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Question #1218972421Sunday, 17-Aug-2008
Category: Dating Relationship INFp ESFp
This is intended for people who have been in or are currently in a semi-dual relationship, though any insight would be very appreciated. I'm an INFP, and I'm about 85% sure that the person I'm interested in is my semi-dual (ESFP) We're different, normally I feel so caught up in everything but it feels like he keeps me connected with the now and what's real, but at the same time I think we aspire for the same things, it's absolutely amazing. I realize that it wouldn't always be easy, and in fact we're going to stumble like all couples. Probably a lot. But it just adds to the passion for me (maybe I'm just being a helpless romantic, how INFPish of me) I'm guessing that communication is even more-so important in a semi-dual relationship than in other relationships, which could be especially difficult for me, the introvert. I want to believe that any two people could work together with effort and love, we're more than just four letters, everyone is unique. But there's almost certainly a truth behind it as well. What else could we do to make such a relationship work? I know you can't plan for everything, but what should I look out for? -- Anonymous
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Your Answers: 1+
A1 Well I'm an ESFp and personally, I am not interested in INFps, the difference of quadras is too strong. But you seem to me like you might be an INTp, you write "I'm just being a helpless romantic" but in fact you're being very realistic - the two INFps I know are much more idealistic. And they don't evaluate themselves "from aside" in this way, this seems pretty Ni-Se-Te to me. - Anyway, if the relationship works for you two, don't care about the "four letters". And what should you look out for? First, us ESFps are very moody, as you probably know, so the relationship requires a lot of patience on the partner's part. Second, when an ESFp is in love, s/he wants to see their partner very often, usually more often than their introverted counterpart plans, so that is another potential problematic area. Third, some ESFps have problems settling their values, but this doesn't seem to be the case of your ESFp. Fourth, we need a lot of praise, freedom and physical and psychological space for creativity. Teaching us to be organized in a Te or Fe way doesn't work at the beginning, but we are able to cope a bit after some time. And fifth, we like being considered an equivalent partner for discussions on cultural, scientific or spiritual topics. If this need isn't fulfilled, we don't notice, but if someone explicitly shows they don't take us like this, it can arouse extremely bitter feelings in us. - The ESFp-INFp specific problems could arise from both types being F, that is, concerned about people and relationships. - You might also be interested in the article on Romance styles at wikisocion.org - Small groups. - Well that's all I can think about at the moment but if you have more questions I'll be glad to help. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A2 "But you seem to me like you might be an INTp, you write "I'm just being a helpless romantic" but in fact you're being very realistic"... Can people please stop trying to type other people through their posts. I find this really annoying considering (1)you have never met the person, and (2)it is possible for someone to present information differently then would be expected of their type. Or, maybe you're extremely gifted and can type somebody completely by the smallest bit of information, while everyone else is a moron. -- annoyed
A3 1."First, us ESFps are very moody, as you probably know, so the relationship requires a lot of patience on the partner's part"- INFP are highly intuitive, meaning they understand others from their perspectives, and the most altruistic, so this isnt a problem.Unless esfp is being overly blatantly selfish and petulant on a constant basis, which from my experiene is usually the case unfortunately. 2."Second, when an ESFp is in love, s/he wants to see their partner very often, usually more often than their introverted counterpart plans", you are joking right??? INFP are the king romantics of mbti, most romantic and most emotional, no type loves more than the infp, the problem may be on the other end- esfp may be overwhelmed! btw im intp, i know both types well, and i usually see infp more loving and clingy towards esfp, and esfp more self-centered, whilst infp tolerates them for a while, until after enoughs enough,the infp turns estj militant, and disputes begin, which the infp refuses to lose. so one problem i can see is esfp's fiestyness locking horns with infps moralistic militancy which refuses to lose,other than that i see it working if infp stays in reality, and esfp stops living in the mirror(self-absorbed). -- intp
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