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Question #1198891392Saturday, 29-Dec-2007
Category: INTp Love
Are INTps even CAPABLE of falling in love? And if so, are they capable of realizing it? -- Anon
Your Answers: 1+ 31+ 53+ 62+ 79+ 93+
A1 yes very much..they realize it instantly. but all things being equal, i think the latency time per age maturity group is the same for everyone. who can say why INTPs don't act?..perhaps this is what u mean, can be many things, want of maturity...or what maturity actually means for the INTP...being capable of making a living with the tools of what their mind has grasped at. Falling back to the theoretical level of this question, can't be serious...can u? what mixture of evil do i have to contrive to convince you of your error. but it's not evil i have in me, the process of being an INTP, to come to that point where one can avail oneself of action...that is hard enough...and i wish there was enough evil and wickness in this world of that.. for we are children of this world (read Nietszche for my disclaimer on the word evil...try Zarathustra first) -- @sirac
A2 everybody's capable. =) -- ISFp
A3 I've fallen in love once, in almost 46 years alive. I didn't recognize it until it was too late, and she'd left. INTP -- Wendy
A4 Of course they do. And yes they do realize it. They just need help to assure themselves about the relationship. Afterall, they have (to love) as Hidden Agenda. -- Anonymous
A5 INTP's are capable of infatuation, crushes mostly, and they can last longer than most, and usually at a distance. As for falling in love in my case, we were very close, and I only figured it out when he broke my heart. He didn't leave, I did, as he only want's friendship. -- INTP
A6 Mostly certainly. I've witnessed this multiple times. -- Anonymous
A7 if an INTP seems incapable of love to you perhaps its because you are not indulging said INTP in the notion that love is something that can be continually discovered, analyzed, appreciated and proved true over and over yet each in a different and spectacular way- thriving on continuous and often incessant understanding; when something that's so inconceivable at times- such as love, in its many intricate and beautiful layers- is summoned to truth, it would be erroneous on all counts to presume not realizing is even an option. too obvious an answer anon to presume such simple explanation. -- R. intp.
A8 To sum up A7's point, they are not capable of love -- Anonymous
A9 INTP's dont act because they are not in the habit of making decisions base on feeling or emotion. Also if they are like myself they are uncertain of starting a relationship based on feeling or emotion since nearly all previous relationships werr base on intelligence. -- Anonymous
A10 A9, love is all about feeling and emotion. -- Anonymous
A11 Love is about sex and more sex -- Anonymous
A12 INTP's are very capable of falling in love...though I have yet to do it (which is okay because I'm only 16). I strongly identify with the INTP hidden agenda (to love), but my problem is that I insist on waiting for someone else to make the first move. I want love more than anything, but I'm also not willing to go after a cheap immitation of it. I have high standards, and it's just a matter of finding someone who I'm willing to give myself to (which could take forever, but I'm willing to wait). As for recognizing love, I would recognize it in an instant. I always know what's going on inside myself, and something as powerful as love would never be able to go unnoticed. -- CA (INTP)
A13 As A12 said, an INTP in love would instantly realise it. However as with most situations outside a debate, an INTP can be rather 'mysterious' or secretive about it at first. If they do find themselves in love, it can be quite intense to the INTP (though not necessarily apparent to others) and they are quite loyal and intimate partners. However because of the INTP's vivid imagination, reality can appear rather dull and uninteresting. -- Xeniph (INTP)
A14 A13 so they are more interested in idea than reality? -- Anonymous
A15 I'm an INTP. These claims like "off course the INTP can fall in love" and "they instantly realise it" just seem to me like trite and baseless reassurances. It's dependent on how you define love. INTPs are capable of love but probably not the unconditional everlasting romantic love in popularised in Hollywood movies. It's likely that such "love" doesn't exist, if only in the minds of love-sick puppydog teenagers and immature and delusional individuals. The INTP is much more discerning and will not believe in such things without minute and critical analysis. Agree that they take too long to act. The problem must be analysed, more information gathered and reananlysed over and over before a correct decision can be made -- GL
A16 Love can't be fully understood through analysis. No wonder so many INTps think it doesn't exist or are incapable of it. Just to be clear I'm talking about platonic love, not romantic love. -- Anonymous
A17 Of course love can be understood by analysis. Just read the Wikipedia article on it. -- Krig (INTj)
A18 read comments...found the phrase 'instantly know' quoted. did'ent know that i said that. but. the rough aside to people posing this question... has one not wondered why this question is posed. perhaps it is those who fall in love with INTPs which pose this question. ..well many things false. i see INTPs as falling most for those objects which seem father-ioust from their grasp. But in a rough ESFP world, maybe the thing of coming out and expressing stuff falls to-much as a normative expectancy. expressed by my mutual INTP friends. Now to defend myself within this group. in specific about the 'instant' phrase. as Perceptives (not J's) we form infatuations with things stimulating our attention in the perceptive world. every person for whom i have had an infatuation has been an 'instantly knowing thing'...but nothing normative...always something that instantly stands out to the attention. There have been many. Each late teen early 20's person has this stage...but with the natural gifting in faculty which INTPs poses.. a much heightened thing (intensity/policy making/time etc. bull**** and subject to the maturity of the individual to direct this force).. But at this more mature stage, i would even limit this process.. for those who stand afterward are even bigger giants. Sure, INTPs are crap with the relational process thing (@A3 in type answer), but in the perceptive world we are giants, and those ESFPs which do not short-circuit themselves are as BIG a GIANTS to. Respect as ali-g would say -- @sirac
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A19 A8 - ROFL. No seriously, that was funny. I believe what A7 said though. -- ENTj
A20 I am an INTP woman. Trust me, we are capable of loving and of falling in love. Just because it takes us a little longer (and a little more effort on the lover's part) for us to acknowledge it doesn't mean that we are incapable. sometimes...we just need more -- Sonni
A21 I too presumed 'to love' means romance, because the hidden agenda is vague, but I'm sure INTp's have family and friends and collegues and even themselves to love. I've noted this in another topic, ESFj's being 'perfect', duality is interdependence between socionic types, so an ESFp would bring the INTp's love into view for them to see. I've noticed that Extroverted feeling often expresses love outwardly, whereas introverted feeling often expresses love inwardly, the difference sounding like: "I Love you" with "you Love me". So with love as a common feeling, when extraverted, the expression sounds like a lover, whereas when introverted, the expression sounds like the beloved. -- Anonymous
A22 depends how you define love -- oo ro
A23 A22-you have (at least) 2 choices-look in the dictionary or consult A17 -- The man
A24 I'm INTP and I'm incapable of love. Romantic love, anyway. Sexual love also holds no appeal. As far as I'm concerned, it's a distraction from the way I want to be. I'm all for it with other people. Yes, keep the human race going. I'm not interested in indulging, though and have never even felt attracted to a girl. -- Anonymous
A25 A24: Have you seen "Some like it hot"? I advice you to be careful not to express this opinion in public, otherwise half of the girls around you will consider themselves just the right and only person capable of making you change it. -- ESFp
A26 I am a female INTp, and I have been in love twice. I fell hard for the first guy, but I ratinally understood that he was a completely inappropriate person for me. We were very close friends, and I knew him well enough to see that he was fundamentally fickle, selfish, and disloyal, so I held back. Rationally, I knew he was bad for me, but that was hard to reconcile with my emotions. The whole thing was a wrenching experience for me. Things have gone much better with the second guy (an ISTj incedentally). I have been with him for 6 years, and we seem to compliment each other very well. This may be a fluke though, because while we like many of the same things, we seem to like them for different reasons. What I think bonds us is that neither seems to mind that the other is a sarcastic asshole. As far as "knowing it's love right away" goes, I have a theory on that. I tend to dislike most people, and many people are offput by me. I think when it is harder for you to identify with others, when you find someone that you really 'click with, you: 1) notice it very quickly; 2) appreciate its significance more. -- fruits
A27 We tend to love with all we have, is just that all we have is not usually enough... -- REQR(INTP)
A28 Them ESFp duals they've got their work cut out for them so they have. Geez best of luck is all I can say. -- Anonymous
A29 Ah, we can fall in love - but sometimes we can spend too much time analyzing it (is this really love? would it be correct to take the first step? do I want a relationship where I will be expected to show my feelings for someone?) and some types might not think that what's going on deep in our heads can really be love, for if one does not go around with hearts bobbing around the head like some cartoon-figure you can't truly be in love... or? And then relationships with the 'wrong' (or whatever) type can turn out horrendous since we (or at least I and the INTp-s I know) can't really say the big words I LOVE YOU. I personally choke on them and am more likely to blurt out something like 'uh... I think I might be in love' after a long period of intense thinking about if I should say it or not - when it in a good relationship by that time is completely obvious. I can't say it and feel it at the same time either - it's too big. Dear lord, my plan was to write a couple of lines. Got a bit carried away there. -- Anonymous
A30 I'm an ISFJ female who was "in love" with an INTP guy on and off for about three-ish years. We were kind of friends and had a few "moments," but I was always waiting for him to make the first move and he never did. After everything we've been through together, I would have to respond with a big fat NO. -- Anonymous
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