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Question #1231294043Wednesday, 7-Jan-2009
Category: Advice ISTj Healthy Living Relationship
hey- so I am a female ENFJ college student, and I have been good friends with another female ISTJ for some time. She's a really good friend, but she's a bookworm, and doesn't seem to know how to approach real people, particularly the opposite sex. I'm really proud of her because she has been able to come out of her shell a bit in the last year (she started hanging out with some other girls and even got up the courage to befriend a guy), but still seems to have some problems on the dating front. She's been in a cycle for awhile now: 1) choose a guy she likes, 2) approach the guy, 3)befriend the guy while secretly crushing on him, 4) continue friendship while secretly imagining him as prince charming, planning their wedding, ect. 5)guy does not seem to pick up on her hints, and so she gets discouraged and moves on. Lately she's started the cycle again, and, as her friend, I'll litsen to her, but, quite frankly, I'm getting sick of the same old sob story and just wish she'd be able to find a real boyfriend. I know it's hard sometimes for girls with "T" preferances to date; does anybody have any suggestions about what I could tell her? -- ENFJ
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Why don't you leave her the hell alone. She'll meet the right person at the right time. Stop meddling. -- Anonymous
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A2 Whoa jeesh A1, grumpy much? She's trying to help a friend. -- Anonymous
A3 When helping people we have to be careful not to project our own selves onto the situation and know the limit of when to step back and let things ride out for themselves. It has nothing to do with grumpiness, rather, A1 making a good point. -- INTj laddie
A4 I have friends like this all the time, and you must be very frank with them. "You will not get anything nor deserve it if you don't reach for it." Like what Harriet Tubman said,"Freedom is not bought with dust." -- Infj
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