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Question #1252672179Friday, 11-Sep-2009
Category: ENFp ENTj Love Dating Advice
I am an ENFp and I've had a professor who was an ENTj (beneficiary) for about 3 terms and I developed a crush on him. It was really gradual and it's really that I found him incredibly stimulating intellectually. We had great in-class conversations but never anything more outside of this context, he tried to be very helpful as an advisor too... and he is definitely a bit socially awkward when it comes to one on one interpersonal interaction. I really would like to find a way to keep him in touch or get to know him better out of that context. I already graduated from the school and so he's no longer my professor nor is he bound by any ethical issue... Any advice on how to proceed? -- eNfp
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A1 Sure I have lots of advice for you, eNFp! First and foremost do not react to any social awkwardness as a negative signal. Remember that he is an NT and he is "learning" you. We do not begin with complete knowledge of a new subject, which is why we want to learn! He might have been extra-awkward around you if the crush was mutual, since being your professor and thereby bound by ethical issues most likely mattered to him. Going forward, the best thing you can do is use that powerful of yours and imagine the top two or three directions you can see things taking in the short term, and try to decide which one you like best if you can. Steer things in that general direction and he will pick up on it. So here's one possibility: Send him an email and chat with him a little bit (or call him, however). At an opportune moment, figure out what his social plans are. If he has plans to do something he will likely invite you if he is confident that you will accept an invitation. If he does not have plans, he might be more sheepish. In that case, ask him to do something if that is something you want to do. ENTjs can take a lot of social initiative but are not always as successful as we want to be at this, so it is always refreshing to be the recipient of initiative. -- ENTj
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