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Question #1241679665Thursday, 7-May-2009
Category: Relationship ENFj INTp Marriage j/p
I am an INTP male, almost INTX, married to an ENFJ. We've been together fifteen years and I really love her, and she is extremely committed and loving toward me but there are many little things about her that drive me nuts - most of them due to her complete inability to act logically in the face of extreme necessity, thus making me feel that I have to work against her in order to "take care of business" and survive! Realizing, of course, that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship what insights can anyone offer on this? Are there any other INTP/ENFJ couples out there? -- Cat Daddy Steve
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 I'm going to assume you are a Socionics INTp (you're using the MBTI INTP acronym, and the two are not always synonymous). What you've written does sound like an INTp reaction to an ENFj, rather than an INTj reaction (INTj being the other possibility). The INTp-ENFj relationship is a relation of Supervision, ENFj being Supervisor, INTp being Supervisee. In such a relationship, the ENFj and INTp share strong Introverted iNtuition (Ni), so each perceives the world in the same way (INTp has Ni as the primary function, ENFj as secondary). The difference is that the ENFj's strongest point, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), is the INTp's weakest and most vulnerable point. When the ENFj begins to use her Fe heavily, the INTp feels irritated and unable to handle it. He may try to counter by using his Extraverted Thinking (Te) and telling her what ought to be done, but the ENFj will just dismiss that as annoying and irrelevant. My personal suggestion would be to try to respond with Ti instead of Te. In other words, try explaining what the problem is and why it exists, rather than what ought to be done about it. This will likely seem boring and pointless to the INTp, but if I'm right, the ENFj would appreciate it. This is just my own speculation based on the theory, mind you, I don't know if it will work. -- Krig (INTj)
A2 I'm a F married to a T. Just listen to her, and realize at the end of the day she does appreciate your logic. -- Anonymous
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