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Question #1258744868Friday, 20-Nov-2009
Category: Advice INFp ESTp
Question for INFps and ESTps: Could you please give me some reflection on INFp behaviour? - I know this INFp guy whom I had a great relationship with for like 3 weeks. We were very close and had a crush on each other, though we behaved like mere friends. But then all of a sudden he stopped communicating with me, and I came to realize that he thinks in a different way than me, so I "fell out of love" with him, but still treated him very friendly. Since then, when we meet, he greets me cheerfully, doesn't say anything more and goes away immediately. Or communicates with me indirectly via other people. And sometimes acts really unpleasant and dominant ("Eat this!") and refuses to cooperate (for example, I was washing up and he came over and started washing a cup in the same sink and said, I will do the dishes. I asked him if he could please rather be putting the cups I wash in their places, since I don't know where they belong and he does, and he didn't say anything and went away). I can understand the unwillingness to communicate, as he's a very private person and he said once he would often get tired even of his friends. But the moments when he becomes a kind of a tense ISTj are really confusing to me - seem like he's trying to play a kind of mind war that I really don't get. Especially because I have never had such huge problems communicating and cooperating with INFps, and because this guy has another ESFp friend whom he communicates with normally. I would like to talk about this with him openly and to get along with him, because we will be living in the same house for another 18 months. But the thing is, I don't know how and I don't want to hurt him. -- Ezis (ESFp)
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Tell him politely that you'd like to talk. If he doesn't open up, you've done your part - let him play his mind war with himself. -- INFp guy
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A2 It's not necessarily a mind war, he might be slightly mental like me, lol. It doesn't have to have anything to do with you... However, if I don't trust someone and don't want them to know much about me I will confuse them on purpose, lol. If I had to guess, though, I'd say it was nothing to do with you, or at least the person has nothing against you. I have a habit of being dominant and agressive sometimes, but it's not in my control at all. -- Simon the INFp
A3 Thanks for your input, that's quite good news for me. "It's not necessarily a mind war, he might be slightly mental like me" I like that -- Ezis
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