| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
| | Join now! |
Who is who?Learn how to convert between different systems
V.I.An introduction into the widely used Socionics Visual Identification technique
TestsA collection of Socionics related tests and quizes
Q & AsAsk a Socionics related question or provide an answer to an existing one
ArticlesVarious articles on the subject of Socionics and Types in general
ForumsWant to discuss Type? Head to Socionics Forums!
|
| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1246001082 | Friday, 26-Jun-2009 |
|
|
I have an ENFJ friend who is currently very unhappy. She is normally a very warm, friendly and outgoing person, but lately she has been very pessimistic about life in general and what her future holds. If you are an ENFJ, can you please give me suggestions as to how I can cheer her up and help her to be more positive and relaxed, especially about things she can't change? What can be done to snap her out of this state of mind for the long run?  -- entpreter |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 Manual work or sports usually help in such a situation regardless of the person's type. And as she is NF, try suggesting to her some physical work for charity purposes for summer - that would produce these hormones of happiness and at the same time she would feel (and be) useful. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
A2 As a moody ENFj myself, I know that it's a sort of 'dark' emotional phase of reflection that she's going through, contemplating about the negative aspects of her life and the effect it will have (in her mind). Those phases are brief, though, and I believe that she'll soon find an 'opening' in the negativity that will give her a sense of relief and control over her future. In the meantime just keep her emotionally cheery and provide that good atmosphere (you seem to be an  -leading type so it should be easy!) -- David |
| A3 A2: I'm not so sure about that... when I'm depressed, it kind of annoys me when people try to cheer me up. I just want to be left alone, so I can deal with it... Instead, I think it's best to show her that you're there for her, if she wants you to be. -- Simon the INFp |
| A4 (To A3): Well it makes sense that you want to be left alone when depressed (as you're introverted & thus rely on your inner world to assist in your problems); plus either possible solution is valid since both create the positive emotional atmosphere. (To the questioner): How is that situation coming along anyways? -- David |
| A5 A4: Sorry, I know, but as we both have introverted intuition, I wasn't certain... -- Simon the INFp |
| A6 My ENFJ friend is still in emotional limbo, and as much as I am there for her, it often feels like it's not enough. As an extravert, she definitely would rather lament with friends than agonize alone, though, I think that she does both, and quite often. As an ENTP, my urge is to move her towards happiness or at least emotional stability. I want to "fix" the situation. I'm starting to realize that my ENFJ friend does not necessarily want to "fix" the problems, but rather she wants to "talk" about the problems. I definitely listen to her, but I will admit that it is exhausting sometimes. I suppose that my exhaustion moved me towards seeking a new way to help her (requesting your insight), and because, as a friend I do want to see her happier and more confidant. -- entpreter |
| A7 A6: I'm the same.... I'm past caring, lol. I think she will get better eventually, but it won't be easy to be honest. In my opinion I think she is emotionaly exhausted and it's not as simple as just trying to cheer her up. If you want to help her, maybe suggest a psychiatrist. But I could be over-reacting. -- Simon the INFp |
| A8 A6: What exactly do you consider being there for her? I bet you don't know what that means. You must be a bad breed of entp or some other type, cause entps are very caring and empathetic for people and they certainly dont mind listening to people's sad stories if it's genuine. -- the real entp |
|
|
A9 ENFjs are very practical people. They don't need or want hope regarding outside forces, to the slightest bit. She doesn't have to be with the things that she doesn't like. Especially the things that she cannot change. Life is beautiful, we just need to move around and find our brightest spot. And I have faith that she has or will find her brightest spot weather you know it or not.  -- The final farewell |
| A10 to "the real entp" (A6), leave personal hits out of this-it's petty and uncalled for. (A9) I believe that ENFJs are practical people and are very efficient in finding out what works for them and what doesn't. My friend is very practical when she wants to be, but she knows that she gets into hyper-anxious states, especially with things that she can't control. She sees a therapist, and I'm sure it has helped some, but as a friend who cares for her, and who doesn't want to see her friend fall into the depths of darkness (where I've seen her fall to before), I'd like to get insight on how to help her as much as I can. Granted, it usually has to come from within, but I'd still like to help if I can. -- entpreter |
| A11 I have an ENFj friend and she gets all hyper anxious only when she doubts herself. She prefers to keep in touch with reality when it comes to things she cant control. Comments like "I'm sure you can do it" and helping her practically and NOT theoretically can help tremendously as well. Hope this helps. -- friend of an ENFj |
| A12 I am an ENFJ. Of course everyone is different and so this may be a gross generalisation - but ENFJs seem often to be caught in the tension between really needing deep and meaningful connections with others, and finding it very difficult to open up. If you have a strong friendship with her then taking time to be with her and ask her sensitive, leading questions to help her open up to you might be a good idea. Also suggest to her that she start a journal, if she doesn't already. Good luck. -- Anonymous |
A13 Yeah I think giving some helpful suggestions to be more happy helps a lot. Like being involved in organizations of interests, volunteering, helping little kids or very old people, making things, etc. I also think it never hurts to have LOTS of friends. Reconnecting with old friends that you havent talked to in a long while. Staying busy, and I think its really important to be your own cheerleader in your head.. efficacy makes all the difference in the world so I've read. Regularly checking our deep thoughts and feelings and making sure what we're doing is consistent with what we want is like changing oil for cars. Take good care of yourself, love yourself unconditionally (and I mean REALLY unconditionally). Realize that whatever a fellow human being can do, you can do, it only depends on whether or not you want to. Start a new project you'd be excited about. If someone is a jackass to you take pride in yourself that you're much much better than that. These suggestions are just to name a few  -- Anonymous |
| A14 The best for her is to get help. Her friends, like you are the best candidates. First, you should know why is unhappy. ENFjs tend to be trusty or very personable, you may ask her for more clarification, or from her parents. Later you should give her advice, or maybe go to a university website to talk about career choices, or taking tests to raise her will, extroverted feeling can be a two sharped weapon. Lastly you should take her to more trips, go-outs and make her meet more friends if you can. If she feels she can be in harmony, so she will be more positive about her future. But beware if it is a low self esteem issue hidden from a long time ago, something her dominant function may hide. -- José D. |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
Page 1 |
| Would you like to add anything? |
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)
|
|
