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Question #1257209368Tuesday, 3-Nov-2009
Category: INTj INTp Attraction Duality
INTs, can I ask you something? If you, while studying abroad, talked to an ESF girl and then became crazy about her and did everything you could think of to gain her attention and she was still ignoring you, but wrote you 4 years later that she remembers you and wants to exchange letters with you, how would you react? - As you probably already have understood, this happened to me and I am now searching for the guy wanting to write him, but the problem is he is from a neighbouring country, he lives some 300 kilometres far. Would you consider it worth your time to exchange letters with someone whom it is not so easy to meet in person regularly? -- Ezis (ESFp)
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I'd give it a try if I were you. why not? I'm an INTj and if I was that guy and not attached to anyone else I would respond to your letter. When I was single and dating, I once drove 870 kilometers for a blind date! Turned out I really liked her too and called her a few times after the date but she was not interested. Then, a few years later after I was married she asked about me but it was to late for her. -- Anonymous
A2 I'm an intp, and depending on how it was presented i would absolutely have the potential to be very interested in such a thing. but everything would depend on the content. it would be a delicate balance to seek, but it could be really good. -- Anonymous
A3 Thanks a lot for your support! -- the original poster
A4 I´m an INTP and if you would be an a ESFJ I wouldn´t bother. But if you´re an ESFP I would be more than happy to reply to your efforts to become a friend of mine. -- Anonymous
A5 intj and it depends when some people irritate me i will never speak to them again, but if i didnt really care for the person i might, but probably not just to exchange letters, hahah -- Anonymous
A6 It sounds like you've got nothing to lose. Give it a whirl and see what happens. -- INT-er
A7 I'm an INTj, and if the situation is really how you described it, him scrambling for your attention, then i would say write him. i personally think he would respond regardless of whether or not he currently finds himself in a relationship. Admittedly, I am a bit of an egoist in the sense that if i had made serious effort to get a girl to notice me and found out years later that she still had a thought or two about me, i would be pretty happy. but that happiness would be not so much of an ego-desired win, as much as an ego-desire for justice. i would feel that such a letter would be justified to come my way since i had put the time in to get such attention and then thinking, for lack of a better word, 'highly' of myself that i deserved some kind of response form the other person. given context is and always will be (even for time itself) everything. so its your call. if you had a legitimate connection to him in anyway, then writing definitely couldn't hurt. and if it serves any relevance to the validity of my input, i did a year long exchange in Germany, and i can think of one or two females from my exchange group i wouldn't mind hearing from again -- young but
A8 I'm an INTp, and I would respond to the letter a few times I suppose, before cutting it off 3 or 4 letters in or when it seems that there is nothing to talk about. I have more important things to do, to be frank. -- Anonymous
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A9 I have to agree with the poster who said that he would engage an ESFP, but not an ESFJ. I am an INTJ and we are serious romantics, and the guardians are just too staid for my taste. They can be fun for a while, but they always revert back to being somewhat too ernest for me. -- Anonymous
A10 Thank you all for your responses! Unfortunately, the guy seems to have disappeared, nobody has his address. But if I find him I will be glad to have your answers here. To A7: That's actually pretty much what I was thinking and the reason I am trying to find him -- Ezis (ESFp)
A11 I would consider that she's more than likely interested in your money. Women with children anyone? Even if she doesn't have kids, it's highly likely that if she wasn't interested in you before, she won't be interested in you now. At least not in a way you SHOULD define interested. -- passerby
A12 Trying to ignore this thread... I flew 1000 miles once to meet a dual who I had never met. As it turns out, he wasn't my dual. He is ESTP and I wasn't familiar with Socionics back then, unfortunately. -- Anonymous
A13 I say go for it. If some girl I liked long ago looked me up I'd definitely be interested. -- INTJ
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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