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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1190451255 | Saturday, 22-Sep-2007 |
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| I am an INTP (I'm approximately 78% certain) and a male (100% certain, as I have proof :;grins::) I'm really wanting to go and check out some ESFp girls, see what it might be like around my theoretical Dual. So technically I'll be asking a few questions in one. First, have any INTps here actually been in a long-term relationship with an ESFp, and what was it like / what were the stages in the process? Secondly, how can you pick them apart from ENFps and ESFjs, with a focus on meeting them online? Are there any reliable signs, such as choice of favorite quotes in signatures, style of writing, etc.? I'm extremely cocky and sarcastic, some I believe to be ExFxs will frown on it, others will bite back. If that's too much, just please just stick to the basic premise. -- MD |
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| A1 Why exactly 78%? If those 22% mean a suspicion that you might be an INTj, for example... maybe 78% of your time you should check on ESFp girls and 22% of your time you should check on ESFjs, just for sure. -- Ezis |
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| A2 My dad's wife is a definite ISFj. The thought of an extraverted version of her is terrifying. Talk about an emotional bed of spikes. Come to think of it, her mom is ESFj... Not that bad, on visits. But I can't talk to her. Fjs seem so easy to hurt or crush with my logic and general hard outlook on life. -- MD |
A3 ...while ESFps find it both challenging and funny. Yeah, I understand about those SFjs. Actually, my first answer was meant as a joke, presenting something of ESFp style you are asking about, but I guess I should have added  to make it clear. You cant make it without emoticons nowadays -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A4 I absolutely *love* ESFps! My little sister is one. The one thing I would watch out for is the N/S differences. If you are sarcastic, she probably won't get it unless you make it obvious. Even incredibly smart xSFps can be perceived as stupid bc the way they take in information is based on concrete facts: they take it at face value. But really, they are easy-going, nice, funny, entertaining, and detest conflict. I have never met one I didn't like or could not *easily* get along with. -- Anonymous |
| A5 A4: I agree with you, just would like to add that there can be exceptions to the situation of an INTp being sarcastic and an ESFp seeing only the informative part of it. The roles can be reversed sometimes - look at A1 through A3 -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A6 NTs are more likely than other types to rate the degree of validity in what they say, but they don't throw out random numbers arbitrarily (where's this 78% coming from?). -- As for logic, the fact that almost no-one actually understands how it works, enables everyone to "be" (i.e. seem) a "master" of it ... granting of course he's incapable of noticing his errors. The statement "I'm very logical" is devoid of meaning (even a perfectly valid argument must be based on factual reality). Many xxfjs seem logical on the outside (because of the "slow methodical behavior") but don't know much about actual logic (i.e. truth and falsehood) in the theoretical sense. I type myself as an ENTp; the thing I hate most is to hear some ridiculous sentimental appeal from an IxFj (worse still, IN MY DEFENSE!). -- Anonymous |
| A7 im an esfp and my best friend for the past eight years is an intp ^^ we only stumbled across the myer-briggs indicator like last week and found out that we are total oppostes in star signs aswell ,shes a saggitarius and im a gemini .so yeah we are pretty compatible! =] we are total opposites its hilarious XD she loves the x-files...*shudders* GAWD!! i absolutely HATE anything to do with sci-fi so ask if they like sci-fi! and i understand most types of humor and i can talk to anyone really. i talk alot =]a phrase i use alot would be "screw you"......if that helps XD [[ hayley]] -- Anonymous |
| A8 Any type can like/dislike sci-fi but the rationale given for why or why not would likely vary. I'd say the type least likely to like sci-fi just for its own sake would be the ISTj with ENxps liking sci-fi/fantasy the most. On that note, I must also correct my post in A6: "even a perfectly valid argument must be based on 'factual' reality" ... there CAN be "false facts," i.e. since facts are always context dependent. Taking the universe of Superman as its own enclosure, I would have to first conceive of a kind of "false physics" that would permit Superman to arbitrarily defy gravity. -- Anonymous |
| A9 A3: I had a feeling you were kidding, I just had no clue how to respond. Now I'm wondering why you can't get on without emotions... I'm beginning to suspect I don't have any, and I am still alive. A6: Yes, 78% was an approximation of validity based on how certain I was of my type. Kind of an intuitive "certainty meter", so to speak. Certainly not arbitrary. It's the ExFjs that bug me. Their niceness just makes me uneasy. I also have to mention I found your analysis of my use of the word "logic" to be slightly beside the point. -- MD |
A10 A9: Sorry I didnt make myself more clear. I see that joking in a foreign language and in written form can be quite difficult and misleading. As regards the emotions: actually, I was joking about general frequent use of emotICONs nowadays - by emoticons, I had these  :-/ faces in mind - but probably this is just a word in my language, not in English. I will try to answer your original question step by step, from the ESFp point of view: I recognize INTps easily because they are the people I consider so pleasantly normal, so to say. I click with them if not instantly, then after about one month. So maybe it will be the same with you. Basically the problems I have with them are some differences between T and F: uncertainty of how often should we meet (twice in a month in my opinion, once in two months in theirs) and my sensitivity to critique, this is a sphere they can teach me something I probably teach them something, too; but what, I dont know. Maybe optimism. - I guess from A2 you are able to recognize ESFjs, and as for ENFps, there is a good article on Ne/Se differences in the section Articles. ENFps are faster in everything they do than us, they dont bother about details very much. We, on the other hand, are more abrupt. To learn something about ESFp girls I think the best way is simply to visit some MBTI and Socionics websites and read the attributions explicitly signed ESFp first. - Well, I hope this will be of some help to you. And wish you a nice journey in the ESFp world! -- Ezis (ESFp) |
| A11 A10: Normal? I'm finding that SLIGHTLY ironic. -- MD |
| A12 From knowing an intp and also an esfp, i think they would do well together because the intp will encourage the esfp to think more, and esfp would held my intp friend to stop endlessly speculating and enjoy life. Unfortunately my intp friend just doesn't like her. They are from different social circles though so haven't managed to get them together yet -- Istp |
| A13 A11 Two years ago, I would answer - good hit! And not only SLIGHTLY, more like EXTREMELY But actually, no, now I was being honest. I mean they seem normal at least from my point of view. Cause they are from the same quadra. I think our society is much that of ISTps, ISFps and ENFps; and because INTps are one of the less frequent types, they keep getting signals they are somehow weird. Maybe they like to think about themselves as not being normal, too. Until recently,I had the same opinion upon every encountering a new INTp, I thought: What on the earth is THIS? But then slowly a curtain started to open and I started to understand the way of thinking. My opinion turned 180 degrees and I started to meet the INTp whenever I wanted to talk to someone worth consulting. With INTps, its also easiest for me to remember what they said. Now I have several colleagues whom I like all, but its the INTp one I am glad to see when I am tired of deciphering the others - ISTps and INFj. Last but not least, I know two INTp scholars and they seem to me exactly the way a good scholar should be, clear, concise and logical. Problem is INTps dont care a bit if I think they are normal or weird. So I better keep this "discovery that they are normal" to myself. This is, actually, the first time I pronounced it. -- Ezis |
| A14 I seem to have that effect on people. I find it rather odd that so many people seem to like me even though I barely do more than smile and give simple answers to all but my closest friends. ExFx's really do unsettle me at first. Too polite. I don't know how to respond to polite, feely people. So I just let them d their thing and go along. Now, it would be interesting to talk to you at some length, Ezis, given there was a more... convenient place to do so. -- MD |
| A15 thanx Ezis, and A14, now i too know why some of my freinds prize our freindships more than what i can imbue as logical. Probably cause i observe the world to much with it's trends of association. I was just about to dissolve parliament, and force u guys to come to another or more 'in-line' articulate solution. i must say, that in fitting with this trend, the only hetero partners i would tolerate are ESFps, not the esfJs or eNfps, cause, on the P vs J, i am too arrogant, and with the N vs N. well. i can't answer the guy for an online solution, but the whole thing of attraction developing in 15-seconds or less, well, the N vs S thing, is the only thing which can play out THAT FAST. -- @sirac |
| A16 as a former intj now esfp, i have to chime in with my 2c that people do change, and they can change drastically. i've lived in 4 cities around the world before i hit 30, had several career changes, done lots of soul searching, and become pretty different from what i used to be like. so don't rely on the mbti too much - trust your gut! -- Anonymous |
| A17 A14: I think that one of the reasons is that you are probably honest and not overwhelming (judging according to other INTps I know), and thats what people like. "It would be interesting to talk to you" - well, why not, but I dont imagine how this could be possible, can you? -- Ezis |
| A18 After reading A14, and checking up the other messages, I think MD could be ENTp or ENTj. He just shows too much iniative to be an INTp. As for normality: I'm normal, it's the other people who are weird Rationally thinking, peoples choices don't make much sense. -- INTp |
| A19 A17: I can. It is simply that in order for such to be made possible, one of us would have to disclose contact information on here. I do have an account on the forums I've only used once. A18: I would be interested to know the basis of your reasoning. I have noticed that on the Internet it is difficult to gauge the E/I scale for some reason I need to think on. And isnt INTp's second strong function Extraverted Thinking? In rL, I keep myself shut up in my room most days and talk very little, save to close friends, and initiative for me is something I must first consider consciously; usually I will stake out a forum or website first before joining, and even then i may say little or never return. P.S., I am not normal. Normal people are weird. -- MD |
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