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Question #1262098436Tuesday, 29-Dec-2009
Category: Intertype Relations ISFj ISFp Advice
Hi. I am a ISFJ female dating a ISFP male. I'm really just looking for anyone with some insight/advice/experience with quasi-idenical relationships- especially feeling types...but thinking types are welcome too. isfp and isfj advice would be great..I would like to know the struggles/rewards of these relations. annny replies would be much helpful. thanks! -- curious isfj
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I don't have any romantic experience, but I'm an ISFj and my little brother's an ISFp. And honestly, we're the best of friends. I've found that quai-identical relationships generally work well, because you similar enough to understand each other, but just different enough for it not to be boring. It may become a bit dull though, because you are so similar. And as with me and my brother, you may become irritated that he is so laid back and lazy about everything, and he may find your need to be regimented and disciplined and even judgmental annoying. Best of luck though! -- Courtney the ISFj
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A2 I am the one who wrote this question, and I found that relations between us did not work out, and we broke up, at first i did not see the way our relationships worked in the way the intertype relations explained it, but we broke up about a week ago and it pretty much ende up the way the description explained it. -- ISFJ sensory subtype
A3 lol, I think I remember an ISFP speaking about relation with ISFJ! -- Anonymous
A4 I'm an ENFJ-Fe(EIE-Fe in strictly Socionics terms) just getting out of a marriage with an ENFP. The quasi-identical description on this site was pretty spot on for us, but don't take that as an excuse to end a relationship, or to treat it differently (unless of course it's to become more understanding of each other's needs and act accordingly). The fact that you're both thinkers makes it a bit easier to manage than my quasi was. For us, there was instant chemistry, and a feeling like we were the same, until the arguments started. She would argue with me about the smallest, silliest things it would seem... We were incredible together in a social setting, and we occasionally did work well as a team. For some reason though, whenever one of us would take charge of a situation, the other would be constantly providing contrary input, to the point of being seemingly obnoxious. Her input seemed overly negative and critical, and my input was seen by her as overly complex, as if I was trying to confuse her. Our interactions over our 5 years of marriage required a lot of energy for tasks that should just flow smoothly after the initial getting to know you phase of a marriage. That being said, I don't believe that anyone can be completely summed up in a single paragraph, or even the extended personality descriptions offered by many sites. There are many other factors to keep in mind, such as maturity level, past experiences (and the dealbreakers they reveal to you), parental influence (nature vs nurture), spirituality, etc. I feel like spirituality is the biggest factor here in determining the success of any relationship. I'm not talking about going to church, or being religious. I'm talking about one's ability to remove themself from the his/her thought patterns and become self-aware. A self-aware person will be able to grow from any situation. To make this succinct, don't go by personality intertype relation descriptions alone- that's just a general peek into the possible pros/cons. Instead, I would encourage both of you to make a list of your own dealbreakers, your own pros and cons of your relationship, and determine how you feel about the direction it's heading. There is always time for course correction, but only when there are two willing participants. It can't be done alone. That is the only situation that I would say needs to be avoided and broken off- one sided conscientiousness. Aside from that, any two people can make it work. It just takes time and energy, with some intertype relationships requiring a bit more/less of each. I hope this helps. -- StevenENFJ
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