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Question #1262352767Friday, 1-Jan-2010
Category: Relationship Advice ISFj INTj Dating
I am a INTJ dating an ISFJ. I was surprised to see that we are superego's. We get along very well with common interest in activity and conversation. We are very supportive of each other and desire the exact same things in a relationship now and in the future. However, my concern is that compatibility according to superego doesn't look to favarable. It appears to be more like a 50/50 crap shoot. My question, what are the chances are they really that grim? -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 MIS-TYPING. You guys are probably duals. -- Anonymous
A2 I'm an INTj who has been in two long-term relationships with INFj, and has seen several other of these relationships dissolve. The partners can have very similar goals and the sex can be great, but they do best together when in a long-distance relationship. With more time together, the ISFj will start to feel hurt and mistrust; and the INTj will feel impotent and treading on egg shells - picture a pet that continually cowers and snarls at you for no good reason other than you are you. INTj are far too insensitive to others while ISFj are far too sensitive with regard to themselves; and both types are really separate islands, too into themselves to really connect where it counts. They need different types that can bridge paticular islands. -- Burnt Twice
A3 Your chances aren't grim. Essentially all socionic-described relationships that aren't dual relations sound grim. I'm sure you've found that many close relationships you have in your life are not those of duality or activity. Be glad for the similarities and differences between you that socionics has made you realize, but don't use socionics as a crystal ball to predict the outcome of your relationship. -- ISFj Courtney
A4 Thanks to everyone that responded to my question. Interestingly enough, I found another website that talks about us using or tertiary and inferior functions more as we age. http://www.personalitypage.com/development.html -- Anonymous
A5 I was with an ISFJ and super-ego relations were extremely evident in retrospect.... I did not enjoy it one bit! -- Intj Anonymous
A6 ISFJ female and INTJ male (Me) is like oil and vinegar. It will never mix and stay mixed. I know I have been trying for over 20 years. -- Anonymous
A7 ISFJ female and INTJ maleis like oil and vineger. It will never mix and stay mixed. I know I have been trying for over 20 years. -- Anonymous
A8 One of my good friends is my Superego partner. I love her for her differences. She's fascinating and refreshing. Sure, we don't agree on lots, but Socionics is not the end-all-be-all in predicting compatibility. Another one of my very close friends is ISFj and has been in a relationship with an INTj for several years. They seem to be very happy. However, I will say that they have common interests and activities and they are very mature, intelligent individuals. I think it's important for Superego partners to have some common interests, else connecting can be difficult. It's all about your outlook: do you appreciate each other for what you bring or do you focus on the flaws and what is missing? -- Anonymous
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A9 After 3.5 yr long distance relationship with isfj man- intj gal (me), I'll have to agree with A2.. It was great and long lasting, I consider myself a softer intj in that, I don't offend a lot of people and when I am insensitive it's cos I feel attacked or it was just unintentional. Anyway isfj started complaining about intj being rude, and attacking, picking intj apart. After 6 months of isfj calling intj rude, stonewalling until intj apologizes and explains it was a misunderstanding... intj finally calls it quits. isfj is super angry, calls intj abusive and accuses intj of not trying hard enough to stop being arrogant. But intj say, ummmm...??? isfj has too many crazy long tantrums, making intj ill and unable to focus on work, she desperately needs a break (up). PS still heartbroken it didn't work out, but grateful to be alive. -- Anonymous
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