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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1203813415 | Sunday, 24-Feb-2008 |
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| ENTps, would you mind describing the ways in which you are warm-hearted? Something I noticed was that many ISFps on this site said despite the fact that ENTps are supposed to be their duals they wouldn't consider a romantic relationship with one because many ENTps come off as cold/unfeeling/uncaring/inconsiderate. I suppose ENTps wouldn't win a prize for being warm or anything but at the same time I really don't think that all ENTps are cold and unfeeling. -- nachos |
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| A20 I am an ENTP. I'm going to law school. I don't feel that I am cold hearted. I am callous. My friends tell me the definition of ENTP fits me pretty well. I do analyze everything. I am attracted to anything new and I do become bored with people soon. The trick is in having redeemable qualities...like being funny, attractive and intelligent. -- Anonymous |
A21 I second A17's comments as a female ENTP! 100% correct. Especially about the whining part when not doing something about it. But I'll be there when things get rough.  -- M |
| A22 i'm an INTJ female and jumping on this post because we get the same cold-hearted reputation. i think many intj/p females are closet romantics. i come off as a serious, logical person, but in my personal life, i want someone who can tap into that hidden part of me. intj women are deeply loyal and affectionate, and we can be silly and playful too. we just need someone who makes us feel comfortable doing it. i've never had a successful relationship with another nt/st because they make me feel stupid for not acting in control at all times. the nt personality, more than any other i think, needs a partner who is the opposite. -- K |
A23 i am a entp female, i can show caring , affections , but i have to say , logic usually wins over feeling, and i can pick what really meaningful and sth positive to me and others. i tend to care crowd of ppl (global issues) instead of a small circle of close frds only. it's very easy to picture other's feelin , bcos the n function, so we have to protevt ourselves and others with our t function. as i hav to care for others, i'd choose to hear more instead of expressing, due to p function, hence ,i'd not as extrovert as es counterparts,rather introvert and lay back. and as a nt, my feelings is more complicated and delicated. we just know how vulneable our feelings are which i'd analogize as a soap bubble on the bubble makin stick. -- pal  |
| A24 A20 - I don't think callous individuals would be so eager to label themselves as callous. Your response smells sociopathic- perhaps you should investigate the phenomenon of sociopaths. -- Anonymous |
| A25 In my expeience as an entp I've found others to be cold and unfeeling. We are often called careless, sloppy, and unrealistic. Saying a T doesn't have feelings is like saying an F can't think. We also have fe which makes me very sensitive to others. I know I am even if I don't show it. I often have so many ideas (ne) I also have a hard time acting on them especialy finnishing (ti) And a need for aproval (fe) as far as sencing non existing. I took a cognitive funtion quiz and ni was where my is supposed to be. Add a oreceivers complete dislike of structure. It's hard when it's more accepted to be in the present hear and now. Success is based on results. Others seem more concerned with their preconcived feelings of how things should be, and don't even try to understand you. If I joke around when your upset it's only because we I hate to see peole sad because I feel it to. If I think someone is guilt tripping me I'll only show mt ti, but my fe is still there. No one likes to be used. Sorry if I offend anyone. I wasn't trying to, and I know not all types I described are like that. In my opinion it's just more accepted and expected. -- Kayla |
A26 Every Girlfriend I've had has said I'm so cold (hearted) at some point in the relationship. Logically, I don't want to feel any negativity. I cry when I'm happiest, I let that emotion run riot. When my friends tell me my other friends (some who I only met that night on a stag do) had been kicked out of a Russian nightclub in Tallin because they were defending me from an unprovoked attack, I cried. Then when those people asked me if I was ok, I cried, Then I cried when I thought how beautiful the whole experience was - that the world is so complex that people will fight for you even though they may not know you, or may not understand what had happened. a purely illogical feet of men. I didn't cry from the pain. I just logically talk myself out of any bad mood. As for Caring... I can't see my girlfriends (or friends or family) in a bad mood/sad/crying, it makes me sad and they are already sad so I feel logically they SHOULD want to feel happy (who doesn't!?) so I try to explain to them logically why they should be happy. Its how I care. Is this selfish? To others maybe. For instance, if they're upset over LOGICALLY nothing this will happen - or if they haven't explained to me why they should be LOGICALLY upset. If however I think they should LOGICALLY be upset or they explain to me why they should be LOGICALLY upset (and I agree), then I can show empathy, compassion and I will show them lots of it. They seem to FEEL that I'm cold hearted because I show no real negative emotion. However I am known to show negative emotion only when all other options to make my girlfriends happy have failed. I can only treat them how they treat me as a last attempt at showing them how they are acting (selfish!?) (although I am not feeling that negative emotion) Then comes the realisation that they don't LOVE me. If they loved me, they would not let me be sad, for the same reason that I would never want them to be in negative emotion. I am currently having amazing philosophical debates with my INFP girlfriend/friend depending on the day you speak to us. She seems to be able to bring the most logic out of me - probably because she is so unbelievably illogical to me. However, this in-turn causes her the most pain as I batter her belief system. But I believe she enjoys the drama, she likes to Feel the world and she seems to use negative feelings to intensify the positive ones. She is so smart that she seems not to be able to comprehend herself which intrigues me a lot. One of my first words to her (and this goes for all my girlfriends that I have persued) I think you know something about the world that I do not! And there lies the reasoning behind the attraction. I need to know what she knows to get a better understanding of life to be more logical. We should not really be together as we don't work, we live a life in two languages. Selfish to her is me not allowing her to feel emotion (negatively) (ME CARING) Love to her is the expectation that I should love her no matter what she does (HER BEING SELFISH) I could do this all day... we have discussed lots of these at length. so the point being is that we are (from my point of view) warm hearted. I'm not sure if any other types or any other ENTPs would agree. Also on a side note, I did a different test for an interview once. The job was for a maintenance representative. ie people called this person for help with there telecoms systems, mainly MD's shouting about their telephone systems going down - losing millions of pounds every hour etc etc.... The test was to identify if people were red (aggressive) yellow (creative) blue (analytical) green (caring)... I was a full on Green with midway yellow and blue results.... A green person is a caring person, I got the job, and could empathise completely with nearly all callers. I took hundreds of calls a day and could understand most peoples gripe. Then I used logic to calm and teach them the solution to their problem. The ones I couldn't understand were the ones who were overly aggressive (RED) and therefore illogical. A green person should never be with a red person (probably my girlfriends) a blue should never be with a yellow and vice versa...according to the test. (I can't remember what the test is called) As with all ENTPs.....but then what do I know!  -- JG |
| A27 Notice how most of the answers from ENTp sharing their experience of being perceived as cold, unfeeling, etc., are from women. Amazing that the world still can't deal with women who are visionary, outspoken, and rational. As a woman ENTp myslf, the most common complaint I used to get - from men in my personal life and, in the workplace, from women even more than men, is "harsh." Unfortunately, knowing one another's cognitive types doesn't make gender stereotypes go away. -- Anonymous |
| A28 haha wtff this page demonizes ENTPs SO badly it's hilarious. Yes, I CAN be manipulative and too direct at times but overall I'm a genuinely friendly and nice person. VERY few people would describe me negatively and even those are people who I had to put in their places because they crossed me. I care about others -especially 'weaker' people. Sooooooo I don't appreciate the over generalization of all ENTPs being fake nice for a personal gain. I think generally people hate that we're confident and direct. I sometimes don't have the patience for insecure people for this very reason. They over analyze things I do and assume I have a hidden motif but nah. -- Anonymous |
| A29 I think that the problem registering here is that people perceive us and then categorise us in a set but we are just so all over the place we like others are amalgam or intersection of sets w. we are warm fuzzy people and we are intune with other peoples feelings so much that its a hassel we empathize we people we can see things from there perspectives and empathize too but its like a dam of opinions and feelings and emotions; its a hassel and we like it to be light and frothy like foam so we tune out and let our empathy clog our thinking ; here we go wrong -- nish entp female |
| A30 As an ENTP myself I would say that kindness from me is rare and so that’s why people assume I’m cold. When you’re outside of my normal group I tend to take on a more egoistic and stoic stance rather than one of openness. I like to keep my walls up. But once your inside that wall then you get to see just how kind I can be. I know how to invest my time in the right people and I think that stands for us all. -- Benson Smith -ENTP |
| A31 A12, I'm an ENTP male in a profession where the dominant type is INFP (males and females.) It has been a slog from day one. INFPs love teamwork and [the appearance of] harmony, so much so that it seems little gets accomplished. I've spent years trying to make working with this irrational type a success-truly, nobody does passive-aggressive like an INFP-and my solution has been to find a niche where I can spend as little time in their group projects and meetings as possible. And when I need to get something done, I seek out the few ES-Js I can find. They may eschew conceptual theory and debate, but they're rational, practical, and sometimes quite strategic. If I never had to work closely with another INFP, I wouldn't complain. -- Anonymous |
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