| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
| | Join now! |
Who is who?Learn how to convert between different systems
V.I.An introduction into the widely used Socionics Visual Identification technique
TestsA collection of Socionics related tests and quizes
Q & AsAsk a Socionics related question or provide an answer to an existing one
ArticlesVarious articles on the subject of Socionics and Types in general
ForumsWant to discuss Type? Head to Socionics Forums!
|
| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1234309021 | Tuesday, 10-Feb-2009 |
|
|
| How are INTjs like in love? Are we more likely to fall in love through our heads first, rather than our hearts? I know I tend to freeze up near a love interest and become way more careful with my words. Anyone has a similar experience? -- needs improvement |
|
| A13 As an INTJ female, I agree with A6. The 4 times I fell in love (from dating to marriage), it was with my heart first. But logic kicks in and evaluates the relationship. When I found that the relationship (logically) wasn't working for a variety of reasons, I pulled away. Not only did it hurt emotionally for me, but I found myself also trying to protect the other person from being hurt (if I knew that they were a nice guy, just not for me). Because even though logically I knew I wouldn't be happy with certain things, emotionally I didn't want to hurt the other person. -- Anonymous |
A14 Oh goodness. I love INTjs. You're such softies on the inside, however you may try to deny it by being cynical, pain in the ass bastards.  You try to remain cool, unflappable and aloof - which, incidentally, I admire very much because I so often lose control of my emotions - yet there's always this... something beneath the surface. It's especially obvious when you have a creative outlet. Two of the best musicians I know are INTjs. Such *moving* music. Arranged well, too. You know what sounds good, yet what inspires you to create in the first place is very real and dear to you. And that is something tangible.  Don't be afraid to get into the music, INTjs! Belt out that song that's on the radio, if you know it. That stars-in-your-eyes look of childlike innocence/utter thrill is just... marvelous. Oh, and you guys know how to wind me up, too. When you want me to tell you something. Ooh, you can push my buttons like no other. I have so much affection for you, yet am unable to give you what you need. I freeze up when you sweep off your figurative top hat. I don't want to be wined and dined. Your gallantry amuses me more than it delights me. I'm tolerant of you, and I may grow to love you as my goofball best buddy. But in the end, you need those ESFjs, for long-term, lasting fulfillment. -- ISTp91 |
| A15 I fall in love from a distance, and never say anything. If I do seduce, it's a game, but not with those I love. The Charlie Brown thing hit it on the head. In my yearbook, one good friend left to me in her "will": "The courage to speak up when I like a guy." I'm 39, still not married, but look decent and have a 147 IQ. People say I either look like Grace Kelly, Lynda Carter or Kate Winslet, depending on the hair color d' jour. And yes, I'm totally a INTJ. -- Miss over-analytical |
| A16 With our hearts. Then we must evaluate our beloved with our heads to see if they fit our self-imposed criteria. -- Captain Awesome-INTj |
|
|
| A17 the question is when we're in love. do you mean really in love or when we simply have a crush? a crush is the same for most people: you like them but are too afraid to tell them and you feel crushed. to be in love means all your doubts and fears wash away. i feel like a complete person. i get and give that estatic feeling. you feel it in your chest. i'd say i have an extra bounce in my step. confidence raises up. my certainty is clear. i feel perfect. basically when i'm in love i am very spontaneous and exceptionally creative. i establish a fine balance between mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. -- Anonymous |
| A18 INTJ'S tend to like to debate and take apart things....this string is perfect proof of that...Ha. I think I fall in love in my head cause I'm not connected to my heart and don't know what I'm feeling. That said, I believe that my heart is really involved I just don't know it. I do instantly know how I feel when I meet someone and usually know fast if a budding relationship will be successful or a failure. I do have a good idea of what I want my husband to be like. And I do seek that out....I'm good with wit and humor, but being a smooth talker HA!. When I meet someone I like, believe me I hide it well at first. I wait to see how things develope and once I know for sure than I act. -- adnilemeus |
| A19 I agree that most INTJ fall in love with their hearts but prior to that will first analyse the situation with their heads and know whether the other person is willing to reciprocate what the INTJ is willing to give. I personally am in 'LIKE' with my guy friend who is an ISFJ (i think). He is a good listener, my opinions are always important to him, he is loving and he takes all the smart rubish I say everyday. I love psychology and a lot of my friends think I'm a freak but he is the first person who actually listens (not exactly understands) to what I have to say which is really important to me. Because of that I've sort of decided with my head first that he is worthy of my time, my affection and a bit of my heart and then I passed the information straight down to my heart that I really like this person.Now I'm in a good situation where I have a good psychological and emotional relationship with someone that is worthy of it and it feels safe and good. -- Anonymous |
| A20 As an INTJ, I have to admit that I've never really felt comfortable being in a relationship. I don't feel like any of the guys in my life have ever been "it." I can be quite charming and sociable, and people seem to be drawn to me. However, I realize that I am just scared out of my mind of a failed love or relationship. I have closed my heart to uncertainties. I don't have time to pick up the pieces, and it's not fair for the man who is a certainty. Women can be easily distracted/affected/more sensitive to matters of the heart. I see it everyday- Baggage is only necessary for travel. . . Putting everything you have into a relationship that doesn't work is Almost a waste of time-you did learn something valuable, but it was costly. I try to develop friendships to make sure that I am comfortable. It creates less expectations, and I can decide who I want later based on the quality/nature of our friendship. The best part is you can still keep your friendship even if it doesn't work out- that is if your friendship was strong enough to begin with. . . If you act more confident with the person that you care for and actually engage them through conversation or silly chatter- they will feel more comfortable because you let them in & that is an opportunity. You just have to be mindful about your actions and take control of the situation. -- True |
| A21 I've been fortunate in that most women enjoy or are drawn to my personality. Some have even pursued me. Most recently, an ISFJ! That being said, I'm usually attracted by some curiosity about a woman. Her unique gate or smile, the sound of her voice or her laugh. But oddly enough, long legs really do it for me. Then as curiosity is satisfied, I can feel my heart pound in her presence. My thoughts race. I long for her. Later I think about the relationship. Probably over-think. Okay, I DO over-think it and where it might/should go. At times, I'm insecure about my relationship. Most often when my new ideas for my work aren't going over like I thought they might. So, I transfer or project my insecurity. That's when I usually push her away a bit and withdraw some. Pretty immature but now I can see/feel it happen and oft-times curb it some. My ISFJ needs a lot of reassurance and when I'm down or weak, it's difficult to meet her needs even though I KNOW it's her personality. And I'm certain she doesn't always like my 'eye-in-the-future' when her fears tell her there's danger RIGHT NOW. Unfounded/unproven need for fear annoys me. But we work through it. Five years in, and though we sometimes have struggles, I'm still extremely curious about her. And the physical element has never been better! Didn't expect that with age. But I'll take it. -- midfiftiesintj |
A22 I am an 19 year old INTJ female in a relationship going on 7 months now. Because I am so distant from meeting new people, my friend has told me about him for the longest time. We set up a double date, and now we are in Love. Without being introduced, I cannot say if I ever would of had the nerve of meeting anyone by myself. It is simply not the way I roll. Before I was in a relationship, I would stay far away from guys I had a crush and did Not engage in any conversations due to my emotional fear. Relationships confused me and I did not know how to handle it. Simply enough, Thank God my friend practically set up my future husband. We could not be more alike! _________________________________________________ CAN you teach me anything about myself that i may not know? THANKS!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  -- AllisonGal |
| A23 How are we in love? Falling in love I am disgustingly gooey inside. Eye gazing, hand touching and buying chocolates, all that rubbish. Also ready to get all wild with them. Though how much I may have scoffed at that it became who I was. Though the facial expression on tender moments may not wary to outsider viewers much. For me it feels like from stoic/pretend normal to lax and dreamy. However when crushing or admiring someone I used to pay more attention to my appearance to look less attended than usual. Just to throw them and myself off of any notion I may fancy them. These days I dress more up than I used to, but when I know I'll be seeing someone I feel attracted to I try to confuse myself out of my old habit. So I dress a bit more up just to convince myself I don't fancy them. All this because the social interaction or just being my awkward self will become even more unbearable with the knowledge of being the sort of person to be a bumbling fool in front of a crush. Trying to talk to convince yourself you definitely don't have an attraction fails most miserably every time. Also as I think naturally I don't stand any chances I think every mistake is going to be costly on my already self bruised esteem. I do know how to flirt though! I have observed humans too long not to know. It just tends to miss the target. Somehow confidence fails me and I just engage the person next to the target to a flirt. Because somehow the intended person will hear it and think highly of my prowess, and maybe if and when we talk they will just ignore anything stupid I say as they have witnessed other than frogs can come out. Also relevant for dancing and asking for a dance. I can not stretch it enough how fulfilling it feels to be around ESFj. We just understand each other and each others' failings, they seem more natural things as opposed to being insults, ESFj may find awkwardness cute and they really have just the right sort of touch on social situations that we try to have. To have that in a partner must be amazing I imagine. -- Ty M. |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
|
| Would you like to add anything? |
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)
|
|
