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Question #1249162576Saturday, 1-Aug-2009
Category: Intertype Relations INFj INFp Advice
Can someone please tell me how to get along with my quasi-identical? I'm infj and she's infp? It seems that the only way I can get along with her is if I agree with everything she says whether or not I actually agree with her and do everything she wants the way she thinks it should be done. This works just fine for her but of course it's not working for me. -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Hmm, well considering INFp's aspire towards Te (PoLR), you could explain to her in common sense terms how what she believes does not correlate with the facts, or how what she thinks should be done would be an ineffective or inefficient method at achieving its goal. But use common sense terms, and don't use too much Ti (INFp's Hidden Agenda) in the form of logical inferences and technical explanations as that might make her defensive. -- S
A2 I've found that most people usually get along pretty well with their quasi, maybe you just need to find some common ground and not over-think the relationship. -- ISFj Tina
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A3 What does work for you and why not just tell her the facts? Maybe she is concerned about your hidden agenda. -- Anonymous
A4 A1... I don't think there's anything wrong with using too much Ti. In fact, an INFp would be drawn to Ti, because they want to understand. My mother is INTj, and I really appreciate it whenever she explains herself, because I can understand what she wants. If she just 'tells me something', then I may not remember what she wants (since I don't any kind of reference). Te works ok for an INFp only if it's adequately explained, which takes time. Whenever my INTp boyfriend talks about his thoughts, I usually have very little to say in return, because I can't formulate my own Te response. I mean... I can just barely wrap my brain around it. I usually just try to understand what he's saying and comment on what I understand. I agree with A2. But in this case, it would be to not over-feel the relationship (Fi). Remember, INFjs use Fi and INFps use Fe, and these funcations can manifest in significantly different ways. I think it would be best for you to use Fi and her to use Ti. They're decision-making functions, and they have equal weight, in a sense, and similar introverted orientation. "I feel like ____." "What do you think?", etc. -- NiFeTiSe
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