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Question #1219047461Monday, 18-Aug-2008
Category: ENFp ENFj ISTp
Enfp or Enfj??? When doing the initial fast track test I had a lot of trouble choosing between the p and j aspects. I went for p and I was pretty happy with the description of "The Reporter" Then one day I thought I might as well read what the other could have been. The description of "The Actor" (enfj) seems to suit me much better but there are still some bits missing, that are filled in by the Reporter (enfp) type. My boyfriend is an Istp (I'm pretty damn sure) and Enfp and Istp are a "Relations of Duality" couple and that's how I feel with him...all our friends say we are yin and yang. Now I'm thinking I'm an enfj is says that this pairing are a conflicting relationship. Considering I feel that enfj and enfp are pretty damn similar I dont see how this is possible but anyway....now I'm real confused!!! I wouldn't be so rash as to let this effect my relationship! lol...I feel very comfortable with him and I really love his aspects and personality, another reason i feel I must still be an Enfp. ....meh!?? What Am I!???!? -- Pennycat
Your Answers: 1+
A1 I think I can safely say that if you were ENFJ, your relationship would be extremely problematic at best. ENFJ and ENFP are really not all that similar. ENFP's hidden agenda is to know, which results in constant knowledge seeking behavior, but inevitably leaves them feeling like they don't know enough no matter how much they try. ENFJ's hidden agenda is to be wealthy, making them much more work and business oriented. ENFP's and ENFJ's are also members of different quadras and enjoy relationships with much different types. I am ENFP as well, and one way I know this is that I get a physical feeling of repulsion from just looking at the ISTJ's on the Types and Celebrities page. Most of the people I know feel repulsion from their conflicting partner upon simply viewing their photos! Hope this has helped. -- Ayahuasca
A2 I even last night took the extra test of choosing words that describe you and words that definately don't describe you and even that test wasn't sure whether I'm Enfj or Enfp (Though it was more leaning towards the Enfp) However much I connect with the personality description of the Enfj, what you say about hidden agendas is certainly not me - I definately seek knowledge...I'm not very businessy. I read the negative and positive aspects of both types and I agree more with the Enfp's both plus and minus but only Enfj's plus. Reading the descriptions of the ISTJ actually did make me wrinkle my nose - because I went through the process of trying to discover what my boyfriend was and getting it wrong a lot of the time, when I finally landed on ISTP I had a big smile on my face because it was definately a personality being described that I'm attracted to. I'll do what you indirectly suggest and go and have a peek at the celebrity photos and see what I think - thank you for your help! x -- Pennycat
A3 I agree with A1, and would like to add that ENFjs usually tend to be interested in theories that explain relationships, and they like to present their opinions about love, people and such Fe topics. They have no problems saying "I fell in love with that girl at once and I proposed to her two months later". ENFps don't make speeches about relationships generally, if they do, it's usually specific stories about specific relationships. They are also less open, they will tell you after a year's crush on someone "well, I kind of started to like this guy cause he was so calm and supportive". ENFps like calm, nice and supportive people, ENFjs like strong-willed and a bit mysterious people. ENFjs need to understand the world and explain it to others, ENFps want to live in harmony with it and explore new possibilities. -- ESFp
A4 Well put A3. -- Ayahuasca
A5 well, i also do not know im either an ENFP or ENFJ. First of all, i always liked to study, a lot. And I liked weird things like magic and satanism, pagan histories.Now i am catholic. Even though i was also a very good boy to my parents, and did things right. I do know I Can have strong feelings and i like to have some powerful ones, but its not common and i cant control it. Other thing i dont see in me as an ENFJ is that i do not feel i can control a lot of peoples. normally, i enjoy small groups conversation best. I think. I dont know. Could you give me some clues? -- Fernando
A6 Would a "J" be so conflicted? I vote ENFP. -- ISTPJim
A7 Answer 5 is funny lol. Sometimes I have very powerful feelings as well but i dont know if I like to have them... I guess I like the powerful positive feelings like love and happyness and funnyness but not negative ones like anger, sadness and hatred. I know I feel better after knowing how to direct all my emotional energy towards a healthy outlet. When I have feelings, I usually try to tell someone and thus let it out or do something with it... (I used to sometimes give cards or sweet little drawings to close friends without any occasion just like that but now I stopped.. not sure why) otherwise I feel upset.. and I have always believed letting it out is good for mental health which was confirmed by a study in my textbook I've read . Whenever I have negative feelings and sometimes have the urge to harm someone (emotionally or otherwise) my super-ego comes to the rescue and I make a conscious effort to calm down before actually cause harm to someone. I used to get more mad when I'm furious cause I wouldn't know what to do about my anger (Ive been told I have temper issues) but I started trying things like writing down why exactly I'm mad (or depressed) which makes me feel much better because it makes it clear in my mind what exactly caused me to feel mad and thus gives me a sense of control over myself and what I'm feeling and then I can know how to deal with it... like either talking about it with the person who caused it and telling her/him what I didn't like and why instead of holding a grudge or what am I going to do to make sure I don't go through that again. Although talking about it to that very person is easier said than done esp if the person isn't a very close friend or something. But writing it down helps nevertheless. Or venting. Having a sense of control is soo important - (an experiment was done in nursing homes in which 1 out of 2 randomly assigned groups was given a plant each in their rooms which would be watered etc by the nurse and group no. 2 were given a plant in their rooms each but they were asked to take care of it. Group no. 2 showed improvement in health and were more likely to live longer as compared to group no. 1). I believe that there is something to learn from every single mistake or that mistake would be wasted. Btw pennycat seems like an ENFp to me -- Anonymous
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A8 The focus you have in your vocabulary, the way you say things really shows that you're an ENFj. You seem to focus greatly on developments over time with ("Then one day I thought..."), and the biggest clue of shines in your quote: "all our friends say we are yin and yang." I myself am an ENFj, and I can quite compare to one of your other quotes: "now I'm real confused!!! I wouldn't be so rash as to let this effect my relationship!" (contemplating the meaning of the confusion you're experiencing, like how it could affect a relationship) that's just my two cents though -- An ENFj
A9 Still dont know which is my type. I really can imagine things and when i decide something, i always think about the other thing. I am horrible at deciding things. I do say a lot "Everything has a explanation". I really dont know LOL. I easily adapt to new situations, and i always think how the other will feel if or when i do something...¬¬ I also am proud of being inteligent and studying a lot, even though i am not the best to read lots of texts. Only books with good histories. -- Fernando
A10 If u have Fe, you're concerned about other people's feelings and if u're Ne you're concerned about understanding people and knowing people well. Whereas if u're Fi you're concerned about ur feelings (you wouldnt say something Very hurtful to others tho!) and if u're Ni, you use the meaning behind what people say to a big extent. ENFj's normally want to be affectionate and caring in a visual way, whereas ENFp's show they care by being interested in people and saying nice things:) [ENFj's hav Fe Ni and ENFp's hav Ne Fi. And they're quite different!!] -- ENFp
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