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Question #1194217660Sunday, 4-Nov-2007
Category: ENFj ISTp Intertype Relations
For all the ISTP out there, I want to know what makes you guys hate an ENFJ naturaly. -- ENFJ
Your Answers: 1+ 21+ 36+ 52+ 55+ 72+ 76+
A1 interesting question. are you fat? -The ISTP -- Anonymous
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A2 oh man, honestly i am very good looking, well maybe not to the eye of an istp, but we should, leave. the. physically. attraction aside... -- ENFJ
A3 Interesting that you latch onto the word "hate", since this immediately makes me think about how I don't hate anyone. Perhaps your outwardly directed energy tends to make us feel like we need to withdraw, which you read as rejection. One of the aspects to type identification that has kept it popular through the years is that when you become aware of another person's type, you can use the information to tailor your interactions with them. Of course this doesn't mean you should contrive to get into their better graces; merely that when you understand that an introvert needs more personal space than an extrovert (to use an easy but limited example), you can respect that need and put them at ease - likewise, an introvert who understands that you are an extrovert can make an effort to better express their inner emotions because they realize that you need more interaction to feel comfortable in communicating. "We" are also intensely analytical, whereas your type tends to act more on gut feelings. If you keep in mind that our reactions tend to be delayed and/or go unexpressed, you can check your own tendency to jump to conclusions about a particular interaction. Don't assume we hate you - if you don't get the reaction you desired, respectfully request that the other party get back to you after he/she's had more time to process. BTW, I think A1 was being sarcastic. Perhaps he/she meant to probe for more details as to why you busted out with the strong word "hate" followed by the assumption "naturally". Does your question stem from things you've read on this site, or more from your specific experiences? -- iAnnAu
A4 this site is breeding better posters like iAnnAu. in addition, on the same trend.. 'expressed environmental J communication....with N reach [intuitive reach]' would for a 'detail orientated S' with 'P defined fixed thinking vectors' tend to put u guys within nervous reach of each other especially when the Ti silently detects the Fe. (honestly i don't know what i just talked about, cause i don't know any S-P and N-J's...just used the formulae). Keeping A3's perspective,..regulate if u need to. Perhaps u need to find out about ENFJ PoLRs if u want to regulate the communication element with a mind toward how u tend to interprete world situations -- @sirac
A5 I don't really have any experience with enfj, so I can't help you in a practical sense, but to sort of tie in with what a3 asked you but sort of not. Can I ask if you have had experiences with istp, and if how did that go with you? At least this way I can maybe put a perspective on how an istp would view the situation from their and we can compare with your perspective, and that way if you've had bad experiences, at least you and I and any other posters out can attempt to draw some sort conclusions to make your future experiences smoother etc? -- Cyclops (istp)
A6 well put A3 i used the word "hate" without much thoughts, however it does not mean that all istp hate enfj as well as all the other opposite types and vice versa, that is why i put the word "naturally" becuase we all just dont have the tendency to like a certain type without any Hate that goes toward it just how they act, handle, react, etc... in life. One example you put it was that since our emotion tends to be a little dramatic, it can put an istp to a reserved mode? ok thats is pretty interesting. A3, I asumme that you are an ISTP... do u have any interaction you have with a ENFJ you would like to share? thank you -- enfj
A7 because they tell me what to do and criticize me? -- istp
A8 lol a5, i have a istp friend once... i thought everything was fine until i said something(don't really remember and he attacked me) -- enfj
A9 I don't know what was said (and neither do you?) but when you say 'attack' do you mean in the physical sense. ISTp's can be somewhat sensitive to rudeness and tactlesness but depending on what you said so can anyone. Sounds like he/she flew off the handle a bit in the heat of the moment-as can be with the warrior within them. But what you said could be kinda important tho dude! -- Cyclops
A10 I worked with an ENFP (MBTI score) - she was a graphic designer & I was the project manager for manuals & packaging. The main thing I remember was that she was especially sensitive to criticism. It helped once I got out of my shell and showed her I had a private life & interests outside of work - I tend to stare down gossip-mongers & am very business-like at work: I save my fun for off the clock, but I'm learning that my co-workers need at least some depth (& warmth) conveyed even if it has nothing directly to do with how our jobs intersect. I had to lead into on-task discussions by letting her talk about how she was feeling in general ... then, once I carefully pointed out changes that needed to be made, I would prompt her in case she wanted to defend her choices. Often, once she got the chance to explain why she did what she did, she was willing to accommodate others' input - sometimes she would even get excited by seeing new possibilites stemming from the changes, so in that way she could make it "hers". As I was also the Technical Editor, I had to walk a thin line on certain changes, but we both definitely benefited from understanding that our internal processing worked completely different. This was also a bit of an extreme example because she was a strong F working in a creative position, with me a strong T working in a technical capacity, and both of us having to interact constantly on multiple projects at a time. I'm not certain how your j changes from her P, however. -- iAnnAu
A11 yes a9, he physcically attacked me, i felt that we didn't like me much anyway, i think my emotion trigger an overwhelming response twoard him inside and instead of showing his anger with words he showed it with his fist. and btw a7 when we tell some one what to do you can just tell them striaght up no, we will never be like entj and order people around like we are their father. -- ENFJ
A12 Both ENFj and ISTp can be ruthless at times. ENFj can belittle those that are not productive or focused, or do not subjugate themselves to those who have direction. ISTp can be rather unfocused and uncaring and certainly will rebel against anyone who attempts to control them in any way. Unfortunately, the verbal skills of an ISTp are nowhere near those of the ENFj, so the ISTp is defenceless against the ENFj unless they use their superior physical abilities. Verbal abuse can beget physical abuse. -- I/O
A13 I/o i do agree what you have said but do u also think there is also a part where enfj always want to get to know someone personally and when that someone is a istp(where it is notoriously known that they like to keep their personal space) that it can be a problem? -- ENFJ
A14 Do you really want to get to know that person or is that person simply a challenge for you - a control freak trying to tame a wild animal so to speak? I would advise to not step into the lion's den because you likely do not have the skills for this type of situation such as rolling with the punches. -- I/O
A15 A question to ENFJ. What qualities of an istp do you usually dislike and are your expectations regarding relationship with them? -- istp
A16 a14, i am sure you know much more about meyer briggs than i do, i just simply wanted to understand it a little better since when does enfj want to control their enviorment? mind controling an indivudual -- enfj
A17 A16. Lots of "J" types come across to "P" types as controlling. I'm a strong "P" (ENFP) and I find almost all "J" types frustrating because they want to plan everything which leaves no space for spontaneity - the spice of life! I have some good ISTp friends and they react just as strongly as I do about feeling controlled in anyway - even if well intentioned. My 'rule of thumb' is just to appreciate people for they are and if you want to try and change something, focus on yourself first. And if someone is legitimately crossing your boundaries, let them know what they are make a request for them to change their behaviour towards you. Other than, don't pry, don't manipulate, don't intervene...just go with the flow and be happy! -- Anonymous
A18 I'm an INTp and I hate ENFj naturally. They toy with your emotions, hurt you, and then hurt them self. Then they do it all over again. -- Lord Java the 3rd
A19 A17 - even a 'j' can see another one as controlling. ENFjs would tend to spend a lot of their time thinking about the big picture and the future - ISTps may not even want to think ahead to what they're having for lunch in an hour. Neither is bad, but the examples show how conflicting relations can doom a pair from the start. -- econdude
A20 ENFJ - a quick look at your personality type speaks to exactly why we ISTP's tend to not to stand you. The strongest aspect of your personality is your ability to experience strong feelings and emotions. ISTP's don't view the word in terms of emotions but in terms of absolutes, of unwavering truths and what is real and provable. Continuous emotional outbursts, in one form or another, are quite often, a waste of time and energy. What is accomplished by such emotional outpourings? The situation remains exactly the same and you are still left to deal with the original issue(s) only now, you have wasted time and energy on a process that does not progress the situation. BTW, A1 - that was freakin hilarious! - Harcore ISTP -- Anonymous
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