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| Question #1192709042 | Thursday, 18-Oct-2007 |
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| Am I a weird introvert or a shy extrovert? From what I hear we're actually born with our preferences and when it comes to me this confuses me. As a child up to about age 8 almost everybody that knew me would have classified me as an extrovert. I was loud and obnoxious (of course not to say that all extroverts are!) and loved hanging out with other children and I was ALWAYS getting in trouble for talking in class. Of course some of the time I did play alone when it was the only option and didn't mind it so much. Then after age 8 I turned into a hard core introvert, constantly avoiding social situations and spending most of my time alone. Now what happens is I feel drained when I spend too much time alone and I also feel drained when I spend too much time with people. Is this odd? -- Natalie |
Your Answers: 1+ |
| A1 I am having the same sort of problem. I've always been confused as to whether I am I or E, so I gave up and decided that it is situation dependent and I simply choose at the moment - depending on various factors such as comfort zone, what mood I am in. I recently discovered that trust is a big factor for me. I am XNTJ and realized that my dominant function changes based on whether or not I trust. Lack of trust leads to me relying on my introvert intuition (acting as an INTJ and not sharing with others) or when I trust someone I tend to lean more on extraverted thinking as my dominant (acting more ENTJ and talking more). Finding a balance of social time and alone time has been difficult. I usually find myself getting pushed over either edge and then retreating to be alone or going out and meeting friends. Recently I have tried to plan better - by varying my schedule between remembering that I need alone time and also being around groups of people. Try thinking about what your triggers might be or if there are any underlying factors. -- XNTJ |
| A2 It is interesting that you should mention this, it was exactly the same with me! I have considered myself an ESFp for three years now. I would vote for the shy extrovert in your case, with Fi as the second function probably, because this function needs society of a very specific type of people and athmosphere, and when it does not get it, it makes the person feel tired. My understanding of this is that we behave spontaneously according our first function at our earliest age, so our behaviour at this period of time is one of the most reliable signs of our type. However, something like what you describe can happen to extroverts with Se or Ne dominant function at quite an early age (with me, it was at about the age of 5). Se and Ne need a lot of free space for the enthusiasm and activities they produce fuel for. They usually get the free space while the person is in his/her natural surrounding (family, friends), but when it has to cope with routine, the person turns to his/her secondary function, Fi or Ti. S/He develops it quite well and starts feeling confident in it. Sometimes after this process it is even difficult to realize that you are actually an extrovert. Nota bene, your first function is such a "matter of course" for you that you dont realize it and see your creative second function more. Seems to me something like this has happened to my father, too. But anyway, this is just my theory, I havent read it anywhere, so I am not 100% sure it is true. -- Ezis |
| A3 Extroverted perceivers, especially ESFp and ESTp commonly find it hard to switch off from external stimuli. They live primarily "in the moment" and because they have weak intuition do not anticipate their eventual exhaustion. They often have to withdraw (from people and situations) to rest and re-generate. This does not mean they are introverts, far from it. -- karen |
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| A4 I am an Entp (pretty sure) and that describes me almost perfectly... I am confused why I feel drained when Im with people and when Im alone. -- Anonymous |
A5 a workaround would be to read the closest profiles and consider the main interests. sometimes the descriptions helped me to identify the type of some people that were hard to detect elsehow. ah, and the tests!  look for every test on the web and be objective while completing them. i agree with Ezis (A2), there is a great chance you are a shy extravert. -- Mihai - ENTP |
| A6 Oh my goodness it's a bit creepy that your guys' theories had to do with sensing feeling perceivers because THAT'S WHAT I AM! And it's funny that Ezis should mention coping with routine because at the age of 8 I was in a new evironment where I indeed had to adjust to a great deal more routine. And in response to Karen: Don't introverts do that? Retreat from people and situations to recharge? And don't extroverts hang out with people to recharge? Well perhaps what happened was that I actually changed personalities. ESFP describes myself up until age 8 but now ISFP most definitely describes me. -- Natalie |
| A7 Ok, Maybe that you exahusted has nothing to do with you personality and more with you health. Rule this out first. I am an INTP, and as a child I was very friendly and out going(but never a big talker, not to say there aren't introverts that like to talk, there are) then I started 1st grad, 3 year later we moved, 2 years later we moved again etc. As I gew older I was still interacting with other kids, but a little more reserved, as I understood that I am different from most other kids, and that they did not always understand me. (many intuatives are missunderstood). In my teen years my health took a turn for the worse, I was just tired all the time. Today I am much better, and I find that I can be recharged when I interact with people, but it doesn't have to do with people, rather it has to do with the topic or task that is at hand. Other than that, if I spend to much time with people, I become completly drained and stressed, and go into hidding for a while to recharge. -- Anonymous |
| A8 @A7: Yes I took that into consideration. It wasn't clear at all but I was speaking of strictly recharging emotional batteries, not physical batteries. When I get enough sleep and eat right I feel wonderful physically. When I get enough time with people and alone I feel good emotionally (well of course unless I'm having a bad day or something like that). Well whatever I was or whatever happened I'm most definitely an introvert now. SOME IMPORTANT POINTS THIS DISCUSSION BROUGHT UP: 1. Shyness: Shyness and introversion do not go hand in hand. This is a misconception. There are shy extroverts and introverts that are not shy. (Although I think maybe us introverts are more PRONE to experiencing shyness more often.) 2. Extroverted Sensing Percievers: Because extroverted sensing percievers are so externally focused and hate routine it's a possibility that they use their auxilary introverted function and develop it so well that it comes accross as their dominant function and they begin to appear more introverted. 3. Recharging: What is recharging? What is the context? I'm pretty sure that in most of these Myers-Briggs or Jung stuff or whatever when it comes to recharging batteries they are talking about emotions. And it is a separate thing to recharge your body physically than to recharge ourselves emotionally. We all tend to recharge our bodies in the same way, with sleep and food and exercize and so on while it seems that we have distinct different prefernces when it comes to recharging our emotional batteries. Some of us get emotionally drained while with peopole others (most) while we are alone. Sidenote: Thank you everybody for trying to answer my question for me and bringing up such wonderful points for discussion. I appreciate it. =) -- Natalie |
| A9 I like spending time with people coz then I can go chew on the new experiences once alone, taking into account everything that happened and any new outlooks it gives me and then using the time to box it away in my mind. After a few days of this - me time i'm ready for my next incursion into experiences with people again. This is my introversion. -- ISTperson |
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