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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1247875689 | Saturday, 18-Jul-2009 |
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| Another question from me.. sorry, lol... What's your type, and in what way are you different from your stereotype? -- Simon the INFp |
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| A1 The profile on here says that INFp's have good eye contact, and marry for money instead of for love, and have emotional outbursts. I don't do any of that. I hardly have any eye contact, I want to marry the right guy who will love me as i will love him. I don't hook up with just anybody on an emotional whim, I think about the fact if I'm gonna end up being hurt or vice versa. I make an effort to control my emotions because i don't wanna add stress to others. That's all i could think of right now. =) -- infp girl |
| A2 I'm an ISTp and chief of police in Baltimore. -- Anonymous |
| A3 oh yeah, I'm not really into small talk. I like interesting conversations. -- infp girl |
| A4 I am INTp but #1) the first thing that stands out as dead wrong is Gulenko's claim that INTps are stingy "but can be very generous toward themselves." That is 180 from the truth. I am more sacrifically generous than most, compared to what I *receive* in return. I spread myself too thin in over-generous giving - both materially and through my problem-solving efforts for others. The main issue is my kind behavior is rarely, RARELy positively reciprocated - whether from family, friends, acquaintances (or "karmically" through strangers/charities/etc.) This results in material loss for me and makes me need my dual - ESFp - to protect what we value and find ways to acquire what we need after I've been exploited or neglected too much. And when I *do* spend on myself, most of the time it's because no one else ever expends the thought - so once in a thousandth blue moon, after much personal calculation to justify the self-nurturing seems ok, compared to others' typical, mostly extravagant lifestyles they call "normal". #2) Another implicit stereotype is that INTps are cold and unfeeling, and unaware of others' feelings toward them. I do believe that I feel more than most, though I am not an F. My emotions are experienced in such a strong, extreme and deep way, when truly stirred, that it takes years to recover from deep wounds (compared to what others in the same circumstances), so I must protect my emotions and engage them in negative scenarios as little as possible. Also, after being so used to social peer rejection over the most trivial, superficial things from a young age (e.g., teasing based on the brand of jeans I was wearing?!?), you learn how to ignore many superficial, popular expectations which only vary and perish with time and have no intrinsic value. This is a survival tactic. We are OBSERVERS - we are very aware, but we must prioritize based on what's really important. #3) I do not expect total dependency from my partner. What the Alphas (and others) view as dependency is intimacy - honesty and loyalty - in our quadra. If your heart is divided, I can perceive that; and then when you spend time with me, it is not like "all" of you is there. You are shallow to me - divided in your heart, interests, loyalties, secretive, and thus insincere. Confused. And thus, somewhat immoral in that regard. But give me a gamma SF for a momentary companion, and here is an individual that is truly present and makes me feel unalone - connected, because what you see is what you get. It's the difference between trying to enjoy partly cloudy weather (or even worse, overcast) versus basking in the full sun. The gamma SF's radiate the full sun to us gamma NT's, which is especially important for our soul's nourishment since a virtue of Ni is so naturally "reflective." There are other inconsistencies, of course, but these are some of the main ones. Oh - and #4) gamma NTs make the best scientists because we are the most precise and rational over time. Alpha NTs are the real entrepreneurs who legislate at will, set goals and achieve them no matter what the cost ... and their inward perception is very vague compared to ours which sense every nuance. Externally, we end up appearing vague until you've sat with us long enough to hear every nuance covered to get the full picture ... alpha NTs are bottom line people better suited to business than scientific investigation. Gamma NTs are the pattern seekers interested in natural laws and discoveries bearing pure value. #5) We are also the best troubleshooters and QA Engineers. If there is a flaw in data or a system, we will find it whether we want to or not. It is a law of the universe. This can make *us* appear contradictory or critical when in fact we are magnets for problems, since we are the ones most sensitive to discern them, and also able to find ways of correcting them. So if you're attracting all things flaws and errors every day and trying to cope through them, trying to help others with little reward in return, and then you're getting screwed if you're dual isn't standing up for you so you can try and get atleast PART of your piece of the pie which you've done more than worked your ass off for, and most everyone around you seems immoral and heartless - then people wonder "why" we seem down all the time? Not to mention our capacity to foresee future trends, attract large-scale social problems at a personal level before most believe they will ever even exist; and then find ways to navigate them and resolve them on our OWN? It is not amiss to say that INTps can deeply relate to the trials and tribulations of seers and prophets who have suffered throughout history. /INTp rant -- intp |
| A5 I think I'm a little more...intellectual than most ISFjs. Like how I seem to be the only regular ISFj poster on this site. But more than anything, I think studying socionics has definitely helped me to step out of my type a little more, and not be so judgmental, or so easily hurt, or so straight-forward and completely logical in my thinking. -- ISFj Tina |
| A6 A1 and 3: Yep, I'm exactly the same... I sometimes feel like I'm completely falling apart, but I rarely show it... I certainly never have outburts of emotions... -- Simon the INFp |
A7 A1, A3, A6: I suspect Gulenko's INFp description of being actually a description of INFjs. Every sentence describes my sister perfectly (except for the marrying for money thing) and she's definitely Fi Ne. The description emphasizes sense of aesthetics, and Fi is the aesthetical function, plus j's are more likely to walk with poise than p's. - To the original question: I heard there is one popular stereotype about ESFps, that is, they don't do well at school, but I used to study linguistics, am finishing my Baltic Studies master degree and work as an assistant in an academic project. I also know two ESFp men who work in academic positions. The HA "to know" has its say here. If we love our subject, we are good at it, otherwise we suck. I have most of Gulenko's described traits, except for: I have deeply set eyes (because of genes, my grandparents are Jewish), I definitely don't follow the latest fashion, I can bear criticism for my illogical behaviour. Well, sometimes  When it comes from ITps I trust. Also, I don't complain that people think I'm different than I actually am. I used to, but now because I know Socionics, I know who I am and don't need people to tell me. I can do some activities for a long time, like I've been contributing here for three years. I know how to manipulate people's feelings but am scared of this ability of mine so I don't use it, not even to get the man I love, though I would very much like to, but I use it only to cheer people up. And I'm not especially talkative. I like working with people more than talking to them. And I don't have a wide range of acquaintances. But it took years of developing my Fi to realize whom I really want to be friends with and whom not. Now I almost don't make any new acquaintances so the people maybe think I'm some sort of weird INT, ha. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A8 A4: I think some of that failure to reciprocate stuff MIGHT have to do with the possibility that the things you do or give is what you want to give or what you think they need. What people have in their minds is what they *want*. Most people don't know what they need or want so when you give or do something they need but hadn't thought of it, they think they don't owe you anything because in their heads you did what you *wanted* to do. Whereas if you wait for them to realize what they want or need and then let them ask you, and you do it, then they feel that they owe you something because you acted as per their WISHES. People like that. No, people Love that. It gives them that security that as soon as they need or want something, they have you to turn to, and they get it. It relieves them because its comforting to them to know that there are helping hands available when THEY WANT it. Not when you want to do it, but when THEY want you to do it. Also, if you do everything they want you to do, but if you make them feel bad about it (consciously or unconsciously) they won't feel like they owe you anything and won't even remember the favor you did because people resent people who make them feel guilty or bad and they probably will give you "the jerk" label and stop approaching and asking favors from you much less give you any pie. On the other hand even if you play oblivious and do NOTHING for them and just make them feel good, they will come to you and give you all kinds of pies... for a while atleast. Oh and seems like you got everything else figured out.. goodluck with your 'in the moment' ESFp. -- Anonymous |
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