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| Question #1247312589 | Saturday, 11-Jul-2009 |
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| What is the best way to "One Up", in a social setting, an ESTP man and an ESFP man? In the interest of self-protection, (a workplace setting) my goal is to put these two smooth, underhanded characters on the defensive by baiting each into revealing their unsavory qualities in front of others. Thanks in advance for your help in this matter. -- Anonymous |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 ESTP's are prone towards aggression among others - if you act overly passive socially this may bait him towards going too far. An overly aggressive response before other people may make him look bad. ESFP's innately see themselves as being "The Favored One" among others. Lead him to believe they will receive something special that others in your group may not, and then arrange to revoke it - watch the ESFP throw a hissy fit/temper tantrum. Both may get knocked down a few pegs in your social group as a result This is a tough question because there are no smoother operators in a social setting than ESTP and ESFP. -- Anonymous |
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| A2 A1: You could do that, but I'm not sure what THEIR response would be... I'd expect them to take revenge. Even worse, you'll have two people working TOGETHER against you! -- Simon the INFp |
| A3 A1: You can bait only stupid ESps, we are quite good at noticing someone is not being spontaneous. More probably the two men would recognize you are baiting them but play your game because they want the bait, but stop trusting you and taking you seriously. A2: I like more making fun of ESTps than cooperating with them, unless it was against somebody who hurt my sense of morality, then I would cooperate with anyone if it was important to make the person realize they acted wrong. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A4 Both these types are extremely socially astute. They often detect other peoples underlying motivations. And, they can detect jealousy a mile away... possibly because they are often the the target of it. They know when competition is at hand. And, they use their smooth social skills to manuever as the winner! If you could get others to envy or dislike them and shake up their social support base, that might shake them up. Then, they would have to go into damage control and regain alliances... but watch out for the pay back! On the other hand, if you top them fair and square in whatever competitive edge you have, they are often good sports, and you could get some of the sparkly limelight for yourself... fairly! -- Mystified ENFP |
| A5 A4: Hat off, the first part is very much true... But I don't think your advice is valuable. We ESFps are as good at detecting antagonism as at detecting jealousy, and we're very sensitive to it and simply can't exist in an environment where we sense strong competition. And as we see everyone's motivations we have this tendency to keep explaining to everyone "He didn't mean it like that, he's not as bad as you think". So we'd probably not try to regain the alliances but try to persuade everyone the others are better than they think, and if we didn't succeed, we'd probably try to escape the uncomfortable environment. As to ESTps, they are too impatient and too much "on the go" to actually organize the regaining of alliances, they probably simply wouldn't care or attack the rival directly. Your suggested strategy might work for ISTjs, though. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
A6 Just do your job to the best of your ability, don't stoop to their level, and make sure that the power people in your workplace know how well you are doing your job and are giving you recognition for it. Playing their game of one upmanship sounds like a poor idea. If you can, arrange to "lose" right in their face in a way that doesn't matter, so they will feel their victory and start leaving you alone. Fall on your sword when you lose to them in the office fantasy football pool, with pride  -- ENTj |
| A7 stay un-involved and focus on more important things -- Tricia |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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