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Question #1212241135Saturday, 31-May-2008
Category: INFp INFj Intertype Relations Relationship
INFp's and INFj's - how do they get along? I want to hear what y'all have to say. And please ppl, try to be objective. In socionics, the r'ship is classified as 'Quasi-Identical' and a 'relationship of misunderstanding'. Theoretically, they're not supposed to get along. But this is counter to my experience. I'm an INFp and one of my best friends is an INFj. While we disagree on trivial things (like what constitutes good art), we both value each other's insights. In fact I'm glad that there's a bit of friction b/c i think it pushes both parties to grow as individuals. Actually, i've noticed that a disproportionate majority of my close friends are INFj's. This may be b/c I'm not a prototypical INFp. Also, do y'all think that an INFj-INFp romantic style relationship could ever work? -- the Shez
Your Answers: 1+ 8+ 13+
A1 Hey Shez-not sure if u'll be interested in this but have you ever watched the X-files? This is a great example of an INFJ and INFP relationship as Agent Mulder (David Duchovny) is INFJ and Agent Scully (Gillian Anderson) is INFP. -- Doug
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A2 i'm an infp and i've about 2 close infj friends. if you ask me i don't really agree with the quasi-identical thingy, because we seem to get along fine, although in both cases there was a period where we fell out and i didn't talk to them for a couple of weeks. but now we're pretty close. however i agree that infjs really have a thinking style that's completely different. i know i've spent like 2 hours arguing philosophy with them and in the end nothing was resolved anyway. =.=" -- Anonymous
A3 Depending on whose VI you follow (I don't necessarily agree or disagree with any), I believe the two may be duals in real life (Duchovny INFj-Anderson ESTj). -- econdude
A4 I'm an infj girl, one of my best friends was an infp. I know two other infps. I love them both dearly in their own way, although i cant imagine having a relationship with them, simply because their "p" irritates me. Oddly, I dont particularly like infp girls -- Anonymous
A5 I'm an INFj - and I'll suggest that one of the reasons that INFps and INFjs may "get along nicely" is because they're both afraid of conflict (for different reasons) and so tend to smooth over some of the rough edges in a relationship and defend the niche of their dominant function - and in my experience, both types subtly actually find the other to be inferior in terms of depth (and so 'tolerate' the other rather than truly accept them). When, however, you are *STUCK* with an INFp (if you're an INFj) or INFj (if you're an INFp), then you'll almost certainly find problems to emerge quickly because there's really no mental places to hide after a while. -- Anonymous
A6 Hmm, never noticed that Scully-Mulder dynamic was INFp-INFj. hehe, i think the r'ship works b/c they're both open-minded enough to accept that neither will fully understand the other. to use a cliche, they 'agree to disagree'. plus david duchovny is so fine, how could u not like him?! Ah A5, what u say is so true, so true...and as such, kinda depressing. i really admire INFj's for their strength, their sensitivity and considerateness, social conscience, reliability, trustworthiness, foresight, selfless generosity, ppl-handling skills, diverse skill set, i could go on as they have so much going for them, but i'll stop there. but yeh, there are a few things that irritate me...their squeemishness, their narrow and rigid artistic sensibility, their dismissiveness of ppl whom they can't understand or who aren't enuf like them (even the INFj's empathy has its boundaries), their reticence, their fear of experimentation, their some-time obsessiveness w unimportant details. Altho, i feel that these qualities i could come to grow used to and accept as w some other INFj qualities i've come to appreciate - INFj habitualism, rigid moral standards, cleanliness, tact, what i used to see as 'over-politeness-bordering-on-condecension'. if one allows oneself to step out of one's own value system, one finds INFj's to be anything but 'inferior'. but i wonder, is this something the rigid INFj could do for the INFp? it seems to me both parties have a lot to learn, and gain, from opening their hearts and minds to the other. i've rather fancied seeing myself eventually w an INFJ partner. i like to think that so long as they're not a really strong J, it could work. -- Anonymous
A7 One of the closest friends I've ever had is an INFJ. What I really, really appreciate in her is her empathy and her willingness to listen to me. Still there has always been some sort of a tension between us, and often I have felt a lack of understanding and communication. Her company sometimes wears me down and I have to go a few days without seeing her. But at times we have so much fun together! I could not see myself with an INFJ partner though. I would like to be understood, and, from my experience, with an INFJ, that is not likely to happen. :/ -- INFP
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