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Question #1207129500Wednesday, 2-Apr-2008
Category: INFj ENFp Relationship Advice
what would an infj and enfp be like together? -- envision
Your Answers: 1+ 7+
A1 Both my mother and a close friend I had during highschool are ENFP. I find that it's a rather harmonious relationship but there's always a sense that there's something missing, that the other person has a lot of the same weaknesses as me and neither can really help the other with it, which leads to long periods of not knowing what to say to the other, which can be awkward at times. My only real complaints were that I found both my mother and friend rather irrational, getting into things without thinking of the consequences, such as when my mom goes shopping she'll buy more than she needs and eventually ends-up taking more things back than she keeps after realizing she never liked them in the first place. I also find they enjoy talking more than listening and will often interrupt you or butt-into conversations. Aside from that they're a lot of fun and their hearts are usually in the right place, though I wouldn't want to date one, not nearly serious enough to feel secure with -- Anonymous
A2 Long over due response but I'm sure this will help. I'm certain I'm either an INFP/J dating an ENFP. We have been in a "relationship" for three years. I put relationship in quotes because he does not like to label it as such. "Love transcends all boundaries" in his words. So what you say is completely right. Our relationship is a never-ending rollercoaster. My only stress is him, but again he is my greatest happiness. He is extremely irrational at times. Give you an example: he literally dropped his career, his classes, and his very important legal responsibilities to vacation in Cancun for a month (initially) because he couldn't take the pressure of his duties. For two days I couldn't even get him to realize the consequences of his actions, he wrote it off with anger and did not consider my feelings. I have forgiven him countless times because I believe he means well. He is a real loyal lover but has a big problem with telling the truth and talking about his feelings and fears. I do not know if this match is perfect because I don't feel like I grow with him as much as free myself and have fun. He knows exactly how to do things in the moment and make a bad day or just my bad temper turn into a happy smile. He does talk alot, and does tend to ignore my disappointment in him, especially now that he feels he should be allowed to live his life and make really bad mistakes. In turn, he's become supremely jealous of other guys I know. So he can be highly hypocritical too. Like you mentioned, security in the long-term would be an issue for me. I still can't count on him. I guess we're just attached because I have deep weaknesses that he can point out and he still thinks I can change his bad habits. However, he wants me for life, I just adore his unique personality. Personally, I feel strong enough to not depend on someone like he does. He has lots of insecurity but for the most part, it never shows through. I'm still waiting for honesty on his part and am aware that there are many fish in the sea. Hope that helps! PS He's a Leo. I'm curious if your friend and your mom are too. -- Anne
A3 A2: If he was willing to show his insecurities and feelings to you, do you feel that your relationship would be different? -- envision
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A4 INFJ/ENFP, we're pretty close, close enough to know we telepathically communicate with another, it could be silence for hours and we'd understand what is not said, we have a knack of just knowing what each of us are about to say or what we want, i as an ENFP have difficulty in expressing myself although it's easy enough to express and listen to how everyone else feels. i am pretty easygoing and do as i please without considering the consequences, my infj counterpart can forsee the aftermath I'm about to prevail however as an enfp i feel im more interested in the "experience" rather than the theory of what is to happen. i too am a leo enfp, dont exactly know what it means but experience tells me that i love the social scene, need to be amongst civilisation however in order to rejuvenate i could relax for days with my infj girly and sleep many days away locked in the room. i also do have a tendency to bring out unusual circumstances to the infj eye which she finds exciting yet sometimes too abstract that she feels i come across as unpredictable. my infj partner is my perfect confidant, she is my stability, and puts up with my lack of forethought, shes always there to do the monotonous chores i abhor ie paying bills, housechores, shopping for food, cooking and all that jazz, however i feel i do bring a breath of fresh air and excitement to our relationship surprising her with experiences neither she nor i have experienced before. call me the explorer or visionary, able to dream outside of what is real. she the realist, i the idealist. I also feel i do dissapoint and do stupid things which makes her impatient but i do like to look on the bright side of life and make jokes out of my errors of judgement. Getting back to the expressing feelings bit, i do have a difficult time expressing myself while my infj patiently awaits. i also do have commitment issues, she wants to move in together but i dont, yet i spend 5 days at her house. I love being with her but that extra step of making it real to be under one roof ****s me.infj's are beautiful people, so beautiful i want to commit yet am afraid of the possibility it could end therefore my lack of wanting to commit.opening up my feelings to anyone isnt easy, im more of a listener and wanting to get to know someone is much more enduring than talking about myself.i am NON judgmental which i believe helps my social networking, my infj is very judgemental to the point she only likes to stick with what or who she knows, if she doesnt like something thats it! not open to others points of view or other possibilities. if something doesnt suit her she doesnt want to know about it. these are some of the qualities i find fascinating many times, the challenge of trying to open her mind up to other things keeps our relationship alive. together experiencing and appreciating the same things in life is a bond we strongly have.Despite my countless errors and her stuck in the mud ways, we both value eachother, our families and friends, wanting to succeed together and wanting the best for eachother. -- live life to the fullest taking care of who you have
A5 I'm an INFJ, and I have to say, I feel completely unnerved just thinking about either of the ENFPs I've come to know. When I was in high school, there was an ENFP I would observe and who would loosely associate himself with my closer friends. This was before I knew about personality typing, and maybe it's that he is an NF, but I could sort of sense a similarity that me and him had. He had this aura about him that radiated intense wisdom, and he seemed to want to show people how much of a sage he was. Talking to him when I did I often got this feeling like he knew something I didn't. I think he sensed this and took advantage of it to feel dominating and would say things suggesting that there are things about him that I couldn't understand. Well, this was a pretty insecure part of my life, and looking back on him now, I've got a lot more perspective and understand that we were heading in very very different directions and that I really wasn't missing anything, just dominated by this very worldly and more experienced E that feasted on my insecurity. Looking at it now, he was no less fake, shallow, or animal than any number of other wild Sensors that were not able to cause insecurity in me whatsoever. Meeting another clearly less-healthy ENFP later put it into even greater perspective, showing me a person so frenzied and unstable that they need to surf around unsteadily on the validation of others, a person that can't think straight long enough to make a pragmatic decision and certainly without any ability to commit to anything. Talking to ENFPs to me almost feels futile, as though information of any kind is just a wave to be ridden out for whatever self-serving purpose until they crash. Yes, there is something unsound about ENFPs I've met, and many thoughts are simply tools to just launch them into some idiotic wild activity. I know I sound really negative, but this is my experience with ENFPs. Any ENFPs reading this who feel this is unjust or feel disrespected, I want to say that I believe that there are more healthy and stable ENFPs out there, but even so, at this point I can imagine that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable around them. I can imagine being only slightly less unnerved by a more stable ENFP. -- Hinsoog
A6 I am an INFJ married to an ENFP, and find that we coexist in domesticity quite beautifully, both having an idealistic streak that can make mundane activities rather wonderful. It is hard to agree on major goals like buying a house or getting married, as we are both a bit naive and can disagree on schedules and tasks. However, I have found that my seemingly freedom-loving ENFP husband, enjoys being married and having responsibilities, though he would never have believed that when we met. I have to really work very hard to convince him to go with me on certain matters, and sometimes I wish I could use that energy for the task in hand (he has an argument for everything). But we value each other very highly I think and have great chemistry. -- Anonymous
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