| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1207383326 | Saturday, 5-Apr-2008 |
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| what is the likelihood that an enfp would commit and stay loyal to a friendship? how about a relationship? and how did you arrive at your answer? -- emma |
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| A1 I'm an enfp, and I've demanded quite a strong cmmitment from my friends. If I start to trust a person to be a real friend, it's forever or not a real friend at all, only an acquaintance. -- Maria |
| A2 good at frienships, i find their Fi causes them to form statid moral bonds, not so good at relationships, unless it's the right one, which is fine by me -- istp |
| A3 Yeah, from what I've understood, ENFps are loyal friends. That's based on what I've read on the internet -- Anonymous |
| A4 On second thoughts, could someone define loyalty for me, to make sure i'm talking about same thing, thanks -- Cyclops & A2 |
| A5 dictionary definition of loyalty: "commitment: the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action"...that was the best definition I could find when I referring to loyalty in my question -- emma |
A6 A5, cool  I guess then that their Ne could make them want to wonder off. Good thing their dual is so hard to work out and like their own space..will keep the ENFp interested! I still think they'd make reasonably loyal friends, due to their Fi and also friendships not as intense as relationships. -- A4 (not the sheet of paper) |
| A7 A6, just out curiosity, why would their Ne make them wonder in a relationship but not in a friendship? Loyalty is a "moral bond" of Fi in both cases, no? -- Anonymous |
| A8 A7, you could be right. I'm just basing it on what I know of the types and also what I've observed. Basically Ne concerns itself with whats new..it's always creating or looking for new things, it can get bored once it's got something figured out. The reason why I think they'd be more likely to stray with a partner is because most people only have one of them (i'm excluding polygamists and what have you ) So because only have one at a time then more likely to get 'bored' once figured out. It's not that they want to hurt, it's that the pastures new is interesting-relationship or otherwise for the Ne I think. Difference I think is you can have many friends but only one partner. -- A6 and A4 and that |
| A9 hmm...A8, what you're saying about having one partner makes a lot of sense. But correct me if i'm wrong. Given what you're saying, it is possible for an enfp to get bored with a friendship and care less about it once they've figured out their friend? So they can have many friends and is always in search for new ones? -- Anonymous |
| A10 Even though ENFps are very social, they only have a few close friends. As for the "other friends, they dont mean to be 'disloyal' to them, they're just not as close. I'm sure most ppl can relate to that on some level -- Anonymous |
| A11 enfps get along with everyone but class only few people as their "real" friends. to be their friend you need openess and honesty -- Anonymous |
| A12 As an enfp I can definitely have 'friends for life' but very few. Also, one of the top things that would turn me off a person or a friendship is being forced to commit, or being excessively relied upon. I can be loyal in my way, but not loyal to the standards some people expect. -- Lila |
| A13 I'm good friends with an ENTp and I've observed they remain in contact with former highschool and elementary friends. This particular ENTp had a long term relationship but they broke up because of 'distance', during this time they never were unfaithful, but they now are again in a long term relationship. This ENTp was very dutiful toward anyone they liked but frequently felt underappreciated and disappointed for all their efforts, giving them a split personality or emotional ambivalence. -- Anonymous |
| A14 Speaking from personal experience, ENFps have good social skills but they are incredibly fickle and they like to hurt people. Emotions are power for them so they like to make you think they like you, and then without explanation slam your emotions into the ground and crush them into powder with their boots. ISTps have really thick skins, and the ENFp-ISTp duality relationship has been described as one of "hateful comfort." -- oo ro |
| A15 oo ro, what you're describing is an ENFj and an ISTj - ENFj relation -- Anonymous |
| A16 ouch...that doesnt sound like the enfp I know. I know my friend who's an enfp likes to speak as if he likes to "hurt" people but I always call him on it and then eventually he admits that he probably couldnt do what he says -- Anonymous |
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| A17 "Emotions are power for them so they like to make you think they like you, and then without explanation slam your emotions into the ground and crush them into powder with their boots." LOL! I like the way that sounds. Its not true at all though. I'm and ENFP and I often find myself spread too thin and exhausted trying to be everywhere and please everybody. Sometimes I lay low for long periods of time to recoup but to others it may seem like I just stop comming around and stop caring. In reality I find that those that complain rarely pick up the phone to see how Im doing or seek me out. They are too wrapped up in their own world and their own problems. I dont like burdening people with my problems or periods when I dont feel well. -- Anonymous |
| A18 I'm an ENFp who can stay incredibly loyal and commited to my friendships, but not at relationships...I never get close to whoever I date and lose interest after two weeks. -- Anonymous |
| A19 what happens if you started dating one of your friends? would the commitment and loyalty cross over into your relationship given that you were friends to begin with? -- Anonymous |
| A20 I'm not sure. I never really date any friends that I'm really all that close to... -- Anonymous |
| A21 I'd like to give my 2 cents to people who would like to pursue us. i dont know if this is true for all enfp types. think a lot of it is general stuff that almost everyone would want. but oh well show us that you REALLY want us (by doing things like surprise visits or random texts & messages). not just sexually, but emotionally and intellectually. dont purposefully try to hurt us, we're quite the sensitive kind. if we unintentionally hurt you or did something wrong in your eyes, explain to us calmly. i swear we'll feel too horribly guilty and will try to never do it again if what we did hurt you or we are convinced that what we did was indeed wrong. when we are promised something (like coming to see us, or open expression of feelings) we cant help but expect it, so dont make us feel guilty and hurt if we mention it. don't hurt us everytime we want to know something from or about you. we'll feel very good if you make the effort of thinking about why you dont want to tell us and are honest to us. when we say 'i love you and care for you,' believe us. try to be honest to us and we'll try to do the same. when we tell you about our weaknesses, mistakes, bad experiences and things we're sensitive about, dont rub it in our faces. -- Anonymous |
| A22 I know a lot of ENFps who are in steady relationships and have been for awhile. They also have a tight-knit group of friends that they've been close to for awhile. -- ISFj |
| A23 A14 Might be right for SOME ENFps, but none of the ENFps I know (and trust me, i know plenty of them) like to make people think they like them if they don't and then crush their emotions. I have however observed only a couple of immature ENFps that tend to get closer with people to make them feel good about themselves and 'help' them with their life problems, and in that process the other person starts to like the ENFp a lot, while the ENFp remains unaware. Although after they become aware that they hurt instead of help people by doing this, they seem to stop. I am an ENFp too but for some reason i have always been hypersensitive to these situations and start keeping a distance from the first couple signs of them liking me. Unless of course if I like them as much as they do. I do like being very nice to people, and I have been told by very few people that I can come off as a flirt. Also, I know an ENFp friend who can be Very emotionally manipulative. She expresses enjoyment when she claims that she has the power to make some person she likes feel guilty. SHe seems to love that power AND misuse it. I HATE that. She is also known to make people hate someone she hates (by exaggerating something "bad" they have done and sometimes by even lying) when theyre not even bad people or did anything bad. I (and lot of my friends) used to fall for that first few times, but now none of us really do. She tries to bring people's mood down when she is in a bad mood. I usually find a loophole when she tries to do that to me (like by saying OH i g2g! lol). I absolutely hate emotional manipulation. and i frown upon it. However i (and my other ENFp friend) do playfully like to say things that are obviously emotionally manipulative, but i like to make sure they know that i'm not serious. If i feel like someone (or many people) are doing what i'm telling them to do or they think i'm right/smart/experienced enough for them to sort of 'follow' what i do or say when it comes to important things, it makes me Very uncomfortable... i guess its cause i sometimes tend to second guess myself, and i hate it when someone else has a bad experience or makes a not so good decision cause of me. I guess my point is that there are lot of variations of personality traits even in the same type. -- Anonymous |
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