| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1229595440 | Thursday, 18-Dec-2008 |
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| Hi, I believe I'm an ISTp. I think it describes be very well. I want to ask other ISTps, with our tendency to push potential lovers away, how do you get over that? What are your experiences and what kind of relationships do you have? -- Anonymous |
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| A20 To A14 I'm a sensitive soul and can't handle people critizing me especially if they say I did something unethical or unloyal (I have a high sense of honor and loyalty)to family and my friends and that's one reason, I avoided a guy who was interested in me (i liked him too btw) It might not be a big deal to others, but it's devastating to me...to be talked about that way. Another reason might be because I have my guard up. -infp again -- the infp from A13 |
| A21 A15 - A16 and A17 sounds like theyve been around. They would know. -- Anonymous |
| A22 About enfp's getting hurt...I rate if an istp is mean to you, dont take it personally most the time! I think it said in personality page that enfp's should try take criticism objectively coz sometimes it can help you, and what i've found, especially from an istp! I truely think istp's are amazing people on the inside! But, yes, sometimes an istp can be really mean all the time, then it's probably healthier for the enfp to let the istp go. But i guess it depends on the extent of the hurt. It's debatable!!! -- Anonymous |
| A23 A22- I don't think ISTps criticize people but they just tend to act like they care and all of a sudden like they don't care. -- ENFp |
A24 Aww such an ENFp thing to say A22! Always justifying and defending ISTps. I personally cant stand ISTps most times regardless of cause.  -- ENTp |
| A25 Hello world. I'm an ISTp and a fickle bastard and I can't help it!!!! -- Anonymous |
| A26 Yeah I agree with A18, ENFps have a knack for knowing if a relationship is going to work or not in the long run. So it goes the other way too, if an ENFp decides to break up, it is carefully thought and is well justified. So better to not prolong the hurt, ISTps and move on. A25 I'm sorry to say, that is solely your problem. Good luck. -- Anonymous |
| A27 A25: Unstable and unreliable, they seem to be governed only by how they feel at a specific instant.. Nobody feels intense affection for mates every day every minute for the rest of their life, they still are there for each other and are reliable when they make plans for each other, even on days they don't feel so lovey-dovey.. and they still make successful forever lasting marriages - the only kind I believe in. -- Anonymous |
| A28 is saying one will wait for ISTP no matter how long it takes and find them attractive...after a big blow off...a viable strategy? or is it better to go into detailed personality facts and ask for non emotional discussion? -- Anonymous |
| A29 I know a couple of ISTp's. One of them I have known for a couple of years.. well, after we had known eachother for a little while, she told me that she has this horrible tendency to push people away that she is really close to and has known for a long time. (this was before either of us knew anything about socionics.) She also said that she knows it's probably not such a good idea and is trying to figure a way to stop, but that she also doesn't really feel too bad about it because now she knows whom she can trust. Once she's gone through a "break up" period with someone (and this can really be anybody close to her, not just a potential lover or some such) then she is completely comfortable with them and is not afraid to trust them, because she knows they're really her friend. My response to her was basically, ok, well now I know what's coming and I'll stick with you through it. Anyway, my point in telling you all this is this: if you see that someone is becoming close to you and that a "pushing away" period might be coming, just be up front and honest about what could happen. Tell the other person. What have you got to lose? If they are right for you, then they'll understand and prepare themselves for it. -- ENFp |
| A30 I can't speak for other ISTps but for myself, I think my reasons for pushing potential lovers away had to do with not knowing what I wanted or needed in a girl. I can be very indecisive and take awhile for deciding how much I liked a girl, does she like me, will it work, is there someone better for me and so on. As I matured more and understood myself better I've learned to be more decisive and take action rather then drag my feet and hope a decision is made for me or becomes clearer. I don't know if that helps answer the question but don't string out potential lovers and push them away when deciding where the relationship will lead. -- ISTp/SLI |
A31 Personally if I'm attracted to you and I suddenly get cold, it's not that I've got beef against you. It's mostly because something's injured my self esteem, and now I'm not sure I'm right for you anymore. I don't know about other ISTPs, but I can't trust myself to read relationship potential or displays of affection. I'm chronically unsure of myself and don't want to be a guy who drags you down. Really angsty, I know. I don't know how to value relationships, and this is why I never get close to anybody. -- istp  |
| A32 Im an istp and its just what it is. I tend to be hot and cold not because I'm irritated or bored or trying to push people away. It's coz most of the time I need time to think. I value personal space and that should be respected. I can be with someone but not every single minute of every single day. I am fiercely loyal and faithful and I tend to keep my word. I just don't talk a lot coz talking is tiring and I get bored with little conversations. It's tiring to pretend that your excited or interested with someone else's stories. Zzzzzzz -- Anonymous |
| A33 @A15 are you still with your ENFp lady friend? -- Anonymous |
| A34 @A30, You sound just like my ex-ISTP-boyfriend. He left suddenly one day so he could "figure out what he wanted in a partner". This made me feel very un-important, and piece-of-meat like. If I may ask, how old were you when you felt confident in being more decisive and better at taking action? Or at what point in your maturity did this transformation take place? -- ENFP |
| A35 The whole "But that's just how I am!" attitude absolutely drives me nuts. I'm an ENTJ - my Feeling function is inferior as well, in other words - and have made a concerted effort over the years to at least TRY not to be more aware of other people's feelings and not so much of a harsh, domineering a**hole. I won't say I succeed with this all the time, but I succeed at least partly, and my personal relationships have VASTLY improved as a result. If some behavioral trait of yours is standing between you and the life you want to live, then work on yourself. There's really no excuse. -- Anonymous |
A36 @A13 I am an INTP. I value friendships and all relationships. I am honest and respectful.  -- Anonymous |
| A37 I am intj broken hearted by an istp... We met online and we had so much connection we decided to travel together as he was coming to my country, but in reality he was pushing me away all the time. (I still don't know if it was because of my intjness, that I was very affectionate, or what...) I told him the feelings I had for him and was rejected as he said that he is confused and has recently feelings for other girl... Then I left the travel, to get back to work and he was messaging me all the days... I feel so confused. -- Anonymous |
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| A38 I am intj broken hearted by an istp... We met online and we had so much connection we decided to travel together as he was coming to my country, but in reality he was pushing me away all the time. (I still don't know if it was because of my intjness, that I was very affectionate, or what...) I told him the feelings I had for him and was rejected as he said that he is confused and has recently feelings for other girl... Then I left the travel, to get back to work and he was messaging me all the days... I feel so confused. -- Anonymous |
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