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Question #1198802785Friday, 28-Dec-2007
Category: INTj IXTx women Relationship ENTp
Which type do INTJ females really prefer? I've heard ENTP and INTJ are recommended. Are F's just too feely? -- anonymous
Your Answers: 1+ 14+
A1 I am one of the rare INTJ females and here is my perspective: Guardians and Artisans are completely out of the selection line-up unless one knows at the outset that it will be a temporary arrangement. Guardians will try to suffocate and are threatened by the INTJs autonomy. They are also intimidated by us. Artisans are too shallow and promiscuious to be even considered for any close relationship. While NFs (Idealists) are supposed to be the "best" match, according to Kiersey, who is an INTP, I disagree because they can get way too emotiona, irrational and illogical. They do tolerate our intense technical discussions on matters of interest better than most. However there is absolutely nothing better than another Rational! Why? Because we totally "get" each other and are not offended by silly things that the other types get annoyed with, so one can be oneself. Also, NTs highly value intellect and need to be able to respect that in a partner and NTs have it. I believe that female INTJs are absolutely best with male ENTJs. I am drawn to the extrovert and I need the quick practical assessments that only XNTJs can do. XNTPs ponder way too much. I also think that the female I goes very nicely with the male E - very feminine and masculine mutually admiration.male or female, INTJs only respect and admire those who have earned/demonstrated it and are therefore worthy of the rare and precious jewels that are the INTJs labors - whether they be business/work related or of a more personal nature - which would include incredible devotion and loyalty from the strongest of wills possessed by INTJs (think of Lancelot deciding to follow King arthur). And ENTJs have the cognitive ability to recognize and appreciate the INTJs' gifts - recognition is all we need to.be happy. -- Anonymous
A2 @A1: EXCUSE ME! I am NOT shallow and promiscuous!!! FAR FROM IT!!! I can't speak for the other 3 types of artisans...but us ISFP/ISFps take life seriously...constantly thinking about the things in life that matter and how we can impact the world for the better! And we are VERY LOYAL! *angry expression turns to a contemplative one* But on a completely different note...with everything else you said I completely agree...it seems like us artisans need playmates...and rationals need mind mates...and guardians need help mates I suppose. And who is the best mind mate? Well a rational of course!...hmmm well I suppose some of the sensing thinkers out there have wonderful minds and very good logic but still. You know you supported my theory. The theory that feelers tend respect other feelers more easily and thinkers tend to respect other thinkers more easily. A person's mind/logical nature might impress me but it never gains respect points in my book...it's a good heart, honesty, and integrity that gain respect points in my book. I do actually respect a lot of thinkers out there but not so much for their minds. And visa versa...I know my illogical nature definitely doesn't gain any respect points from thinkers! (or at least the ones I know anyway) And of course this is all aside form the normal respect we all give each other simply for being human beings...that thinking/feeling theory has to do with respect that goes above and beyond. PS I was slightly offended by your remark but I forgive you. Besides who knows if you even believe that anyway! Maybe you were just over generalizing to make things simpler and easier to explain. OH! AND I doubt you were intentionally trying to be offensive also. To the person who posted this question: Sorry that most of the content of this was off topic but I had to respond! Good luck and I hope you get the answers to your question!! -- ISFP/ISFp
A3 @A2 - Actually, in socionics, ISTps are Artisans; ISFps are Peacemakers. I will admit that A1 posted uppercase J&Ps, so maybe he/she was referring to the MBTI types ... anyway, as an ISTp myself, I'll say that for my part, relationships come & go, so even though I always try to conduct myself respectably in the context of the current situation, I don't tend to get into deeply committed situations, and by now I've had quite a number of partners, so some types would definitely interpret me as shallow & promiscuous! Therefore, I don't have a problem with being called that in this context; I understand it's an oversimplification for the purposes of moving on to the next point, and I don't mistake their shorthand as something I should go within and judge myself over. ... I've said this before, but will reprise it here, that typologies such as socionics, MBTI, enneagram, etc are generalizations that should be used as tools for reflection. They can help us understand what's happening by suggesting interpretations, but ultimately reality will always hand you something that was unexpected, and ideally every self-aware being needs to come to his/her own conclusions which take the unique circumstances into account. In fact, A1's tale of liking ENTjs is a good example, because if you'll go to the Intertype Relations section, INTj/ENTj is classified as a Contrary Relation, and not recommended for deep relationships! A1 defied the theory with such sucess that she's ready to suggest a similar pairing for our current questioner, even as she talks about various relations in terms of the very system that also theorizes against her suggestion. We're all making it up as we go along, no? -- iAnnAu (ISTp)
A4 @A3 from A2: Well said! Here's my response: I'm positive that A1 was talking about the four different categories that the 16 MBTI types are placed in. Guardians (SJs), Artisans (SPs), Rationals (NTs), and Idealists (NFs). And about the oversimplification, I came to the same conclusion but if she's going to make statements like that without clarifying that is an oversimplification solely for the purpose of moving on to the next point then she's going to get reactions like mine. I know that most people are smart enough not to believe stereotypes but at the same time I don't know anyone that enjoys being stereotyped either! -- A2
A5 As far as my experience goes, for some mysterious reason, INTJ females are strictly divided into those who are attracted to INTJ males and those who are attracted to ESFPs. I made my personal "statistics" (it may not be objective, of course): I know several INTJ women who are quite happy in an INTJ-INTJ relationship, one INTJ woman who is very happy with an ESFP man, and two INTJ women who are not very happy in a relationship with INTJ men. A1: Please don't generalize, some MBTI Guardians are quite respectful of others' autonomy, as well as not all Artisans are shallow and promiscuous. I completely agree with A2, your post also makes me write in capitals I am NOT shallow and promiscuous! Really, far from that. I am bad at starting conversation on an abstract topic but I am always very glad when someone starts it and I can join them. You can already see from the number of ESFPs and ISFPs contributing to this site that there are some Artisans who are interested in the way human mind works, and therefore are not shallow. -- Ezis (ESFp)
A6 A1, you'd be completely out my selection line up -- Cyclops
A7 A1, your post is straight INTJ and I really appreciate it:) I know you were just sharing your opinions (which everyone has) honestly & directly; and that's sweet & to the point. Thank you very much for posting. A2, thank you for applying such great logic to the different types & their needs. Your post was fun to read. A3, your integrity and insight are refreshing. Thank you for being so open minded. A5, really (INTJ/ESFP's)? Thank you for those personal success stories/statistics. I guess that's really what I'm looking for...what works. You ESFP's & ISFP's have been really helpful. Thank you so much! -- anonymous (questioner)
A8 Really INTJ/ESFP, really... well, I have been quite confused recently distinguishing between MBTI INTJ and INTP and Socionics INTj and INTp. But I am positive that my "statistics" regards introverted NTs of one type, be it INTP or INTJ, the one that is able to get along with ESFPs -- Ezis
A9 Thanks, Ezis...and to correct the A7 post, I meant to thank everyone who posted (which would have been stated better that way). -- anonymous (questioner)
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A10 If somehow and ENFj and an INTj can compromise certain matters in a relationships, i think that an ENFj can share a quite interesting relationship with an INTj, but after all ENFj really want to emotionally get attached with their parnter in which INTj can be a little harder to get attached compare to other NF. -- ENFJ
A11 I believe any combo of NT's work well together. Being a guy and knowing only two INTJ women, one a friend and the other my fiancee I would say they both prefer NT's...the ESFP's can be attractive to them but any deep conversation their eyes gloss over and F's are pretty emotional which can get on the nerves of an female NT -- Anonymous
A12 I'm one of those uncommon INTJ females (and you might want to note here that I speak on MBTI types specifically), and I've recently become quite close to an ISTP woman. I wasn't aware what her type was at first, which may have helped it, but in any case we get along shockingly well. We're both so focused on finding solutions that our way of handling a problem is quite similar - though our approaches, and the problems themselves, vary greatly. We treat the relationship as more of a natural collaboration than anything, and when we misunderstand or frustrate one another, it's only another piece of information to be taken into account. Overall, my weaknesses are her strengths and vice versa; long range planning is not one of her skills, and learning to let go is not one of mine, so we have a lot to learn from each other. I've taken this has a hard slap to my ego: excluding people because of their type - their way of thinking - is absurd. Each person has something to offer me, regardless of my personal opinion of them. -- Vivi
A13 Now that I've reread your question, I realize I should answer the other part of it as well. I've been deeply involved with more than one F in my lifetime, and in my experience it's not the "feeliness" that gets to me. My tertiary Fi appreciates the exercise - I do have it, and it's impossible to ignore. The problems that usually arise are more along the lines of simple incomprehensibility. Fs just don't understand me! I work along such practical lines that they feel insulted when I refuse to consider my emotions on a higher level of importance than my rational judgments. I like to give people a lot of personal space, and I allow them to come to me rather than pressure them, but they seem to take that as a display of lack of interest rather than the display of respect that it is. In this case, it's their perception that is an issue, not my behavior; although that is a typically INTJ thing to say, and you might want to take it with a grain of salt. -- Vivi
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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