm not saying he'll be so easily provoked nor want to be. Come clean. -- Anonymous
A4 I think an INTj will follow the old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." -- Anonymous
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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