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Question #1239450386Saturday, 11-Apr-2009
Category: ENFp Intertype Relations Happiness INTp ISTp
Hey fellow sociomaniacs. This is my first time posting a question here so I'm quite nervous- heh but ANYWAYS: I am an ENFP (through and through), and I was wondering if there are others like me who feel that sort of vacuum inside? Like a 'chronic dissatisfaction', gotta-be-more-to-life feeling? (how can one 'combat' it or at least tone that down?) Sometimes I think getting into a relationship might help but I've always been hesitant for some weird reason (considering my Type). I don't know if I should go to either of these extremes: trying out as many different people and types as possible/ waiting a real long time for the One (which I would really like to know once and for all if it's an MBTI INTJ or socionics ISTp btw). Finally, I would also really really like to be recommended future university course choices/ careers (I hate that 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' kind of questions actually) Thank you in advance for any replies! -- Enfp lass
Your Answers: 1+ 9+
A1 Well I got a similar problem and I'm an ISFP -I've always dreamt of one day becoming something more than..just a hard-working mother & wife. I always feel that life is not all about getting money (like many people percieve it to be) but about making your dreams come true u know..using your potential fully.For u, as an ENFP, I would suggest something artistic,or fast-paced and active job with lots of interaction with collegues,customers etc.,that would help you enlarge ur horizons -PR,tourist-guide,journalist,actor/actress idk =) I'm sure u know better than anyone else what ur good at! Wish u good luck cuz I'm in a similar situation I am also going to college next year so I am trying to chose something for me - and ofc every ADULT I know is trying his/her best to convince me that being an actress is stupid,not well-paid, in other words a waste of time. I am really irritated by these comments and I have also thought of getting a degree in something "more worthwhile" that I have interest in like PR, but then again Art is where my heart is! (sigh) So maybe we should just embrace our calling..u know and be happy with our own choices! =) -- ISFP
A2 Where you see yourself questions are something that demonstrates insight into yourself. As much as you may hate them, I'd highly suggest sitting down and figuring them out. Seems to me that the "emptiness" you describe is common to ENFps, and it's also common than ENFps don't have a clue about themselves. The "Who am I?" and "What am I here for?" questions seem to elude them. Yet, there are ENFps who I've observed working through the process of self-discovery wherein they began looking inward, and they blossomed. That "emptiness" as they described, went the way of the dodo. Figure yourself out from within, and the external world will take care of itself for you. Nobody can give you anything that you can't give yourself, and at the end of the day, yourself is the person you'll always have; so why not be completely content and intimate with that self? Finally, as a side note; there is no One. Dispense with that notion and you'll find that your relationships blossom, in that you'll no longer have expectations clouding the pure beauty of shared experience. You won't need them in order to be happy, and so you'll never bring toxic dependence into the picture. -- INTj laddie
A3 Oh man A2, you killed it. Some pretty deep stuff and I agree with most everything you said.. and as an ISTp, i have a couple friends who are ENFps, and definitely noticed this "blossoming" that A2 described -- Anonymous
A4 Ye nice one INTJ, top post that. I'm an ENFP too . TBH I don't get that "there's got to be more to life than .....", sure I get an inkling of those thoughts, but its not a major problem. I have read other personality type profiles and I saw that in an another, I think it may have been an ESxx., but it probably is an ENFP too, as that is an Ne characteristic. What I would recommend is to try and get in contact with your introverted side, try to look inside yourself, try to find out who YOU ARE. I have done this through using this personality theory. When I first read it, I was like "wow this really is me", it was like I'd found myself.. Your hesitancy seems to bother you quite a lot, well it bothers me too. It's 1 of our weaknesses, the solution I currently have is 2 J parents, who force me to make decisions and as a result I do. You have to accept it as part of your character, although you can improve it. Anyway, the area I can really help you with is the future uni choices/career choices. I don't like making decisions, I hate them, I don't wan to be confined to one subject/career..... So what I have tried to do is chosen the subject that keeps as many doors open as possible, so I can CHANGE MY DECISION after making it. Choose a subject that will give you a lot of options, not 1 that is focussed on 1 area of work. Hope this helps and good luck! -- A fellow ENFP
A5 Hey, I'm an ENFP and I get the exact same feeling (especially in the winter). It's the feeling that what you are doing is not big enough, that you should be doing something more and grander. Trust me, that doesn't go away no matter how big the stuff you are doing is (unless of course you get a lot of recognition for it, in which case you will feel a lot better). But, mainly, it's true what the INTJ said, untill you discover yourself, you will have to rely on recognition from other people and that is very fickle. You will eather have to be consistantly amazing or you will need to learn to be your own critic. However, at the same time, that nagging feeling of dissatisfaction inside is fantastic: it never lets me sit idly for too long. Always keeps saying that you have to be better than other people, and that's what makes you stronger: the push from inside. Regarding the career choice, I advise business management. First of all, if you chose business, you are not tied down to anything, you can select any field to work in, because every field needs managers. Secondly, you get to be at the top and make the right decisions and not have to be constantly told what to do (which is the reason I chose busines). Thirdly, world of business is a world of constant change, everything evolves on daily basis and you are the one who guides and addapts that evolution. That's my opinion. Regarding relationships, don't go into a relationship to try to discover yourself; it's a really horible idea and you will be miserable through the entire process. Instead, discover yourself and then go into a relationship. Anyways, wrote too much already. Good luck, you are too tough to fail. -- Friend ENFP.
A6 Hi, I'm an ENFP too. I believe that it's all about balance i.e. go for what really appeals to you inside (not the money, not the 'what I should do' etc) but what really gives your personality a buzz and then balance that off with how you can donate that same feeling to something noble. I have come to this conclusion only recently and am still searching (but consciously now). Good luck. -- Melbourne
A7 Decide on what you believe, and open your mind to all possibilities. When you find what it is your moral compass says is right, you'll know, then do it. Follow your gut, it's probably right. It doens't hurt to have a few friends that are rational thinkers, as well though. Some rational thinkers will hate you and not understand you, and you'll never measure up to those types till you stop trying to. Other rational thinkers will greatly look up to you, and those are friends you want to have, (at least one or two) who can help you ground/plant your ideas. your moral compass will take you across the world and back, and don't beat yourself up if you don't see the world changing around you. I've noticed as ENFP, the disconnect makes you think you're not having the results you wanted when you started a project.... but the reality is, the idea in your head was usually gigantically unrealistic... so the final result of the project probably is doing all that it was meant to be doing. You'll figure it out. Don't second guess that intuition, no matter what ANY HATER says along the way, because many will try to get you to second guess yourself, because you have an open mind. The intuition is about 97% right 100% of the time, meaning the rest is guesswork because rational thinking, unfortunately is a b**** for you, as an ENFP personality. Don't fret that too much though, because as a result of not being able to think rationally all the time... will result in lots of funny stories to tell, and you'll make a lot of people laugh when you tell them. There's a lot of people insecure in the world, and they'll think you're perfect sometimes, because on the outside you don't show many imperfections. They'll realize your human though, because of that rationality deprivision you got, and that way you'll still be able to be friends with people. Just don't get insecure or paranoid about your weaknesses, roll with the punches, and you'll have a fun life. whenever you start getting too serious, too paranoid, too whatever... chill out and take a break from whatever it is that's freakin you out, because it's probably your body tellin you something ain't right. (not just like a weird feeling or whim... i'm talking like months and months straight feeling like you're paranoid, maybe a bad job or unhealthy church or organization, etc... taking a break will help you see the big picture. Good luck, I'm taking a break now. -- gatorchaser
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A8 Hey Lass, As an ENFP myself, my advice to you from my own personal experience is this: find something for yourself to focus on and go with it, I know where your coming from with that "vacuum" feeling. I had it for 2 years while I was out of high school, but I can say this, up until I decided to go into one of two career fields which deal with helping people (which is something that appeals to me greatly, the chance to help people in many different ways, I'm still in school trying to decide on either finalizing to be come a Physicians Assistant or a Psychologist) I felt a deep void of uncertainty in my life. Trust me Lass when I say, it is natural for us to get fantastical ideas in our heads about what we want to do, but I can say from personal experience, that by going into a serious career field that utilizes ENFP's natural propensity for helping other people, you probably will always feel "adrift" in a sea of ENFP uncertainty. The certain fields in medicine, psychology, social services, consultation, counciling, are all great career choices for an ENFP. I hope this helps, and remember, sometimes in life you gotta do alot of boring before you can get to the greatness we all aspire to. Just hang in there, and the rewards will be greater for you. -- Marty/ENFP
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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