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Question #1248447049Friday, 24-Jul-2009
Category: ESTp ENFp Relationship Advice Cheating
Hi, I desperately need advice on how to deal with my ESTP professor. I'm an ENFP, and I'm taking this really easy course in college to fulfill one last requirement for my minor (I'm graduating in just a few weeks). Basically, since this class is super-easy, I didn't go very much, because I just wanted to pass with a C. I always thought professor ESTP was a pretty cool guy. His lectures were funny and not too boring, and all of his students seem to like him. However, I never thought he was particularly smart, since it's a philosophy course, yet he seemed weirdly unable to think philosophically. Plus he would always tell students their interpretations of the book was wrong, which irked me. I was impressed that he was able to learn all of his students' names, because it's a huge class. Now that I realize he's an ESTP, it all makes total sense. (Isn't it unlikely that an esfp would be a pHD candidate/college professor in political science and/or philosophy? He does seem a bit out of his element...) Anyway, things were going fine, I was getting by in the class with a C (which is what I was going for), but now he is accusing me of cheating on his test. ENFP's have strong (albeit sometimes kind of twisted) values, and I truly would NEVER EVER cheat in college, especially in a course that is this easy. (I'm a senior and pretty much everyone else in the class is a freshman.) What happened was, since I never come to class, I missed the memo that we weren't allowed to use outside sources to study for the exam (remember this is philosophy, so there are lots of different interpretations out there to read). He never wrote it in the syllabus either, and I don't have friends in the class b/c it's all freshman, so I honestly had no idea I was breaking a rule. It was an essay test, and we were even allowed to bring notes. Since I didn't know the rule, I had a few quotes from the internet in my notes. However, I truly am a whiz at philosophy, and I thought my essays were really good, and I really did understand the course material very well, probably better than most of the other students. The day after the test, this dude calls me into his office and totally RAILS me for cheating on his test and plagiarizing. I was like WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?! And I acted totally defiant, because why the hell would I cheat on the easiest test of my college career, especially when there's so much at stake for me? (if I fail this class, I won't get my minor.) I don't know why, but he ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to believe that I didn't mean to cheat on his test, and acted like I was some sort of idiot who couldn't possibly have written those essays on my own. In truth, if I had just known the rule, I'm sure I could have quite well on the test. (I just learned that male ESTJs are kind of sexist, so it kind of makes sense that he thinks I'm dumb, since I'm a fairly attractive blonde woman. Plus I totally underperform in his class, so I've given no evidence that I'm actually pretty smart.) He wanted me to admit I cheated intentionally, which I absolutely refused to do(because I didn't! Plus his rule is completely stupid and arbitrary.) Because of my defiant response to his allegations, he decided to give me an F on the test, which makes it mathamatically impossible to pass the class. I really can't accept this without a fight, because it's totally unfair, and I shouldn't lose my minor over something like this. Looking back, I realize if I had just cried and said I was sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, etc., he might have given me a break. But that bridge is burned (I was pretty stubborn and I definitely questioned his authority, intelligence, and teaching abilities a lot...whoops), and now I need to figure out what I can do to fix things with him. I clearly rubbed him the wrong way by not coming to his class and kissing his A** like the freshman do, but I really don't think a teacher should take that personally or allow it to influence his grading. I still don't understand why he won't believe I simply didn't know the rule (come on, my attention to details is basically non-existent!), but I think if he did, we could come to some sort of compromise. Now I'm doing everything I can to go to class and make myself look good (which sucks, because attendance doesn't even count and the class is really early!), but unless he changes my grade, there's no way I can pass the class. Any suggestions about how I can get on this guy's good side after everything that's happened? Please, I'm desperate here! -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Lol this cracked me up. You can make an academic appeal. -- Anonymous
A2 If he really is an ESTp, then he wont care about this event much after a week or two, and you can come to him then, like "by the way" and say honestly how everything happened from your point of view and ask if you can re-write the essay. Dont mention neither his nor your qualities, put it like a day-to-day practical routine. ESTps, unlike ESTjs, dont consider rules to be the most important thing in the world, so he might give you another possibility or at least decide that it is not worth his effort to interfere if you hand in an application for some re-sit or a re-view at some authorities. If there is a possibility to formally apply for something like that, use the opportunity, but tell him about it beforehand so that he doesnt feel you are going over his head. Keeping fingers crossed for you! -- Ezis (ESFp)
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A3 I think you should explain your problem to the head of the department. They should at least give you the benefit of the doubt and let you take a make-up test, or solely base your grade on the final. You can explain that you're planning on graduating and cannot prolong your stay in college... I don't think it really has to do with the fact that he is ESTp or anything... -- Enfp
A4 I would like to add that if you read male ESTJs are sexist, that doesnt mean an ESTp is a sexist, too. Moreover, you write it with capital J which means it was on some MBTI site, and this is Socionics. That isnt always the same. And the more I think about it, the less it seems probable that the guy is an ESTp. An ESTp wasting their energy to make so much fuss about one student? ESTps themselves would probably call this "Much Ado about Nothing". Not even us ESFps would do that, and we take students much more personally. ESTps dont take almost anything personally. And all ESps are too much on the go to dedicate so much time to one student. I nearly blew up an ESTps house yesterday, there was gas everywhere, and he only told me to always remember to switch off the gas, switched it off himself and started talking about something else. - What sounds more possible to me is ENFj - something very similar happened to me once with an ENFj. He apologized after I waited until he calms down and showed him material proof that he was wrong. Not to mention that the types who are the same except for the j-p polarity are most likely to have heated arguments. The Relations section here doesnt mention it but my experience is I quarrell only with SFjs. ENFjs also often look like Ses because of their Se vulnerable function. So my advice doesnt change, only you neednt be "practical", more like polite. Apologize and prepare some material arguments if there are some. Hope that helps. Good luck! -- Ezis (ESFp)
A5 Thanks for all of the great answers guys! Ezis, your first answer is sort of what I had already decided to do...I've been in the class almost a week since the event. I've been going every day, participating a lot, etc., as if nothing happened, and at the end of the class (after I get an A+++ on the final without "cheating" lol), I'm going to approach him again. I WAS planning to focus mostly on the events, offering as much hard evidence as possible(for example, I've since obtained a doctors notes excusing me for the past 2 weeks of class, and one of his big things was that I always blow off class, but I really was very ill for a while, and the class is only 6 weeks long and meets every day.) I was going to emphasize that I cheated on accident because I seriously suck at details, and as a result I can be a total flake sometimes, but that doesn't mean I deserve to fail. Do you think this is a totally useless argument to use on an ESTp? "And the more I think about it, the less it seems probable that the guy is an ESTp. An ESTp wasting their energy to make so much fuss about one student? ESTps themselves would probably call this "Much Ado about Nothing"." - Ezis This confirms my belief that he's an ESTp even more, since he seemed extremely annoyed at how much time we were wasting discussing this issue, since he clearly thought I was lying about not cheating on purpose. Both times I met with him, he cut the meeting short after 10ish minutes, and seemed totally unwilling to spend one more second discussing the issue. I also talked to another professor of mine (an INFp I believe, but I'm not 100% sure), who turned out to be this guy's dissertation supervisor (lucky for me, because the other professor likes me a lot and has had me for a bunch of other classes). He's out of the country all summer, but he emailed me saying he called and suggested to prof. ESTp that "another discussion was likely in order," but that's all he said he could do, and that, given the circumstances, he doubted another 3rd party intervention would make a difference. I am planning on talking to someone else in the department about this as well, but I haven't had a chance yet. I'll let you know though! "(I just learned that male ESTJs are kind of sexist, so it kind of makes sense that he thinks I'm dumb, since I'm a fairly attractive blonde woman. Plus I totally underperform in his class, so I've given no evidence that I'm actually pretty smart.)"-me Sorry that's a typo, I meant ESTp, I don't know why I wrote j. Is this not true that male ESTps can be sexist? Do you think it matters in this case? I think I read it on another forum once but I don't remember. And sorry Ezis about the capitalization, I'm a little new to socionics, but I still think I've "diagnosed" his type correctly. Thanks again for the great answers guys! I have 2 weeks left before I graduate, so I'll keep you all posted on what happens! -- optimistic ENFp
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