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Question #1243548803 | Thursday, 28-May-2009 |
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Do ESFP's ever look back? I've had a couple of ESFP friends/boyfriends in my life and I loved them so much (I still do). But after a while they just seemed to move on without giving any notice. I'm an INFP and I get really sentimental about the people I bond with, so its hard for me to believe that an ESFP could just leave and forget about me, never looking back. So, I was wondering if this is natural for an ESFP? It seems like they don't have a sentimental bone in their body. Is this true? -- Katie |
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Your Answers: 1+ |
A1 I fell in love with an ESFP about 5 years ago. She moved on. She still uses love wording with me sometimes (eg. "deary," "my dear friend," etc..), but I believe she does not look back. ESFP's in general tend not to look back. -- INTJ |
A2 Interesting question... We have two sides about us, one Se and one Fi. The Se one is ultimately practical and independent and tells us things like "it's not worth falling in love with this guy, he's from a different country" or "maybe I could try dating this guy, we have a lot in common" or "this friend is getting obtrusive, let's run away". While Fi complicates the situation, especially when we're older than some 25, by shoveling in topics like loyality, faith, values, emotion, "I'll never meet someone like this again, I should respect the person and keep the relationhsip going even though we are from different countries". So it depends on the situation which one will win. I personally can get extremely sentimental, I also very much value old friends of mine and exchange friendly letters with my ex. Every guy I was in love with has a special place in my past and I remember them from time to time. (Well when I get a boyfriend I'll try to stop this ) The problem you have with ESFps is IMO 100% caused by you being an INFp. One, Semi-Dual relations are very unsure, the athmosphere between the partners changes every minute and ESFps have extremely sensitive radars that sense this at once, so they may prefer relationships with more stable athmosphere. Two, the ESFps cannot use their Fi as their creative function in your presence because of your Fe - Fi always looks lame, clueless and oversensitive when confronted with Fe - so after some time with you, they are not sure how to use it, start feeling useless and ashamed of their Fi, overemphasize their Se because that's something they share with you and - use it to run away. If the guys really are ESFps, I'm sure they liked you and still remember you, just they don't show it in Fe way that's understandable to you and don't want to return into the unstable athmosphere. - Well, now it looks as if ESFp-INFp relationships were a total catastrophe, but I assure you I know many INFps that I admire very much. Two of my bosses are INFps, I am very loyal to them and I love to work for them. I just think ESFps and INFps make better colleagues than friends. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
A3 A1: Actually we are more sensitive than we seem to be and we look back a lot, but our F is introverted so we use it more when we're alone and nobody sees it. And in order to protect ourselves from complete emotional breakdown we use our Se and Te to find practical and rational reasons why to be or not to be with the person. So what the others see is the ultimate result of the interaction between Se, Fi and Te. -- Ezis (ESFp) |
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