| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
| | Join now! |
Who is who?Learn how to convert between different systems
V.I.An introduction into the widely used Socionics Visual Identification technique
TestsA collection of Socionics related tests and quizes
Q & AsAsk a Socionics related question or provide an answer to an existing one
ArticlesVarious articles on the subject of Socionics and Types in general
ForumsWant to discuss Type? Head to Socionics Forums!
|
| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1221480240 | Monday, 15-Sep-2008 |
|
|
i'm an ENFP (female) and my brother is an ISTJ. obviously, i can't end relations with my family, and i love him alot. what can I do to get along? I'm a little frustrated because I've tried alot of things we can do together (our interests vary significantly) and haven't had much sucess. Many times, I don't feel as if I'm close to him or know him well, and this frustrates me further. It also doesn't help that he's a guy and i'm no good at reading the male mind. so. any suggestions you guys have to offer are welcome. thanks!!  -- ENFP |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 u only need to read the male mind for relations which tend toward s. here i am, sitting beside my sister, for which between us...there is no affinity. this is alright....atleast i learned how to get into heated arguments from a younger age than most. however, these rough approximations of relations have there benefit. my sis, an ESTJ(?)/director (i male-intp), although younger than me by a +year count as Co-Eldest in the house,...i have seen these relations are better for later in life when roles change...atleast one can trust the other to fullfil there process well (thats needed)..as atleast we know that the other knows how to fight well. Oh, obviously the chemical is turmoil at some or other stage... but as your brother is an 'i' obviously u not supposed to get at his personal process(rather than as by ur def: a male process). -- @sirac |
| A2 Since you are of conflicting relations, it's not likely you will ever become close friends because the psychological distance is too great. But that doesn't mean you can't get along well. My brother and I are also opposite types (ESFj/INTp) and we are not very close because we are so different and don't really understand each other very well. But we get along just fine as long as we respect each other's personality types and don't try to impose our dominant functions onto one another. This also means that our relationship functions best when we are not too involved in each other's lives and we don't do much together; if we had to work closely together for long periods of time we would get on each others nerves. So that is what I would recommend for you, be friendly but don't try to force a relationship, and you can use socionics to help understand his personality and actions. -- Anonymous |
| A3 Leave him be to do his own thing and do your own thing. Let what naturally happens between you two happen - no need to force a certain relationship between the two of you. Besides, ISTjs like their space. -- INTj laddie |
|
|
| A4 It probably distresses him similarly. According to some folks on this site, I'm an ISTJ, though the notion really chips away at my self esteem. I actually can get along with ENFPs, a girl that took an MBTI test to confirm that she was an ENFP befriended me recently, I used to find her difficult, actually, I don't know of any "ISTJs" similar to myself, since I really like her. How arrogant. But I'm not sure how to identify other ENFPs, as the entire basis of my conclusion might be on shaky ground(I have a suspicion that I've bad mouthed my share of ENFPs, though I don't really know what if they are or not). A description of him and the relationship in depth would be helpful if you want a good answer from the perspective of a potential ISTJ. -- Grant |
| A5 Actually, the ISTj more than likely isn't distressed at all. The best description would be "puzzled." When an ISTj sees an ENFp, it's a "what on earth is this person thinking?" reaction. All that dominant Ti wants is understanding, and with an ENFp, there is none for the ISTj. Moreover, to the OP; why would you mention ending relations with your family? -- INTj laddie |
| A6 hmmm, maybe if you got in touch with your introverted side (which apparently ENFp's are pretty good at) when you're around your ISTj relative, you'd get along better with him. after all, ISTj's and INFp's get along quite well (activity relationship). So, for starters, that basically translates to reading the meaning behind whatever topic, anecdote etc he talks about with you (Ni), as opposed to generating original, kooky possibilities (Ne). Ultimately tho, i think the 'let him do his own thing and you do your own thing' approach is prob the better long-term solution. but showing more of an introvert side might help to foster more good feeling between the two of you. As the ENFp and him the ISTj, you're the one who's more adept at adapting your behaviour. to A5, i think the OP was being sarcastic when she mentioned ending relations with her family (hey, it's probably something we've all wanted to do at some point in our lives, but felt frustrated knowing it's probably not a practical solution despite being a fairly simplistic one) -- Shez |
| A7 You don't have to be best friends with your brother. As long as you're nice and respectful, you don't have to try and create an intense relationship that he might not want. Let him live his own life and come to you if he wants your companionship. -- Schk |
A8 I always test out in socionics to be ENFp, and I used to come out an ENTp in MBTI and now I always test out as ENFp but I can relate with the description of ENFp and ENTp kinda. My F is now more developed as that makes me more happy. SOO I can prooobably claim I'm an ENFp although I'm not the stereotypically clingy and extremely animated in social situations ALL the time ENFp and ENFps seem to be a lot more attracted to T types than me... I prefer T types as good friends and introverted F types and T types only if they are nice for dating. Anyhow, one of my best friends now is an ISTj. At first she seemed to me kinda critical and a dampener to my enthusiasm but with time we learned not to press each other's buttons. And what I love about her is her no bull**** honesty, high morals and loyalty. I never have to worry about what she might be thinking, if shes holding any grudges or being a two faced b!*ch. She says it all whatever she thinks which is usually unbiased. Although sometimes.. actually most times I'd rather not hear negative opinions of me, like what I'm wearing etc and she knows that, so she doesn't. I think she is more accepting and believes in tolerance and more in touch with her feelings side than the other ISTjs I've met. She's pretty awesome. Sometimes we have slight problems because she needs to follow plans and likes routine a lot but I am very very spontaneous and random and I absolutely hate routine and when things aren't going as planed she has a tendency to keep complaining throughout our adventures which I learned to tune out so its all good  lol. I had met another ISTj and we got along really well at first but then we didnt. So my advice would be to just pay attention to what he likes and dont like and avoid pressing his buttons and if possible tell him why you did and do what you did and do since they need explanations for almost everything lol. Most times my friend criticizes things she hears and sees because she just wants someone to tell her why would someone say that or do that because it needs to make sense to her. -- Anonymous |
| A9 @A4: why on earth would being an ISTj chip away at your self esteem? ISTj's are some of my favorite people in the universe. as to the OP: learn to read the little things he does for you. -- ENTp |
| A10 I'm going to be the blunt intj that I am and just say, sounds like a waste of effort, enfps are probably some of the funnest people to be around and istjs are the most boring, if you do spend time with your brother you'll just end up bored. -- intj123 |
| A11 My younger brother is an ISTJ. I love him because hes calm and stable and one of the nicest people I know. Yes, we have little in common and conversation is a dead end most of the time. But I would choose his company over alot of really annoying people. Like my mother the ISFJ, we drive each other batty. -- ENFp |
| A12 Why can't you end relationships with your family? What to you is obviously wrong is, in truth, sometimes the best option. -- Anonymous |
| A13 A12- Why would ending relations with a family member a best option? Are you on crack? anyway.... I'd get involved with his hobbies. My dad is ISTj and he's REALLY into motorcycles and mechanical stuff. He bought this old El Camino as a fix-up project and I asked to help, and he was SOOO HAPPY, like happier than I've ever seen him in my life! It was really boring to me, but it helped us bond so it was worth it. What kind of things is he into? -- ENFp |
| A14 My sister (ENFp) and myself (ISTj) are close so it is possible. However, our relationship apparently comes off as distant or argumentative, which is true. We argue a lot, I probably argue more with her than every single person I have ever known combined; so much in fact that half our relationship is built on those arguments. Even when we're getting along, we're usually "play" arguing or I'm making some kind of sarcastic/teasing remark. I also dated an ENFP for a few months so while the relationship is possible, it is really difficult and requires work. My sister found it works best for us when she either waits for me to come to her to talk or that, when we do hang out, the two of us talk only a little over long stretches of silence while spending the silence watching movies or on the computer. When she does constantly chatter, then we usually end the time in an argument because she gets on my nerves with her flighty topics. -- ISTj |
| *Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com* |
Page 1 |
| Would you like to add anything? |
(When posting, we ask you to make the effort to qualify your opinions.)
|
|
