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Question #1224423674Sunday, 19-Oct-2008
Category: ENFp ISTj Intertype Relations Relationship Love
Can some one discribe an enfp-istj relation ship...where the enfp is a girl, and the istj is a guy (<< if it really matters...) -- Anonymous
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A1 That's my parent, moms ENFp, dads ISTj. They went through a lot of separations when I was growing up, fought constantly. They've grown more content with each other nowadays but they're still not close. They never really confide anything with each other and generally only get a long when they're doing some sort of activity, but even than they sometimes bicker. My mom actually admitted that she is scared of him. He does have an intimidating nature and will occasionally give orders. He doesn't care about manners, at home or in public, Se>Si, and this irritates my mother immensely. My father will tend to speak to my mother more like a father, telling her what she can do with her money and that sort of stuff. So, no, I wouldn't say this is a healthy relationship -- An INFj
A2 I am an ENFP girl who was in love with one ISTJ and had another close relationship with another one. Let me tell you-you feel such a strong attraction towards them-but for both of them, like a house of cards-it'll all come tumbling down (and it doesn't take much to make it fall) You can keep trying again to rebuild it, but it will always fall... from my experience, i would run far, far away. relationships with both of them ended very, very badly. They are unable to truely understand you and deep down want you to change even though he is attracted to you anyway. As an ENFP i feel like someone who loves me should accept me as i am. Once i met the second ISTJ i felt the same intense attaction to him as i did to the first one I was in love with-and all the same old problems came up again. It seemed like we always had something looming in our future-i could see it and i would warn him of the problems i could foresee from my experiences, and he in turn scoffed at thoughts instead of working with me. This always caused a lot of problems. ISTJ's are stubborn. They stick to their point and will never get the hell off it. It's a good thing, but it's also a really bad thing when it comes to having discussions about your relationship. ISTJ's are very, very traditional and while an ENFP has the ability to play traditional and may have some traditional values-this will eventually get really old and bother you. Lack of change-booorrrrreeeeddddooommmmm sets in. The ISTJ seems almost desperate at some point to tie you down and i feel as though they are intimidated by the fact that ENFP's are unpredictable. -- Peggacorn<3
A3 I had a very bad experience with an Istj.. He freaks the hell outta me. Although we are amazed with each other thoughts and ideas, we cant seem to agree. I broke it off immediately 5 months later -- Anonymous
A4 ISTj don't understand ENFps at all. They can't stand the irrationality of ENFPs and the fact that ENFps need to make their career and work fun. I think ENFPs don't understand how ISTJs can perform their job without deriving any emotional satisfaction from it. ISTJ will make an effort to not show any judgement on the ENFp but deep down they do judge the ENFp's actions and everything that is emotion-driven in an impulsive kind of way I think is repulsive to the ISTj. Sooner or later, the ENFp ends up losing their self-esteem as conflict types usually always emphasize your weak point and both probably need to put too much effort in order to make any sense of why the partner acts a certain way or say a certain thing, without ever really understanding, as it seem the conflict is always lurking and inevitable. It is so taxing. I dated an ISTJ and never even understood how the relationship deteriorated, but it just did and in spite of having mad feelings towards each other in the beginning. It is true that the initial attraction can be very intense. -- -So
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