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Question #1204446523Sunday, 2-Mar-2008
Category: Duality
How many of you find that you are frequently unattracted to your duals? -- Anonymous
Your Answers: 1+ 29+
A1 Do you mean the ones of the same sex? Eww -- Anonymous
A2 Ignore A1, that is not what was meant by the question. I had a revelation - I may not be correct - but I typed (or someone did and I agree) David Letterman as an ENTj. Letterman has had Richard Simmons on the show many times. I was thinking that Richard is an ISFj...dum da dum dum DAAAAAAA If they are in fact duals look at what kind of relationship those two have - they hate each other, yet Richard keeps coming back on the show for more from Letterman. Theory and reality collide. Duality is fun to theorize about, but is it perhaps different in the real world? -- econdude
A3 A2 stating obvious: 1. are they typed correctly. 2. Do they hate each other or is it all for show for tv -it's called entertainment. 3. Just because your duals doesn't mean you will instantly get on-you may be psychologically compatible but have nothing in common. 4. It may look like they're not getting on to you, but i've seen relationships where two people enjoy arguing with each other and that is how they get on 5. These two people are of the same sex so A1 still stands. Any more revelations? -- Anonymous
A4 I'm rarely ever attracted to my duals...and no, I'm not typing wrong...this is simply where the theory is pretty flawed. -- Anonymous
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A5 A3: Yeah those are all valid points but I have to agree with A2's revelation even if his/her example might have been wrong. How often has dualty the theory held it's own in real life? So far, from the looks of it...not too often. -- Anonymous
A6 A4, your perception of the theory is flawed. You assume that duals should be automatically attracted to each other, why? -- Anonymous
A7 To tie in A4 and A5, long story short: the only study carried out that i'm aware of was by Augusta (although there may be more since), who created the socionic theory, and as part of her interests in general relations and psychology she interviewed hundreds of people in marriages. She started to notice a pattern that the most successful and happy marriages evolved around certain functions that she had studied that Jung had proposed. Turned out that statistically the happier and more successful marriages where those of duality..socionics was born. There's your actual RL statistical proof. Anything else you'd like me to educate you on? -- Anonymous
A8 In my (INFp) limited experience with ESTp types, yes, I am attracted to them. There is a sort of relaxedness between us that doesn't usually exist right away with other types. I do not know if this holds true for all relations of duality, but I have read about the INFp/ESTp combination working quite well. -- Anonymous
A9 @a7 umm how do you know that aushra had typed correctly those couples? you don't, and there is no ground to presume she could type just because she come up with socionics. yes you can call it *a* statistics not *the* statistics. -- Anonymous
A10 A9 now you are looking for holes that defy reasonable logic. If you spend a few hours interviewing someone then that is as good as it gets to ascertain someones type. It's not like you typing Lettermen on the TV, if you are Econdude lol. I'm not taking part in this thread anymore, you/it are retarded. -- Anonymous
A11 I am frequently unnactracted to my duals...sometimes even repuled by them. -- ISFp
A12 A3 - wow, you are very defensive! I'm reading your post as "blackboard socionics" - duals are psychologically compatible, QED. The theory is wonderful so never mind what goes on in the real world! I think Letterman and Simmons are duals, of course I may be wrong and I said so in A2. If they are in fact duals the last thing they are is "psychologically compatible" and I don't care if it's for the audience or not, they have the most dysfunctional relationship I've ever seen. Letterman abuses Simmons (to the point of threatening his safety - have you seen the Richard Simmons cooker that was rigged to explode in flames?) yet Simmons keeps coming back for more. -- econdude
A13 A12 if you don't believe in intertype relations then you don't believe in socionics. That IS socionics. It doesn't exist without intertype, so why are you posting on a socionic site when you do not believe in socionics. It's that simple. -- Anonymous
A14 A13 - so apparently is isn't okay to test and criticize the theory. At least I put my moniker on my posts, "Anonymous." -- econdude
A15 A14 I don't think you understand. Intertype is socionics. Your question should be 'is socionics an incorrect theory' or 'how many people think socionics is nonesense' -- Anonymous
A16 I am afraid I dont add into the number you are collecting, I have found myself being attracted to several types in my life, including my duals. Some duals I am attracted to and some not, though. As it has been stated somewhere on this site, the attraction depends on more than type: interests, social class, how much you are aware of who you are, etc. There is also a good article on this at socionics.us. -- Anonymous
A17 how can this not work...u walking u see your dual, here is someone immediately towards whom u physically attracted (cause thats at the lvel the signals are sent) _ here's not someone who if u an NT u use to intellectually interact..cause hey what, u are already the god of your domain u don't want useless information which short-circuits your flow .. here is someone who interacts sub-words by mere understanding -- @sirac
A18 SO IN SUMMARY: Socionics is a theory of COMPATABILITY, NOT ATTRACTION. Attraction depends on other factors while duals tend to be most compatable even if they are not attracted to each other. YES? AGREE? -- the poster of the question
Moderator's comment
Something like that.
A19 Now that you define what you mean by attraction, I suppose so, yes. -- Anonymous
A20 Actually reseach and studies have shown that people with closer or similar personality have a happy marriages than those that do not. -- Anonymous
A21 A15 - you are right, all of my responses contain the sentence "I do not believe in socionics nor do I believe in intertype relations - signed, econdude." I guess the bright side of this thread is that I now understand what duality is more thoroughly. With duals there exists an almost magical POTENTIAL - by no means is it guaranteed or often present. Which ties back in to my original post, I think Letterman and Simmons might be duals and their relationship seems to be a living hell between the two. So I've personally found and thought that I gave a good example, duals are often not attracted to each other and do not even necessarily get along. Also, to clarify a bit of your confusion A15, I did not post the original question and I do believe socionics consists of more than intertype relations (functions of each type, visual identification...?). -- econdude
A22 A21 yeah, VI is one way to recognise type. There is the functions and they can sort of be described imo, recently i've been working at looking at the functions as how they relate to their dual, working on the idea that the psyche is and the information elements are like one half of the picture, both sides complete each other. Some pieces like activation and to a point partial duality fit the other side better than other intertypes, but duality the best fit. Also the word attractive-can be misleading without a definition of it, as it could imply physical attraction, which is seperate from psychological attraction. In regards to the example you gave, perhaps you did type correctly, it sounds like they are both getting feedback on their weaker functions, even although to the outsider it looks like they don't get on. -- A15
A23 A18 Thank you for clearing this up in a simple way. I am an INTP and I am not physically attracted or romanticly attracted to my dual, ESFP, but we are compatible. I really enjoy there company but I could never live with them, they are too "up all the time" for me. I'm thinking an ESTP or ENFJ fits me better. Again Socionics is a science of sorts and with most sciences they evolve over time. The more we research the more we understand and things become clearer. i always enjoy anything that econdude has to say it always stimulates my thinking, even if I do not agree 100%. -- Firstlite
A24 Sometimes, to outsiders it might look as though i'm not getting on with a dual..but unless you can peer into my head, or I just tell you, then you won't know if your perception is flawed. Duality is also an opportunity for growth, so sometimes a dual couple arguing is just what's needed to get there -- Anonymous
A25 I agree with a24, this was my experience too. -- Anonymous
A26 Prior to really understanding Socionics I was very critical of its intertype relations theory and disliked my Dual immensely. I believe it's because I came off of Myers-Briggs and had been mistyping people. What I had thought was my Dual (ESTj) was actually my conflictor (ESTp) and Super-Ego (ISTj). When I figured that out I did realize that I have always been attracted to my Dual; it's not always instantaneous, but in the long run they have been some of the most comfortable people to be around. Of course there are ESTj's that I don't really like, but that's more to do with conflict of interests/values/ethics more than actual type, but I could say the same for every type, including my own. I do think if someone generally finds their Dual unattractive they have probably mistyped them or/and themselves. -- An INFj
A27 "It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable. Both positions usually belong to people who had a lack of Duality interaction during childhood. The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other." - From the Relations of Duality page. So are they attracted to each other? Somewhat, perhaps. But it doesn't sound like anything that's going to generate sparks. -- Kanerou
A28 Ah yes, duals, my dual is the ESFP, and while I imediatly get them, and they are good to have a around in a conflicting enviroment, If there is an attraction I am not quick to respond, I usually test them out to see just how seriouse they are. They are after all very charming individuals, I have watched an ESFP male charm both genders and women of every age. But often its just in the moment. Pherhaps this is the behavior of a more imature ESFP...This kind of behavoir doesn't exactly build trust in a relationship. -- INTP female
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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