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Question #1240253121Monday, 20-Apr-2009
Category: Typing ESFj ESFp
What are some practical ways to distinguish between ESFj and ESFp? As an INTj, I would like to be sure of my ability to spot the difference, for rather obvious reasons. I have some experience with ESFjs, but not much with ESFps. If anyone has any experience with these two types, their advice would be appreciated. -- Krig (INTj)
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I have a few really good friends who are ESFp, and a couple who are ESFj, as well as my sister. I've noticed a lot of ESFps are extremely live-for-the-moment types. They love to have fun, and are very exciting. ESFps are like the life of the party. It seems like some ESFps are more likely to be distracted than an ESFj. An ESFj is more about their morals than their fun. Like, one of my friends who is an ESFj is always talking about how much she is against anything irresponsible (like teen pregnancy, or drunk driving.) And they also talk A LOT. You ask them a simple question, and they go on for what seems like forever. I think I seen on the ESFj domain on wikisocion.org that you should never ask an ESFj how their day was, because they never stop talking. ESFjs always seem to be in a hurry.... can't think of anything else -- Anonymous
A2 One thing I noticed is the difference between Fi and Fe being used by the types. From the ESFp you might hear them say words such as "friend" and "hate" which depict their own subjective relation towards someone. For example, "omg I can't believe we're such good friends already!" says an ESFp to an INTj. ESFj just laugh a lot and try to fill the silences but they don't usually tell people what they really hate, or who's a friend and not a friend. -- Anonymous
A3 Here's a few tips: ESFj's generally talk more than ESFp's. ESFj's facial features are regular and you can sort of define them, while with us ESFp's you can't even be sure if our faces are round or longish because they look round when we smile, and longish when we don't. I think the surefire way to distinguish between us and ESFj's is to observe the way we interact: ESFj's interact very steadily. Even when you talk to a chaotic ESFj, you can see that what they're doing is communication (or, sometimes, a monologue). With us, it's long periods of silence and distance when you could even confuse us with INFj's or INTp's, and then suddenly we smile broadly and start telling a crazy story that makes us look "like a stupid ESF", and then we try to explain something with enthusiasm that makes us look geeky. That's all because our F is introverted so we aren't able to express it well. Plus we try to use our Te to explain something from time to time, but of course it's weak in us, so it doesn't always come out as we'd wanted. That's why in us ESFp's, you can see the moments of effort to make ourselves clear (like me now), and then moments of not caring whether everyone understands us or not. And generally, if you observe an ESFp for some 30 minutes, you will spot moments of extroverted enthusiasm taking turns with moments of inertia. While for ESFj's, this is not an issue. Neither is making themselves clear because their Fe thinks in more or less clearly defined and categories and terms everybody can understand (or they think everybody can understand). If you observe an ESFp for some 30 minutes, you will spot these moments of inertia taking turns with moments of enthusiasm. As to people we prefer, ESFj's like unpredictable people they could give their love and caring to, while we look for more steady, decisive people that will help us understand (and by that we mean the introverted intuition insight). Generally, ESFj's create order in chaos, while we create chaos in order. -- ESFp
A4 A2: it's actually the other way round - we ESFp's are the ones who fill the silences with laughter and don't tell anyone who's a friend. Remember, "introverted" in the term "introverted feeling" means something like "private", "not easy to explain", "not sure if it wants to share or not". We ESFp's have introverted feeling, and so we are never sure what part of our feelings to tell, and to whom. That's why we don't have any clear categories as "friends" and "not friends". We go by "which values I share with which person". So, although things like love or hatred are subjective, it's ESFj's with their extraverted feeling who are more able and willing to communicate them. -- ESFp
A5 ESFj is usually goal oriented and focused but open to suggestion and very confrontational when someone does something the ESFj doesn't like. ESFp is usually casually searching for something and very open to new experiences but immune to suggestion and only aggressive when you threaten the freedom of the ESFp. ESFj embraces structure and rules while ESFp finds these intolerable. -- Anonymous
A6 A5: totally true, in a nutshell (at least from my point of view). Only adding that we can also become aggressive when someone criticizes or mocks our innermost values. Or when someone mistakes our behaviour for manipulation or aggression - then we can actually become nervous and aggressive we're weird. -- ESFp
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A7 The differences between the two are subtle. If I had to give a concrete comparison I would say an ESFP is the ‘Spoiled Brat’ Cheerleader spending all of Daddy’s money. ESFJ is your typical gossipy office Receptionist, Assistant, Secretary, Stewardess, etc. who was hired by Dad. In other words, pretty much the same type. ESFJs can also be spotted in lead roles of cheerleading. Something from personal experience, I’ve noticed that ESFPs tend to make good cooks, but mediocre to horrible bakers; always burning anything they place in the oven. And only cook sporadically, or when they want something. ESFJs can make decent cooks, but excellent Bakers. They will more than likely always have homemade treats lying around. As mentioned somewhere on Socionics… ESFJs will host parties, ESFPs just want to be the life of the party. To sum it up ESFPs are the lazy type unless FORCED to be otherwise (e.g. Daddy cutting them off.), ESFJs are more uptight; both are typically airheads that place entirely too much value on the simplistic: Clothes, Shoes, Hand-bags, Hair, Nails, Food (Guys more than Gals), Social Status, Money, Friends, etc. If you had to select a type closest to primitive it’d be an ESF. (If you had to select a type closest to Alien, an INT.) One more... If you find them arguing with you (often) over stupid petty sh** in early stages of getting to know them... they're more than likely ESFP. ESFJs usually take a little longer before they annoy the hell out of you. Of course all experiences will vary so don't take mine as a definite. -- MBTI and Socionics INTJ
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