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Question #1240252911Monday, 20-Apr-2009
Category: ISTp Relationship Dating
How do you make an ISTp get over you? -- ENFp
Your Answers: 1+
A1 You don't "make" them do anything. It's up to them to figure out. -- INTj laddie
A2 tell them to get over you. enfps are notorious at leading people on sometimes and not even knowing it... -- Anonymous
A3 I'm in the same boat—I'm an INFJ who just broke the heart of an ISTP. He still tries to contact me and sometimes we talk, but I've come to the conclusion that it is best (and i knew it when I broke up with him over a month ago) for both of us to move on. Even though he says he doesn't want to move on. It is frustrating, -- TheBlondest
A4 You want them to get over you?!? Ah, but they're you Dual! So they're like your other half! Are you sure you don't wanna date them? Shame, well i guess you can keep your distance with the ISTP but just remember it's not gonna be easy for them! -- ENTp
A5 Theyre actually not my dual. I'm an ENXp. I go halfways between T and F. But I am simply not capable of "drawing ISTps out" when they need to be especially when they want to leave AND want to stay at the same time. ENFps and ESFj however, are naturally capable of expressing their feelings to the ISTp and in way that the ISTp can believe and trust completely. I however can't. First of all its slightly uncomfortable for me to express and i just hate appearing vulnerable especially if they are not revealing their vulnerabilities (which they cant do unless i do it first BUT then they dont believe me sooooo its a deadly vicous cycle), and when I do, they do not believe or trust me. And their T (non emotional way of talking) prevents them to comfort me when i DO reveal my vulnerabilities so it makes me not want to be vulnerable in front of them ever again. I feel that they are too cold and mean (in some cases) for me. And honestly, when I read some of the descriptions of ISFps I could NOT beleive it! It was EXACTly the description of the kind of guy I had wanted in my subconcious, ever since I was little. I really need peace and harmony and positive emotions for me to keep going and be motivated which they can provide. They hate conflict, I think I'm pretty good at dealing with them when a situation arises. and I have realised I am MUCH more better equipped for breaking an ISFp's shell than an ISTps. My ISFp friend opens up to me much more than with other friends with zero effort on my part... same with my other ENTp close friend (who is in a 3 year successful relationship with an INFj guy). I have observed my close friend an ESFj interact with her ISTp boyfriend (who btw she started talking to a month ago for the first time and started doing homework together, and two weeks later they were in a serious exclusive relationship) and she is wayyyy more better at expressing her feelings and making him feel comfortable and trust her and thus breaking his shell than I can ever be. I've strained, twisted, distorted, streched, went out of my way, contorted soo much (it was pure agony) for an ISTp but to no avail. ENFps can naturally break an ISTp's shell without little or no effort, one of my roommates is an ENFp and she started dating an ISTp after knowing him for 2 months and after one week they started figting everyday about one thing or the other. And guess what? she LIKES it. She says she likes fighting. I am not like that AT ALL. I Need Harmony. When I was involved with an ISTp, 65% of the time I was depressed, tense, worried, or angry. I genuinely feel more happy being single than I can ever be with an ISTp. I was talkng to my ESFj friend and she had said she would like it if a guy 'shook things up' by hurting her or making her angry once in a while so that the relationship doesn't get 'boring' or 'stale.' For me, I'd rather not feel anything at all than be angry, sad or hurt. ESPECCIALLY if someone makes me feel like that On purpose. And shows no deep genuine regret and remorse. I want either Happiness or Nothing. I had read somewhere that an ISTp feels offended by an ENTp and an ENTp feels victimized by the ISTp. Which is sooo true in my case, I guenuinely felt severely victimized too many times by an ISTp throughout our rocky road, and I don't think I want to go back to him cause I think it WILL happen again. And I don't take crap like that from anybody, not even for a hundred billion dollars. And he broke my trust, so I can not trust him ever again ever, especially in his "love language." ALSO, I read the bit on wikisocion about there being the 'serious' and 'merry' categories of the 16 types (Alpha and Beta are merry, and Gamma and Delta are serious) and I'm definitely merry, and I want a merry partner. Whereas ISTps are serious and needs a serious partner like an ENFp. So yeah, sorry about that, I kinda mistyped myself back then. Cheers to duality! -- ENXp and the original question poster
A6 how DO we make them get a hint? -- entp
A7 ISTPs everywhere will miss you ENXp. We ISTPs never go into a relationship thinking, "Boy this one is going down in flames!" We have the same hopes and dreams that you do. We just have a strong need for independence and are slow to connect. I wish you well in your search. -- ISTPJim
A8 Yeah ISTPs are no good at hints... hitns are like gussing. Just tell the ISTP what you want to tell them and they will move on. -- Anonymous
A9 Straight up tell them, but act nice and gently. Dont play games, as this will make it worse. -- ISTp
A10 Be gentle toward them if you interact with them, but keeping your distance is best. The less they see you and interact with you, the better. Also, if you are in a relationship already, it's best to have a conversation with them, let them let out their feelings, be considerate and give them time to adjust to the change, but then cease contact. It may still take them a long time to process it, but they know that is their own issue now, and will respect your space. -- istp woman
A11 Ok... how do we make a ditched ISTp stop being a creepy stalker? A7 Im not so sure about that. You seem nice, the one I knew was officially The most selfish person I've ever met... in my perspective. -- ENTp
A12 @ A10 Keeping distance doesn't seem to do good if they foolishly think that they can make the other person come back to them after a couple years or something for example. All the rest in your response is upto to the ISTp to decide. Either they ask for help to adjust to the change or do it themselves. Same with letting out feelings. Although that seems as pointless as writing down feelings and burning it later. -- entp
A13 A11: Because all ISTp's are the same right? I'm guessing all ENTp's are just like you. There's only 16 different types of people on this earth. Forget character, uniqueness, and human decency! We're all a bunch of tiny little robots, each of us with a random personality prototype dictating our actions. What is the world, or rather, you socionic-junkies coming to? I want to know how everyone seems to know everyone else's type. You guys all VI experts? "Hey man, nice 'stache. You must be an ISTj." Come on. How ridiculous is that? -- Anonymous
A14 A13: That is not the point. -- Anonymous
A15 Its a side-point. -- Anonymous
A16 Obviously I'm talking about a SPECIFIC and UNIQUE ISTp here. I know all ISTps arent as bad as the one I knew. In fact I know 3 of the handful of ISTps I know are almost opposite of the one ISTp i knew. They all are pretty different. Thank god. -- Anonymous
A17 Actually my previous response contradicts my belief that every single human is good in their own way. So, I'll modify my previous statement to "arent as bad For Me (pretty sure the one unique ISTp I'm specifically talking about could be good for (or to) someone else just not for me) as the one I knew." -- Anonymous
A18 Tell him he's ugly. -- Anonymous
A19 Sigh. I have the same problem.. it doesn't help he has to be soooooo freaking good looking. -- torn innocent
A20 Everything you're breathing for will let you down and leave you sore. -- Anonymous
A21 I can relate to A5 exactly. I grew up with an ENTP father though and that is definitely the reason why I feel miserable around ISTPs. I get all depressed around them, some of them are really cold. -- Anonymous
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A22 I'm pretty sure that most people on here mis-type themselves and each other. For example it seems there are a lot of people claiming to be rational types who say a lot of irrational things. It also seems that there are a lot of people trying to excuse their own disfunctional behavior (or inability to connect) by blaiming it on another person's type. -- Anonymous
A23 Hey ENTp, Sorry about your stalker ISTp. We do have a habit of running hot n cold...n hot. We also don't see what we have until it's lost. Guess it's that intuition/feeling problem. But once we get over that mountain, and if you are waiting on the other side, you won't find a more loyal companion for the rest of the journey. As for your stalker, just cut ties 100%. He's watching for signs and you have to be very clear. For A21, I can understand your cause for depression. ISTp do avoid highs (and lows). Most I know stay positive most of the time. We often reflect the emotions of those in our immediate circle. So if you are depressed, we have no idea how to help, and we are drawn into the funk. That's another reason that we like ENFp's so much. They tend to pull us to our happy place. -- Anonymous
A24 leave him a note saying. "im so sorry. i killed him and im carrying his baby. goodbye forever" something ridiculously confusing. he'll be happier confused then heart broken - the idea of note being able to be together!! as oppose to just not wanting to -- Anonymous
A25 Write him a cheque to buy him off. -- Anonymous
A26 Cheques bounce. I would want Euros. -- Anonymous
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