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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1192886791 | Saturday, 20-Oct-2007 |
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| How do INTps experience grief? The kind that comes after the death of someone close, like a parent, spouse, child, or best friend? -- MD |
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| A20 Every INTP I have every known has had some misery, I expect probably similiar to most N people experience misery and grief alot more than S types, due to the inner turmoil usually experienced by 1) being someone different from other people, 2) having a doubting nature 3) a tendency to be more curious and searching about the world, 4) being emotionally, artistically, or scientifically inclined, while not being very content with the world how it is. Basically the more you know, the sadder you probably become in life, the saddest part is when your "ADDICTED" to "KNOWING MORE" then once you do start to "KNOW MORE" and you find out the "KNOWING MORE" phenomenon, then you are stuck with a double sided coin as always. For instance, if I look at the news today, and I want to go across town to something, I might find out about an opportunity for a concert, something positive, but if someone is warning not to go, because there was a fire at the last one there, then I could learn from reading that it wouldn't be a good idea. I also learned that a person arsonized the fire, which makes me sad that this type of stuff is going on. -- Vanice the ENFP |
| A21 Ah, war. The joy of battle is intense. -- MD |
| A22 Ha ha! And have you worked out your type yet md? Who's side are you on? And will the sensors flood this site with their armies of like minded friends, and bury you ready in the genocide?! -- The Warlord |
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| A23 read Faucault ('cambridge'[wrong sp.] reviews), understand Nietsche. sorry, every man likes to say something bling about what he regards at that time as his fore-most jewels. gotta run soon. this said: south africa, almost got my M at a sciences field area (must complete now). s.africa basically means that i, and fellow NTPs on this side, come from fairly isolated environments, not the fairly populaced NTP or NT European areas. So we burst at the seams more, waiting, but enjoying the fact that we can still learn european NT etique. all for now, chow. -- @sirac |
A24 A22: Who's side am I on? That's easy. Mine.  As to whether or not I've 'figured out" my type, I'll say nope. i will simply assume I am INTp until reason dictates otherwise. If there is a Type War brewing, as the other person wondered, then it is stupid, you are all fools, and I will laugh at the idiocy of it all till the last... Enjoy yoursself, Mr. Warlord. And thank you for the questions. I have noow regained my center. -- MD |
| A25 what are your political leanings (in brief) sirac? if you don't mind -- Anonymous |
| A26 Ha ha there is no type war brewing..its kind of like the x men to joke about it. Whats your leaning mr or mrs anon? And do you ask out of genuine interest or just to randomly move into attack mode -- Type as yet.. |
| A27 Back to the original question, I test strongly INTp but self-identify as ISTp ... 4 separate experiences of losing a close loved one have taught me that I immediately slip into a competence pattern, where I look to DO anything that needs to be done, but am closed off to my emotional state - I can't cry & have a hard time showing sympathy to others grieving. After the inevitable social gatherings (wake, funeral, luncheons, etc), I slip into an analysis of my relationship with the deceased including a kind of identification with her (all 4 have been female). However, my emotions remain locked up except during unpredictable "episodes" where they briefly surge. I have given a lot of effort to dealing with my emotions in a more timely & consciously-directed manner, but I can't say I've met with much success yet. Family & friends have expressed gratitude that I'm able to take charge of the situation while they're immobilized by grief ... but I find I almost envy them their ability to grieve at the time of the event, rather than in bits & pieces even years later. -- iAnnAu |
| A28 @A25: it is hard to say. They are anti-popularist. that is if opinion is this..then i am that. But it is actually a much finer bias, for reading into history, one realizes that there is an event behind the event, and the current expressed media element is only a small part. In general, like any guy, i would not care for politics.. but being INTP, and even in normal communications, finding it necassary to express the obscure and not 'generally seen' opinion.. has a. caused trouble ..b. lead me to know that that is the general interaction of things...which is b.1. why i express 'political opinion' as a aspect in Posting here. But let me humour you: my political opinion is Internationalist. That is i see what causes the present flow of World Political Actions (did u expect me to say that i am communist, jihadist or right wing?), reason this out or N-grasp it...and express anti-sentiments to 'backward dealing'. I did recently express, but this was for the Iran nuclear crisis, that 'i would go to war with Russia and Iran against America'. Expressing this sentiment, i also counter expressed my general feeling toward the Iraq issue, as positive toward Bush and America, and expressed my current sentiment as a 'hate' toward popularist media sentiment (which in any case condemned Bush earlier, something i said i never did, indeed i never did). But then again, i would'ent expect any of the normal posters to have picked up on that one post.. u probably mean i more 'micro-political' scale, or would like to see if that is Affective on my Current Expression sets. as i said in the beginning, this would be hard. -- @sirac |
| A29 a27: extremely similar to myself. i was told I made people "calm" in my presence. -- MD |
| A30 Re my post meant to confirm i am istp, can't remember if i did that sorree! -- Cyclops |
| A31 This isn't really relative to the current place of where this thread is, but I feel out of a sense of an internal value system to post this. Basically I am a7 a9 and a10 poster. In retrospect I was maybe a bit too direct in my approach (but anyway believe me i've got a lot to learn i am a million miles away from being perfect), but it was infact my intention was to help you. I think that maybe I could have done it better but maybe my directness was useful forin this context. As you have said that you can see my relevance and have encompassed certain things in your view(s) Now why would I reveal this? Ok i'm not too keen on the spate of random postings, but i myself posted as anon (hence contradiction i've just created). Why did I post as anon? Because partly I haven't worked out what to call myself (been looking for a cool name haha) but also I didn't want what I said to maybe be at first viewed as type bias coz it's not were all still folk etc. For the record I also posted the recent question of is it possible to be an n but think one is an s because of their work environment etc. I am also sp who put forward the altruism discussions in the are entp.s narcisistic question. I have found a type bias towards i s f t p etc and often that makes me feel i have to justify my type rather than my point..partly real and maybe partly imagined on my part I suspect-no doubt my error something else i will have to address. Besides I leave myself opened up here for ridicule or other things here or not..as i don't think of myself as a coward etc. If I may say tho i have been enjoying the recent postings on this site esp sirac and md who always (usually hehehe) have good insight. Anyway i'm gonna stick with this as my name for clarity on this site and others etc I've used it once before and i like x men and greek mythology so its all good. Hope this hasn't been too much inane ramblings or maybe i'm being stupid over nothing and who really cares! Anyway there you go! -- Cyclops |
| A32 i like these streets, posters who post, and on these streets we post long and walk past each other...this is congruent! -- @sirac |
| A33 In response to the original question: How I deal with grief depends partly on how everyone else is dealing with it. When I received the news that someone I considered to be my mentor of sorts had died, I felt a little sad that I'd never see that person again, but I wasn't torn up about it. However, when I was placed in a room full of sobbing people, I started to tear up. I hated crying in front of everyone over something that hadn't even bothered me, but I couldn't help it. Also, my initial reaction to suffering could be described as indifferent. I can't fully form an opinion or feeling about the situation until I have thought about it extensively, and any negative feelings (if any) would come a while after incident. -- CA (INTP) |
| A34 It's very difficult for me to "miss" anyone. If someone dissapears... then they're gone. They don't exist anymore. -- Anonymous |
| A35 @A34: I wish I had your problem. It's very difficult for me to NOT miss someone. =( -- ISFp |
| A36 Whenever I lose someone I have a hard time wrapping my head around it. I am crushed by the fact that I could live another 60 years and still never see them again. I don't know what to make of such a thing. -- ms intp |
| A37 There is this great C.S.Lewis book called The Grief Observed. His private diary after his wife had died, originally not meant for publication. Even though I am not sure if he was an INTp, he probably was an NT, so you might be interested in reading it. -- ESFp |
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