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16-25
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16-25
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| Question #1214125172 | Sunday, 22-Jun-2008 |
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I am an Entj of but 20 and I have an interesting question, mainly referring to the more negative aspects of an Entj. I have been experiencing a kind of "depression" for the last 2 years or there about, and I am avidly trying to find an answer. It seems to almost be a cycle, as in I will have 1 or 2 very good days where I will act according to type and be a happy productive individual, devising plans, organizing, etc, but also enjoying the benefits of a more balanced Entj like being intuitive to those around me and thier needs, being sensitive and understanding, getting plenty of rest and finding pleasure in the simple things in life. These times are always wonderful and feel "normal". But without fail they are always followed by a down period of 3 to 4 days of depression, anxiety (with or without a concrete cause), emotional pain almost as prominent as physical pain, high high degrees of stress, no desire to eat, no desire to sleep, and no joy in hobbies or personal interests. These periods are characterized by a huge feeling of being out of control of my life (which is the most disturbing part about it all) and is the source of feelings of hopelessness and despair of never getting anywhere regardless of my natural abilities and general proficiency at life. I react to these periods according to type with massive amounts of situational and self-analysis. During the dark times I am thoroughly convinced that I am the problem and am in need of being dramatically changed or fixed to be "ok". But when these periods clear, I feel confidant in myself again and find that all the negative situations I was reacting to and feeling stressed about and all the analyzation seems to point to the situations around me as the problems and sources of my stress. Being responsible for yourself and your feelings and behaviors is a principal I strongly hold but after every occurance of these "down times" I come out realizing more and more that it may be a possibility that these periods are just my heart trying to tell me that I am in the wrong place and with the wrong crowd of people. For the last two years I have been attending a Christian Bible Training Course, which as far as religious organizations go is much more liberated in their doctrine and freely encourage people into discovering who you really are as a person. As a matter of fact they are the reason I even learned about Typology and discovered I was an Entj. However there is still plenty of religious/traditional/ritualistic qualities that as an Entj and somewhat intellectual I have a very very hard time basing my life on which of course, the church encourages you to do. I feel that maybe the lack of complexity, or just the oversimplified nature of the church is stifling to me. I also live with 4 other guys in an apt, we all went to the same Bible school together and go to the same church but they are all strong F or S types and I have a hard time getting along with any of them. Ok, the final piece of the puzzle. My parents went through a divorce when I was around 5 years old, and I have had no contact with my father for the last 14 years. I had no step dad and after the divorce my mother just focused on us kids and hasn't had a relationship since so I know that psychologically I suffer from some abandonment issues and mistrust and like to keep to people more or less at arms length. So my question is am I surrounded by lots of well meaning loving people who are just challenging me to be more open and trusting of a community and the fits of depression is me working through these issues internally? Or am I just incompatible with the environment I am in and am making it harder on myself to heal by submitting myself to it and expecting myself to fit in? Or is this just completely normal for Entj's to deal with these cycles and strong, un-manageable emotions? Thanks for reading, Entj-OR  -- Entj-OR |
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| A1 Well, professional help is definitely recommended, so I cannot answer that part of your post. But, I would suggest that the 'j' preference tends to manifest itself as a need for control, and I realize that I become seriously irritated when someone else tries to control me but then I have to admit that my reactions to the person and approach to life are based on wanting to have control (I am 'j' as well). So would you benefit from considering if a 'p' reaction to some of the events you experience (someone is late for a meeting with you, friends change plans at the last minute, boss tells you one thing and then later tells you that he expected something else)? -- econdude |
| A2 Hey bro, I'm a 20 year old ENTJ experiencing something somewhat similar. I just search ENTJ Advice and your post happened to be the top of the list on google. Your the same age and it's so recent to, June 22nd. Give me a shout at untouchable67@gmail.com I could probably give you some advice and I'm sure you could help me a bit as well. -- Anonymous |
| A3 Yo ENTj-OR. What you describe definitely doesn't sound like 'completely normal' behaviour, ENTj or otherwise. Sounds like you are having a hard time reconciling aspects of your environment (the expectation of your Christian posse, your roommates) with your internal belief system, and also have some unresolved issues related to your past. I somehow dun think a message board will provide all the answers to your woes. I would suggest talking to a counsellor, or psychologist. Re. your mentioning of the 'oversimplified' and 'stifling' nature of the Church, have you ever looked into atheism? I'm not attacking Christianity btw, just think you should consider other belief systems if Christianity isn't working for you. I imagine Christianity (or any Judaeo-Christian belief system for that matter) would be difficult for an NT-type to follow. Personally, I don't find there are sufficient reasons (personal or rational) to believe that there is a God, in the Western sense of the word. ALthough I can't say much ab/ Eastern religions as I don't know much ab/ them. One of my big grumps ab/ Christianity is that ppl are motivated to be nice to one another for ultimately selfish/banal reasons - i.e. to get into heaven, or b/c it says so in some book written several thousand yrs ago. When i'm around Christians, i can't help but wonder, 'Are you being nice to me b/c you actually like me for who I am, or b/c you're 'supposed to according to the Bible'?' -- the Shez INFP |
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| A4 Hi, I am an ENTj, 20 years old. The same problems had gone through me. I used and still am to a very certain extent have those depression symptoms. My life was full of emotional and physical abuse, and this made me into a very twisted angry person. My advice would be for you to go to emofree.com. I have been using the help of a professional EFT therapist and I had been working on my issues for some time now. My original point is that, you seemed to already point to the problems that require help, the parental abandonement issue... and I would suggest strongly to EFT on it. My issues were horrible events when I was beaten up, or shouted at for simple things. I still feel many of the ENTj stress symptoms, but they have become less powerful every day thanks to the therapy. Bless this world. Everybody deserves a break. -- ornob912 |
| A5 Similar situation here as well, 24/m ENTJ, abandonment issues, bouts of depression, at odds with god, etc... I'm no shrink by any means and infact any attempt at seeking professional help was futile. The therapy system is not designed to work well with ENTJs. Not that it doesnt work but i think giving how we are, any attempt to seek professional help was useless and fustrating. But here is a little bit of advice: We ENTJ's like to start thingsm be in charge of them and then complete things. I think the depression stems from our inability at times to truly take advantage of our strong suits. To assimilate, lead, attain knowledge and use this knowledge to complete things. (http://www.personalitypage.com/ENTJ.html) I noticed that I was able to overcome these bouts of depression when I was working towards something, anything, finishing them, creating closure. I took up running and it has been more therapeutic than any one on one therapy session. Ironic I know because we like to think through our problems outwardly, but i think it allows us time to take in what we see and hear and figure it out with our intuition while attaining a goal we set out (in the case of running, finishing a run). I always noticed that the depression went away because I was completing a goal I set out to do which then bled into a more natural work of extroverted thinking and using conversation as my muse. As for the issues with religion, I think that if you think of God as a collective unconscience or the unconscience of everyone in your community, whether that be small like your family or large, humankind then I think that intuitive thinkers can better wrap their heads around this dogmatic religion stuff that doesn't bode well with us. For instance, if were to replace God with collective unconscious in most contexts you can begin to see that maybe religion is nothing more than an attempt to get everyone on the same level for mutual existence. In fact if you get a chance I recommend getting your hands on a book called, "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, a therapist from about 25 years ago. Now its quite a popular written piece and would recommend it to all ENTJs. Peck speaks about spiritual growth and taps into this idea of conscious and unconsciousness. He even goes as far as to say that our unconsciousness comes out in our dreams and that depression in our lives is nothing more than a rift between what we do consciously and what our unconscious wants us to do. So as ENTJ's we should listen to our dreams (not in a literal sense i.e. throw our beds out our bedroom window and ride it while looking down at a purposely staged scene of the Easter Bunny and Santa arguing over the rules of four square, but maybe look at our dreams as the things in them having a meaning behind them, like in our example, maybe your unconscious is telling you to get out of your comfort zone and quite being so inactive while two things in your life are arguing below you) As for the extreme unmanageable emotions, check out this site and scroll down to the bottom: http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/myers-briggs/entj.htm look at the part that talks about extremely stressed ENTJs. Maybe that is the situation for you, your shadow is coming out in the form of negative ISFP traits. That site I just listed is pretty informative as well. So I guess in summation. As an ENTJ you will seek out truth. And this truth will help you solve these problems for you. I know I may have actually created more questions for you than answers but I hope I have incited a few places to start helping yourself. -- Anonymous |
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