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Question #1196374738Thursday, 29-Nov-2007
Category: INTj INTp Relationship Success/Failure
DO INTJs have more trouble in relationships than INTPs? -- Solo
Your Answers: 1+ 13+
A1 i am inclined to say no. recently there was this big debate involving [i believe: istps and intps cause both have the PoLR of ]...i am an INTP..& what i can tell u what came from that debate is that the ISTP problem was localized to 'during the relational term' and the INTP problem to 'initiation of the relational term'. although the 'intp in poverty' looks down on the istp in situ, it was still acknowledged that ISTPs need that communication term to ratify themself, cause for them..in their S vector, there is no other way to resolve the issue. i am not inclined to say that INTPs have problems in relationship (only before)...as dual communication is very NICE, and anyway...larger issues are resolved before the time. U Solo, are lucky that i have an intj sister and older married male cousin.. so i have had time to observe the polarity of a few of your issues in relation to what i have self solved for my personality group. This said,..u can have trouble...and this not as in istp or intp case..'localized to relational period'...trouble in the overal relational attitude/posture...and from this point i appreciate your little smear campaign - calling the INTP name in VAIN! the problem is in establishing a flow pattern for a relationship to work. INTPs have it (that is my anti to your smear campaign!)...it is called choas...and the indeminity of the invisible (however..that works 2 ways, for the experienced..u ignored..they none the worse..but for the intp who suffers for a while...your lie may blind them..so i speak for that group). SO, how do u establish flow...there are 2 answer programs..the 1st is a socionics answer program...and it centres around the communication patterns of ur ideal dual for the 'mating relation'..the ESFJ (ops..i think i got that part wrong for another INTJ post), and it has strategic elements such as the 'unlock paradigm'..u can mine them yourself...i won't do it for u. the Second answer program is not socionics...although it uses some of that language...the unlock phrase on the larger part of that answer program.. which is the only thing i'l give u, as this post is long, is this..."u need an enemy" and if u can find many enemies who assail u from diverse directions and orientations, so much the better. why is this good...u need to use all your faculties...including what makes u distinct from an intp...the masking of emotion..and anything else u can get your hands on...for u intj mask better, and are able to push your INT faculty at discrete and oppurtune times (that phrase is what i have seen of ur J as opposed to my P, which also has warlike adjectives..but the timing is different)... do this often enough and well enough... and women will notice, also u will in the relational period be more comfortable in choosing your 'emotional revealing program' and choose a partner of ur choice...cause like it or not...u the intj will be responsible largely for the relational program in the relationship (and that will be cool, just don't act like a SJ, refine ur programs). i say this, cause my intj cousin had all sorts of women clamouring for him, and eventually he went for the one most comfortable for him..a esfj..an annoying woman, which is why his family still does not understand..but well. oh, a good enemy: get a religion, and then renounce it, silently, and with all your hate/or emotion. it truely is the one great womb for civilization as a whole -- @sirac
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A2 As I grow older I am testing more and more P, now I'm INTX I test 1 percent more J than P. I honestly think the two types are very similar, and there's probably not much difference in their love lives. -- Anonymous
A3 what, do u really think that as an INTP in relation, i have the problems an INTJ does? my factual opinion, is that this guy is weak. but i don't care. for me there is an N and S world...the trouble with most N's is that they have a substitued moral S and interaction world stifling them -- @sirac
A4 I'm not sure, because I don't personally know any research that's been done of it. From what I've read and experienced, INTJ's definitely seem to have a bit of a rough time in relationships. Especially INTJ females, because there are so few. Doing a simple search on the INTJ personality will probably give you a better idea what I'm talking about. I don't want to overgeneralize any type, because even amongst types there are so many different variations. But for the sake of the question, since INTJ's are looking for "definite" answers, it makes it hard to figure out relationships sometimes. It's just an opinion, but hopefully something in there will prove useful. -- Anonymous
A5 (wrote A4) Just to clarify, the main sources of info for statistics/population percentages I've read refer to Myers-Briggs. Females comprise 0.5% of the population. The profile description used to be titled "scientist", and the scientific way an INTJ approaches things can be troublesome in relationships perhaps because of the constant search for the perfect answer. -- Anonymous
A6 I think INTps speak their minds based on what they believe to be the facts - whether the emotions are involved is often irrelevant. INTjs would not be so inclined to be blunt when the situation calls for a softer approach, at least with someone they care about. (INTjs are probably harder on people than INTps in that regard when they don't like the person.) So based on that, INTjs might experience less trouble in relationships in some ways. -- econdude
A7 That's an encouraging thought for INTJ's, thank you, A6. So...perhaps less quantity, but more quality for some INTJ's in relationships since they narrow it down:) I'm sure it differs depending on the person, too. Some INTJ's may have acquired really good people skills to help them in social settings. -- Anonymous
A8 Just relationships in general? It seems like anyone can have problems. Because INTJ's are supposedly rare though, they may have more trouble finding people that relate to them. -- Anonymous
A9 I think INTP females have the same problem. People tell me I am attractive and I take good care of myself. The only guys that seem to be attracted too me are married or too old 20+ yrs older or have no jobs. I love "N" types but can't find any that are single and over 23. I am 42 and have been married to 3 different men 2 SJ's and the last one ESTP alcholic!I did get along with the ESTP the best but he was too controlling. The INTJ women I know are unmarried and unattached as well. The INTJ male I know is 56 single but works at a 7-11. -- Anonymous
A10 It really depends on the person within the relationship. What you find with INTj, due to their tertiary Fi, they can be somewhat rude and inconsiderate towards others - indeed in some instances their ideal world can be one where the general give and take of manners and politeness is removed. Their dual can excell at softening their responses in regards to this weakened introverted feelings. INTp's can be somewhat disorganised in their living space and somewhat rejecting of some sensory pleasures. This is an area where their dual draws them out of their shell and the intp will be forced to have their own weakened Si try keep up ! Well there's some examples and explanations of possible issues etc, hope this helps ! -- Cyclops (istp)
A11 Whether or not you have "trouble" depends on your reaction to whatever treatment is being doled out surely? If someone discriminates because you are not their idea of what a partner should be, it is their problem and only becomes yours if you let it. I am a 38 year old female and have been in my current relationship for over 10 years. I never used to care much about previous guys because I could see that their objections to me were based on their preconceived ideas of what a woman should be like. My partner appreciates the fact that I am soooooo different to any other person (male or female) he has met before because my behaviour is always steeped in integrity. In this one priniciple we are totally agreed. The most important thing a person can be is a good person and nothing else matters in the scheme of things. Be well and happy everyone. -- Anonymous
A12 I've only met two INTjs offline so far, and I can't really speak on behalf of any other INTp other than myself. (Both my J and Fe are pretty developed) Anyway, I really find myself being strengthened through interaction with INTjs. It's a bit strange, and I can't exactly open up to them much beccause of our extreme differences in thinking, but there is some sort of unspoken connection there. I don't clash with the INTj like most people would think. Maybe it's just because I'm so eager to further develop my j. Becoming goal-oriented through tons of interaction with my INTj friend has made me much more confident. I can actually achive things rather then just planning them out. XD They can be really cold, it's true. But you know... so can I. It's really nice to have someone who isn't trying to pry into your emotions and feelings and blah blah. They make good buddies to play strategy games against also, and we don't argue often. When I do come to a conclusion about something (though it isn't often), they usually match up with that of an INTj. Sure, we arrive at them VERY differently, but so what? We're not being forced to work together. In fact, we're not forcing each other to do anything! Low expectations and low demands! Not many other types give me that kind of space! We're both people that make SENSE. SENSE. SENSE. SENSE. That's all we both really want from a partner. Make sense! People don't make sense! INTjs and INTps make sense! How perfect. -- - An INTp
*Please note that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of socionics.com*
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