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Question #1245823293Wednesday, 24-Jun-2009
Category: INTp Success/Failure Advice
I am an INTp who is experiencing a major problem with not being able to stabilize my life and reap any personal benefit. A natural innovator and problem-solver, the "free thinking" nature of my type is leading me to a strapped existence: I am losing freedoms in the outside world through the various logistical problems I now continually face. I am trying to solve how to reverse this phenomenon, as my life seems to be an ongoing "drain" - people, institutions ever demanding MORE, and not compensating me for what I contribute. I consistently outperform others in the same roles yet get screwed, and asserting myself has never worked. Systems do not work for me unless I am a member of it working on how to improve it to increase its efficiency and productivity. Then the rewards for those at the top run sky-high, I lose my position, and receive less and less compensation over time. I also often get screwed on a minor detail miscommunicated to me; or, a completely absence of information. I am naturally cool yet when I am able, am concerned about others' problems, trying to help them by disseminating the information I accumulate coupled with innovative perspectives so as to try and attempt the rational processes of the mind and extricate some positive value from the situation which profits the sufferer, to reverse their role/luck. I also spend much of my personal time trying to solve my own problems, too. Yet, nearing midlife, I am drowning in this approach of my dominant functions because life is no longer working for me. I abhor any prospects of *personal* (vs. theoretical) exploitation and yet increasingly am finding others throwing this role on me as "the fall guy." It's like the old commercial: "give it to mikey ~ he can (handle) anything". The world treats me like an octopus without supplying me with the typical fundamental starting resources it gladly nourishes most others with. It is a cycle of "milking" my own circumstances to keep on going until the next crisis - the next problem arises. Its exhausting. What functions should I develop more? I also am not employed using my dominant functions any more - rather - my inferior ones, and this normally angers me which I constantly try to control and figure how to continually accept or overcome. I've tried developing my self-assertion for years and my willpower, but these still do not bring results when it comes to my personal benefit and well-being. I also try emotionally bonding with others, giving and (trying to) "receive" so as to reinforce others' sense of self-worth and ego as well ... but I experience great injustices in life, due to either my lack of social skills (or perhaps, resourcefulness?) I feel like an alien. I have also often been told throughout life that I naturally appear very arrogant before I even open my mouth, and as if I THINK I know it all - which I know I DON'T and do not see myself that way at all. When I do "shine" before others, they think I'm a neverending source of goodies for their taking, and that every task is "too easy" for me. I don't know how to eradicate these perceptions. Even demonstrating my need and faults does no good. Most of the time it feels like no one cares for my welfare but me, despite my caring for others through the assistance and gifts I have sacrificially given throughout life. (Whenever I do give, it seems I inadvertantly create a spectacle of myself in the perception of others. I don't get it.) If you have any ideas or similar experiences with any of this, please help and share your thoughts. I'm in a deep cognitive hole I need to emerge from, and my life is getting damn near un-DO-able - the fluidity of daily activity and work (i.e., Te functioning) is running out completely, if that makes any sense. E.g., it's a wonder I even have access to the internet to post this. -- Used, drowning, alien INTp
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Your Answers: 1+ 3+ 4+
A1 Sounds like you need a dual and fast -- Anonymous
A2 INTp... first one advice, and it have taken me awful lots of time to appreciate this, a cooperating venture with an ENTJ friend: Do not associate too much of your personal comfort with external input, whether it is people, career or items of any kind. They will do you good within a very limited timeframe, (beyond your absolute essentials that is), and then you need a refill, usually with input of a higher grade than the previous one. An infinite quest leading to a dead end street, and when you reach the end of that, then what? You mentioned arrogance, and you probably display it. I know from experience. Arrogance is an attitude for hiding inadequacies in stressed situations. And those situations, are situations where you have an exessive personal demand for satisfying others expectations, which really is your own expectations of yourself . Get rid of that, we cant handle everything in this world, we need to accept it, and live with it. Second, do not endulge yourself too much with this talk of developed or undeveloped functions around here, those are pointers, not a bible. It all boils down to self discovery and self evaluation. You cant by diciplinary action develop any kind of function, or supress any ditto in the long run. What lasts is personal revelations triggered by thorough and honest selfevaluation. Which is darned hard, I know, but it got to go along those lines. Perceptions other people make of you is to a strong degree impressions you hand them. We are radiating all kinds of signals outwardly, in talk, attitude, posture. So, do not overanalyse this, the problems you are defining are rudimentary in their source. We put up our display, our guards and attitudes, in an endeavour to present we're AOK. But if you ARE AOK, you really dont need that, would you? You just ARE what you are. I would strongly encourage you to read the works by Immanuel Kant. You can synthesise awful lot of that stuff for your personal benfits. But in essence, he emphasised two basic points I try to follow; the thing in it's own right, or Das ding an sich(hope that was correct German), which evaluates the core of anything defined, very close to altruistic philosophy in many aspects, or impeccable logics, I can tell, and the concept of the Maxime of your actions. That is, an action expanded to a multiple of similar actions, performed by equally multiple individuals evaluated against the sustainability of the system involved . Which makes a good impression of what is wrong and what is right, what is beneficial and what is counterproductive, among others. You'll be amazed how you can synthesize this. Then, remember this, a very important lesson I got from a friend, the ENTJ, whatever idea, word or attitude you may receive from another individual, is solely that individuals responsibility. That is, if you get hurt by it, get angry fom it, or in any way achieve any amount of instigated discomfort from the aforementioned endeavours, you are actually deciding to achieve those, and those decisions are your responsibility. Size up a situation like that, two individuals, a and b, a decide to verbally abuse b, a's responsibility in decision, b decide to play along and achieve discomfort, b's responsibility in decision. Das ding an sich. Try it, it is a tremendously long ride, probably never reaching conclution, but awfully interesting and rewarding every step of the way. -- ENTp
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