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Question #1198891392Saturday, 29-Dec-2007
Category: INTp Love
Are INTps even CAPABLE of falling in love? And if so, are they capable of realizing it? -- Anon
Your Answers: 1+ 31+ 53+ 62+ 79+ 93+
A79 I would say, every Type is a human being before they are a Type and ecveryone is capable of love. And YES-INTPs DO fall in love. I would also argue that they feel intensely but may not be comfortable displaying their feelings until it's apparent that their partner feels as intensely. INTPs are perhaps more discriminating than other types due to the NT. In the landscape of LOVE I think that NT may indeed be a curse. Is there an ideal Type for the INTp? What Type is capable of offering the INTp the reassurance they seem to need before they can reveal their feelings? -- Anonymous
A80 lets be realistic: intPs sound more trouble than they're worth. -- Anonymous
A81 haha A80 maybe... or maybe being patient with them is worth it in the end. value is in the eye of the beholder too, you know? i think they should have the chance to love and be loved just as everyone else can be. besides, things that people work hard for are always worth and appear so much more than they were at first glance, no? -- intp female
A82 A81 haha, dunno is answer to your question - I'm too lazy to work for anything -- Anonymous
A83 A79: Us ESFps of course We are not Duals for nothing. We ESFps are good at getting INTps' hints and hints are often enough for us. We are so optimistic, self-confident and creative in the field of relationships and romance that someone similar to us would be an obtrusion rather than a complementary partner. A80: they are exactly that kind of trouble that doesn't seem as trouble to me, more as something that makes life kind of spicy. A81: I don't need to be patient with INTps, it's more like they need a lot of patience to survive my hot temper But they're usually innately patient so it's not so hard for them, at least I hope so... "I think they should have the chance to love and be loved just as everyone else can be." Yeah, I agree, and add that I don't see why INTps should be treated as a different species, after all, they're people. Well, of course for me they're special, and also in general they're different, like every type is different from the other types. For me, most of them are simply "normal people". -- Ezis (ESFp)
A84 I am INTP and I don't think I could "fall" in love. I see love as a decision, a responsibility, and basically a promise. Not a feeling. I can hate the man I am with one second and admire him the next. Being a female I think it's more important to show a man respect than some silly love/romance/whatever stuff. -- Jennifer
A85 I'm fairly certain love exists for all types from the MBTI, it's expression is heavily influenced by the type though try hugging them for longer than is usually proper if they relax into it, or get nervous, it means there's a reaction, you have to care to be uncomfortable, and you have to be okay with it to relax if they seem fairly indifferent (which can seem a bit like relaxation, and also like nervousness) then there's probably not a connection, although even then it might be an air maintained on purpose for those who say INTP's can't feel love, or love, all I can say is that my personal experiences, which are a form of priviledged knowledge (you can't experience them) prove you wrong without a doubt -- Anonymous
A86 sorry, I just thought of another thing, so I'll continue from my previous post (I'm the guy who talked about priviledged knowledge) to the best of my knowledge an INTP's form of love is caring about your well being, this may operate within their framework of logic and reason, however if the bond is strong enough they can even throw this out if necessary at times, while I'm comfortable sitting back and poking around at possibilities, even to the point in which at times, someone I care about is complaining about something, I'm telling them how to fix the problem so it doesn't exist, I might attribute blame to them even, but this must be viewed in the context of "giving the answer/solution to a problem, and the problem must be understood in the right context" love is a bit like an alternative drive, it can go alongside and even compete at times with the drive to classify things, or understand concepts, and even override it too, however don't expect this right away, because you can cultivate love and so on, it can grow, and shrink, whereas the other drive I just mentioned, tends to be reasonably constant (the drive, not the behaviour) when I was little, I swore I'd go berserk if wildlife attacked my dad (camping and day trips can be dangerous), because I was raised pretty much by my dad alone for a while after a fairly tumultuous life by the age of 5, I've always found that my motivation to fight for someone else if I care about them is usually higher than to fight for myself, for instance the emphasis on fighting is because I've done a lot of it, moreso than other people, and it defines my life a lot -- Anonymous
A87 I agree with A12 and A13 as their answers most identify with what I usually feel. I've been doing tons of personality tests and have always gotton intp. I am capable of loving people (especially my family) and am capable of infatuations as well. However, all the people I've ever been infatuated with never seem to know I like them, and I probably won't confide in many people about it neither except a really close friend here and there. I think I play out the whole scene in my head and forget that to love someone, I need the other person too and not my imagination alone. But I'll really prefer it if the other person makes the first move. Another thing would be I constantly worry if the guy I'm infatuated with is only using me or just playing with my feelings, and I worry if I tell him I like him, he'll laugh in my face? -- Anonymous
A88 Yes, and they know it, but they're not the "romance" type of person. Mostly they hide it, and if the subject is brought up they can feel very uncomfortable. They don't know what the other person will think or do if they reveal them selves, so they just keep it secret. I am an INTP female and I have been in love, but I have never, never revealed it. I don't want to be in a relationship either, what would just be awkward. -- Anonymous
A89 Maybe, although if you're not an INTP, I can guarantee that it won't be the same thing you feel. Love's different after all. Who can say what goes on in the head of someone else, and how could you compare feelings to see if they're the same? If you divide people up by gender, personality type, etc., then will you wind a niche of people who would all fall in love the same way, and be able to tell you if you are or not?... /\ l l This is what goes on in the head of an INTP, just reading this question. Love? Maybe after they get an answer. Try to help them figure it out? -- C. (INTP)
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A90 Of course they are!! I am an INTP and definitely have experienced love. Obviously expressing it is incredibly difficult and I only have only managed to do it with E-f types who have been able to draw it out of me. Oh and all the people talking about analysing/over analysing, most of my biggest relationship problems have stemmed from this, not being able to accept a situation (that i am perfectly happy with) and then analysing it to death until I do something stupid which seems logical at the time and then in hindsight I realise what a fool I have been. Sorry for the ramble, and be careful applying all that cold logic to feeling you don't properley understand!! -- Anonymous
A91 My best friend's boyfriend is INTP. He's always been a relationship guy with 3 serious relationships in the past 15 years ( he's 28) now. But it seems he's overanalyzed every relationship prior meeting my ESFP ( his dual) friend and that proved the relationship's downfall every time. WIth her, however, he competely opened up, as far as it's possible for an INTP and he can't imagine life wtihout her. He wants to marry her soon and is incredibly romantic at times. But only in a thoughful kind of way - like cooking dinner for her and putting up candles, or making a collage of all things meaninful they've shared together. She loves it and they are amazingly happy together. She also says he's great in bed, what might or might not be true. To me, though he's a really cold, unfeeling dude who smiles about once a month. ENFJ. -- Anonymous
A92 each time i've been in love, it has lasted 3-5 years, and i have never been in an actual relationship (beyond very good friendship) with any of them, even the ones i knew liked me back. -- ana
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