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Question #1208684385Sunday, 20-Apr-2008
Category: Intertype Relations
what are your experiences like with your mirror? I (infj) have a great relationship with my mirror. Very unlike what the socionics description of what our relationship would be like. -- cecilia
Your Answers: 1+
A1 Perhaps things have not became deep enough for the different slants you have to materialise. -- Anonymous
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A2 If you have a great relationship with your mirror, how does this contradict the socionics description? -- Anonymous
A3 Partial socionics description of mirror relationships: "The main discomfort in these relations is caused by the difference in Judgement and Perception between the partners. Mirror partners generally agree about setting near future goals, but disagree about global aims. Mirror relations usually lack warm atmosphere between partners." While my friend and I tend to 'bicker' at times (actually we started off in our friendship doing that all the time) because we both have different pts of views, as socionics says. The "bickering" kind of energized us; It kept our brains moving. And somehow we would always go back for more. Yet despite the differences in our thought processes, there is always a warm atmosphere between us because we both realize that we love each other and our differences complete a whole. Does that make sense? Plus even though we are in different places our lives, it seems as though our global aims (or what we hope to accomplish) are very similar. -- Cecilia
A4 A3: That's a mirror relationship. It does make sense! -- Anonymous
A5 A4: but I thought, according to the description, mirror relationships are NOT supposed to have a warm atmosphere between each other because of their differences in perception. hmmm...that's why i was wondering what kind of relationship you're supposed to have with your mirror -- Anonymous
A6 They're ok sometimes. Way Bob sees it. It that they're like you..you realise it pretty much straight away. But differences start to show because one lives the 'j' rhythm and one lives the 'p' rhythm so you both different. But in a world full of opposing types and that, someone who's kinda similar to you, even though you live life to a different rhythm, is ok..well, ok, even although they should try to be even more like me of course. -- Bob
A7 haha...that's true..but then I'm confused, if "opposing" types arent supposed to get along as well. Why are we supposed to get along so well with our dual? Who has more letters that are different... -- Cecilia
A8 A7 it's the rhythm thing again. Because you and your dual are either both j types or p types, you live life in the same type of way so there's no stress that way with the j seeing the p too disorganised, the p seeing the j as too rigid etc. So the other 'letters' naturally support your weaknesses, and your natural strengths support their weaknesses. So it's like the person you both want around, maybe even would want to be, and you both live life in the same sort of fashion. Well, that's the shorthand version. I only told you incase your hot. I like duals, I also like hot duals, and I also like hot girls who aren't my duals. The middle one's even better though. -- Bob
A9 I made a comment on another post about my experience with my ENFP mom and a best friend from highschool, to sum it up, I think you need to actually live with an ENFP (I'm also INFJ) to see why a romantic relationship with one would be frustrating. ENFP's are can be very compulsive and lack the seriousness/responsibleness and safety our dual ESTJ provides. Both being Infantile it becomes evident, again, this is if you've become close to the ENFP, that you're both trying to get the other to be the Caregiver ST, which can be irritating. All in all, mirror relationships are pleasant and can be quite fun, but I wouldn't recommend them for romantic relationships as they're rather un-fulfilling -- Anonymous
A10 Mirror relationships may vary from cold to warm, IMO. It depends on hobbies, opinions and so on. I have an ISFj friend whom I have known for many years and it took us a long time to get used to each other, but now we are very good friends who really care for each other and speak in similar ways. And the relationship certainly does not lack warm atmosphere. But its perhaps because we cope with our j-p difference by pretending to "quarrel" and making fun of each other. And also perhaps because we both have Fi and Se, that is, we are quite tolerant. In fact, the relationship sometimes seems to me warmer than with most of my duals, but that might be due to the fact that my father is an ISFj, too, and for a long time I thought I was an ISFj myself. -- ESFp
A11 I agree with A9, except I would reccomend not only 'not having a relationship with one' but also 'never living with one'. My Mom is my mirror, and we get along great- as long as we're not living under the same roof. We've learned to both compromise when I'm home for the summer, but it's still extremely stressful. The J/P rhythm really messes us up. I'm also currently living with a roommate of the same type, and although we get along acceptably well, it's obvious that living toegther has kind of ruined whatever friendship we'd had. Mirrors make great acquaintances, and CAN make good close friends if you're both conscious of each other, just proceed with warning and don't like with one! -- Lena, ISFp
A12 I've always felt that even if you're good friends with someone, for some reason after you live with them, they suddenly dont become as close to you anymore. But I always felt that its because when you're at home, you dont feel the need to go out of your way to accomodate someone or talk to someone and so you drift off with your friend. I never thought it really had anything to do with what type your roommate was. Am I wrong? -- infj
A13 in this case (intertype relation) maybe the strength of each function affects greatly, especially j/p. also personality type eg some types more independent eg enfp,and dont want to just be "ST" caregiver, but eg esfj mirror relation would be much better in this regard ?? -- Anonymous
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