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Question #1212269769Saturday, 31-May-2008
Category: INTp ISFj Dating
Do any INTp's have experience dating ISFj's? A quick google seach shows a couple of bitter stories...but I really like this girl. What are the best ways to get her attention? We're both friends, and have known each other for a while...it's just never went past that. The only complication is that for right now, it's long distance...kinda iffy. Thanks. -- anon
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Heh... I'm an ISFp who's ALMOST an ISFj, and I'm dating an INTp right now. We were doing long distance a month or so into it and it's been about a year now... frankly, the fact that we "made it" surprised both of us a little. But anyway... the best advice I can give is to make her feel special. I know that sounds really cliche, but INTps are hard to get to know and treating her noticeably different would be a HUGE help. I know that got my boyfriend and I through our early stages- me realizing how introverted and logical he was naturally, but that he was making an effort to open up to JUST ME and kind of ignored logic in the process. And that's sometimes I think an IxFx would notice and appreciate. -- Lena
A2 I would just add two other bitter stories to your stock, both times the relationship was ended by the INTp. But that does not mean yours is doomed to failure. And there is also the possibility you have mistyped her or yourself. -- ESFp
A3 Yeah dude, ISFJs and INTPs can be fun, but generally don't work out in the long run. Just aren't on the same wave length. -- Anonymous
A4 I think any type relationship can work. I think the hardest relationships are the ones that are the same types (like an INTP + INTP). I've noticed that almost all the INTPs I know have been drawn to SFJ types. Maybe it's because SFJs are so concrete in their relationships. They like certain tangible things in relationships, so it gives INTPs concrete guidelines in what they need to do to keep the SFJ happy. INTPs can be sort of lost in emotional/relational areas. It's like SFJs provide a concrete road-map of how to please them, and keep the relationship happy. WARNING: The downside of what I've seen in these relationships is that the SFJs can get very critical of the INTP because they don't 'get' normal relational things, and the SFJs see the INTP as either clueless, and impractical or that they simply don't care. The INTP after a while finds that although they enjoy the emotional honesty of SFJs, they truly do not have a mental or intellectual connection, so the relationship starts to feel empty for the INTP. So there are good and bad things... but it can definitely work if you really want it to. Good luck! -- Anonymous
A5 The probably is that INTps don't take anything seriously and ISFjs take EVERYTHING seriously. -- Anonymous
A6 I'm an isfj and my boyfriend is an intp. I'm not going to lie. All the problems menchoned are spot on but if you both want to make it work and recognise these problems and understand how to overcome them it cna work out. I think we've got a really passionate relationship. the attraction is intense and when things are good theyre really good but when theyre bad, they're really bad. We've been together for 5 years though and are both very very happy. We just learn to laugh at ourselves. -- Anonymous
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A7 hey A5 us intp's do to take things seriously as long as we believe it is worth the caring for. -- INTP
A8 I'm an intp and I dated an isfj guy. I didn't take the relationship seriously and hurt him badly. He knew I was a fool but tried so hard to believe in me. In the end he was hurt very badly and I worry he will now have trust issues. I apologized to him three years later and I think t only made it worse. I would say intps should stay away from isfjs unless the goal is marriage. You will hurt them -- Anonymous!!
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