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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1231377749 | Thursday, 8-Jan-2009 |
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| I'm an ENFJ girl dating an INFJ guy. It seems to be working out ok, though I'm worried that it won't last because of our differences; we are often like a Pepsi and a Coke, both trying to steal the stage. Do you think this could work out in the long run? -- Rose (ENFJ) |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 I know a few couples who are Contrary relations and honestly it doesn't usually last. -- Anonymous |
| A2 An ENFj dating an INFj - highly improbable. -- Anonymous |
| A3 From the description given, I'd say she is referring to ENFj and INFp. -- INFp guy |
| A4 to Rose: I truly understand to a certain extent the worries going through your head about it. I dated an INFj girl; we could talk on the phone for HOURS but when it came to being in public, she would seem to retreat to her own personal space, becoming overly distant and almost unwanting of my company. Needless to say our relations extinguished quite quickly after a harsh argument about "what was more important". Try not to be too suspicious of her actions (if you've read the Contrary relation description, it notes that the Extravert partner is in the more vulnerable position). Unfortunately these relations really do have an unstable psychological distance. to A3: nahhh, my best friend's an INFp (my mirror) and I know from personal experience alone that mirrors aren't competitive in social situations (at least ENFj-INFp mirrors), however mirrors do tend correct/add-on to the others approach and opinion of things. -- David - ENFj |
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| A5 Hmmm...that's a tough one. I think if you really want to make it work, and both put in the effort, then you can both make it work. But that's only if you WANT to make it work. If there is a lot of doubt, then the future of this relationship doesn't look too bright. Maybe instead of trying to compete against each other (lol, Pepsi vs Coke), you could both try to supplement each other's awareness, and cooperate to achieve a common goal. Explaining to the other person why you use the methods you use, why you value the things you value, could also potentially foster understanding and a stronger bond. -- S |
| A6 I've known a few contrary couples and it usually doesn't seem to last. If you really want it, you can make it work, but usually you're just better off with different people. -- ISFj JJ |
| A7 hey there, I'm an ENFj and my wife is an INFj. this can work but you as the extravert have to give the space needed for the introverted to grow and recharge. this can work it just takes a bit of humor and time. building a deep-rooted friendship helps very much in this matter. HOWEVER, being extraverted myself, i understand that you feel like he totally doesn't care about you, but don't let all this hubbub about contrary stuff bother you so much because with patience, trust, and devotion this relationship can work. -ENFj -- matt |
| A8 Matt, thanks so much! I just started a relationship with an INFJ guy (I'm an ENFJ myself) and we both seem to eant it to work very much. Your post just gave me wind at my back, so thanks! -- enfj girl |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
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