| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
|  | Male
Straight
16-25
Middle East
Sagittarius
INTj |
|  | Male
Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1194217660 | Sunday, 4-Nov-2007 |
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| For all the ISTP out there, I want to know what makes you guys hate an ENFJ naturaly. -- ENFJ |
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| A76 What I am seeing over & over is ENFj trying to "make things right" by forcing it and ISTp needing some breathing space to process and figure out what exactly is wrong in the first place - as long as they want to and let themselves and remember to do so, that is. I have two cousins, the older brother is ISTp, the younger (I think) ENFj. The only time they seem to get along is when they both stop criticizing each other (it's actually usually coming from ISTp by his own admission in this case, unlike what most ISTps posting would seem to assume), give each other breathing space, keep biting their tongue and avoiding saying those little acidic things or accusatory things at which they're both so adept, and choose humility, even if it means (as in the case of the couple married for 13 years - congrats!)that neither of you is really able to be fully themselves around the other person. For the ENFj to use fewer words and not try to "get a rise" out of the other would likely be very helpful, not try to overdo the "nice things", no panic - give space, let go, with what would seem to you like complete silence for an interminable while, and, yes, probably let them instigate reparation. For the ISTp, be willing to try to let friendships keep going? Don't just write it off? Do answer things directly and plainly? Or ask a disinterested 3rd party for help in understanding & responding (even though asking for assistance might be incredibly difficult?) Or read through a site like this...? to a71: please stop deceiving yourself. Someone getting mad is NOT a sign that they care about you! You're not listening to them! Believe them, please, and realize that refusing to listen to them is NOT a sign of your care for them - the real them underneath - but rather a desperation for their presence, which fulfills yourself. And in general, denying you've sent anonymous notes but still wanting them to know it was you IS weird. And do listen to a75... Something we all must learn is to let people go. No relationship will be right & healthy until we have learned this skill. And, as an INFj myself, not looking forward to posting on this site - would it be too much to ask if we could give the little line drawings who revue our posts at least a little fig leaf - or something? Please? -- Anonymous |
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