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Question #1221312241Saturday, 13-Sep-2008
Category: ENFp INFp ENFj Intertype Relations
hey! i'm an enfp female who is currently best friends with an infp female and dating a enfj guy. according to what i've read both of these relationships are doomed to fail... is there anything i can do to keep them healthy? thanks- -- Anonymous
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A1 From my observation, people who are personalitywise alike are more likely to hangout because of shared similar interests and they tend to get along better because it is easier to relate to them. This is a personal observation, the NF's like drama, art, philosophy or stories corresponding to relationships with people. The sp's are in sports, clubbing, concerts and drinking. The sj and sp tend to hangout more together, with the exception of (enfjs who tend to camouflage-you ain't fooling anyone). N types seem to communicate differently but they understand each other better than with sensors who are into the present moment. -- istp
A2 considering you have typed them and yourself correctly, to make it work long term wil require more effort, and give and take on both parties, and probably more independence for both. Of course it can work though, there's more to some relationships than getting on with each other. In regards to the enfp/infp - you two will get on better when just on your own rather than in company, and with the enfj, be prepared to have to be more organised than you would normally like -- Anonymous
A3 Absolutely not! according to http://typelogic.com/enfp.html infps and enfps are pals - some of the best and easiest to get along with. According to http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP_rel.html the enfp's natural partner is infj - the extrovert may get a little much, but that ain't bad, you actually have a lot in common! -- infp
A4 As an enfj female married to an enfp male - we should be failing miserably. But we are happy, just make sure you are committed and have similiar interests. Also if the enfj gets upset don't focus on making us happy and then carry on doing the same thing over again. It makes us mad. But other than that, we have a great relationship. -- Anonymous
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A5 My best friend is an infp and we get along well...=) -- Anonymous
A6 At A3: Those are MBTI sites. -- Anonymous
A7 those intertype relations are for romantic relationships and I'm guessing you and your friend aren't into eachother. But don't worry, any relationship can make it it just depends hue amount of time and effort you're willing to contribute. Intertype relations are just a warning on the obstacles to come. :] -- Anonymous
A8 hahaha "As an enfj female married to an enfp male - we should be failing miserably. But we are happy, just make sure you are committed and have similiar interests. Also if the enfj gets upset don't focus on making us happy and then carry on doing the same thing over again. It makes us mad. But other than that, we have a great relationship...." -that's what you call quasi-identical. He makes her mad, and then makes her happy, because he cares about her. ..But unfortunately, he goes back to being himself, which makes her mad... yeah, it "can work." A car with a flat tire "can work" too. Do you want to take it on a long distance road trip?.. enfj's are very good at "fake it till you make it." The problem with that, is ENFP's can tell every time they fake it, so together, it's extremely hard to "make it." But ironically, YOUR sincerity will be seen as flakiness, as you try your best to do what you feel is right. Your humor will be seen as an outward manifestation of that flakiness. As ENFP, life's purpose is the most important thing to you, and you fit everything, even hilarious experiences, etc into that big puzzle, always striving to learn something from everything. The ENFJ doesn't see that same picture. Your silliness, randomness is where their sensing and perceptions seem to stop, without going any deeper. In their eyes, all of us childish ENFP's are like pinball machines, on a crash course to nowhere, with an endless amount of energy to get us there at warp speed. As much as you talk, as hard as you try, and as much as you work things out and THINK they understand... tomorrow, your randomness and spontaneity will be looked at as an indication that you've given up on those resolves, and it's time for you to require more supervision from them, which only makes things 100 times worse, for both of you. You become a bouncy ball that they try desparately to keep on the ground. each attempt to pin you down, you spring farther away... ENFP's are living paradoxes in the eyes of ENFJs. Example: ENFP = Meaning of life is your driving force, and humor is an outward, emitted bi-product. ENFJ = Sees the humorous bi-product and thinks "wow, this ENFP has great potential, and extremely intelligent humor... Now if they only gave a crap about life and could commit to something IMPORTANT.... It's not a teeter totter ride you're in for. It's more like a teeter totter built on top of a merry-go-round, with a few loose screws at the axis. Both parties involved think the other can easily change, if they "cared enough about me....." because each one's weakness is the other's strength - and they have no idea why they'd continue to do goofy things that come so easily for the observer... You're in for a ride. -- gatorchaser
A9 You can't PROVE you are ENFP or that anyone else is any other type because there is no way to REALLY do so. So just live your life and listen to your own heart. Be around people you are legitimately attracted to. -- Wonderful Mr. Springberger
A10 I myself am an INFP, and my best friend is an ENFP. Often times I feel embarrassed by her dramatic actions, almost like I'm embarrassed for her. We can discuss everything though, and it seems that the underlying difference is what her passion pushes her to do. We may feel exactly the same about a critical circumstance, but she seems more likely to express an extreme emotion (depression, upset, enthralled) where my expressions are more laid back and mellow (accepting, casual). A balance has been created between us; one that we've both agreed is somehow creating a system of 'checks and balances'. -- (infp)
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