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Question #1224854450Friday, 24-Oct-2008
Category: ENFp Marriage ISTj ISTp Relationship
I am definitely an ENFP through and through...and I have been dating an ISTJ (in MBII). We actually got engaged about 5 months ago! I am wondering how compatible we will be in the years to come, since we seem to be very different in terms of personality. He is so consistent and organized, and I tend to want to live life by the seat of my pants and smell the roses. We share similar goals & values, yet I want us to be better able to communicate with one another. Sometimes I just feel like it is hard for us to truly understand one another. I am wondering if anyone has any advice on how to maximize the benefits & strengths of a relationship with someone who has such a different personality type. I want us to truly learn to enjoy one another, instead of trying to change each other! -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+
A1 i just found out i'm an ENFP yesterday, so i typed it in and U came up. i think thats wild that u would know what type U r in life. I feel like the ISTJ person would be so different from me but ur saying your in a relationship with one. I love the way u put ur life, :I tend to want to live life by the seat of my pants and smell the roses. I like the way u put it. and i feel ya. anyway peace and love hope your relationship works out in the long run. -- menke
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A2 You will probably drive each other nuts, but also have admiration for each other. He's organized, precise, and reliable. Your adventurous, charming, and fun. -- Anonymous
A3 I'm an ENFp male and have been dating a younger INTj female for close to a year now. We have a strong relationship and enjoy time together , however I find that the relationship in general moves slowly( make that glacially). She does tend to keep me grounded and I tend to help her reach out of her comfort zone, but it's not an EASY relationship by any means. -- Anonymous
A4 I am an ISTJ, what's very interesting that I used to come up as an INTJ. To explain some facts: I am 39 and lived in 3 countries for at least 10 years each, what this did to my personality was to slightly change my perception of life and I see the world differently to a degree now. I am sure I am a true ISTJ now as my actions are as described. I think maturity is one factor, purpose in life is another. Also my parents are from old school central Asia mentality and I lived and embraced western values for over 30 years now! To make it short, ISTJ's are not bound by official marriage documents, so their commitment is from within and from the sense of duty. What my concern for you is that after the marriage, the commitment might reduce your level of tolerance toward the nuances that are now seeming acceptable. Also, ISTJ is perhaps considering you'll give in to his views in the long run as you'll believe him when you see it. This is for you to see if you can compromise to keep the marriage going. One more point, you mentioned many years to get to this point now. Dont you think the excitment of finally making it happen is not blurring your views to see the real picture and see the actual differences? I don't mean to break this, I only think like an ISTJ and perhaps you should too, analyze before you regret. Thinking deep a few times before a commitment of this sort does not hurt, but a bad decision without calcuation is for sure a disaster waiting to happen. Good luck and many prosperous years either way to both of you. -- Zacques
A5 I am an ENFP in a live in relationship with my ISTJ girlfriend. I am also bipolar and quite extreme in my emotional spectrum. My partner, as she has become, is on the opposite end of the scale. In the end we balance each other out quite nicely and doing what you said in your post about learning is really the key. I am always in a rush and she is always taking her time, getting things in order. I have become more patient and she has become more aware. The nicest thing is that she does not get emotional, she has them and I feel loved, but there is no spike in emotion which is fantastic for me. Being an ENFP my emotions tend to rise with the occasion, if I am in a heated argument and the other person starts to get heated I will get heated as well and as they rise I will rise. With my partner now we communicate, not always perfectly, but rationally. Sometimes I get emotional and she just listens and offers support, sometimes she asks for a push and I provide it. It can work, just keep the positive attitude and open mind. -- Anonymous
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