| Socionics Personals |  | Female
Straight
16-25
Oceania
Libra
ENFj |
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Straight
16-25
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INTj |
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Straight
26-35
North America
Pisces
INXj |
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| Questions & Answers |
| Question #1188045434 | Saturday, 25-Aug-2007 |
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| Why do I find ESFJs so damn annoying? -- An Anonymous ENFP |
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| A54 Ah, sadly I must agree with this. "Phony, materialistic, snobby drama queen" describes every ESFJ guy that has shown interest in me. It is always a disaster and they always end up throwing a whiny temper tantrum when they can't manipulate me. One ESFJ yelled at me because my outfit did not meet his standards for the restaurant he was taking me too. Another yelled at me because I was not interested in dating him for our pervasive differences in belief systems, etc. They were also all spoiled and babied by their mothers, who they treated like crap. Blah. Good riddance. -- ENFP lady |
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| A55 Hmmm.... Interesting question. I will first preface my comment by making it known that I am a dreaded ESFJ. ironically, I am happily married to an ISTP... Yes, an ISTP lol. He and I know we have traits that annoy one another, but we also admire traits in one another that compliment no contrast with our strengths and weaknesses. For instance, he is often amazed at my ability to notice every detail, ie: see the whole picture, in a situation while I greatly admire his ability to zone in and solve a variety of issues objectively and efficiently. We often provide one another with a different spin on things. That being said, clearly there are moments in which I misinterpret him as being aloof and find him terribly absentminded sometimes....conversely, my need to share EVERY detail of a story and "feeling/talking through an issue" that cannot be changed - ie: "fixed" - drives HIM nuts lol. He says we are the exact couple discussed in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" that he read about in high school - and recalls wondering how ANYone could think the way I do (given his logic based thought patterns). 8 years later, he and I have a great relationship because he is a great listener by definition and let's me talk. He and I make an effort to support our personality needs (his need to be alone - primarily playing World of Warcraft or Diablo III nightly for a couple hours after work lol, and my need to be "affirmed" with 'I love yous' and that I'm appreciated). There is some compromise, but even friendships require that - let alone marriage. I suggest that in situations in which you are peers with an ESFJ, you assert yourself and ask questions and make your intentions known. This will go a looooooong way towards making each other happy. Now, in moments you have to deal with the anal retentiveness of an ESFJ boss or teacher, may I suggest a logical, yet perhaps, underhanded approach: know their rules, and adhere to them - no matter how illogical or 'dumb' they are to you. I'm not talking about adhering to rules that actually harm you and are abusive even, but given the example of the teacher who gave a zero to a bibliography over stapling it to the wrong paper, I think you should learn how to ''play the game'' (if you will) and simply follow the rules. No, it's not fair; yes, it's annoyingly illogical, but sometimes the end justifies the means. Make sense? -- Sounjirah |
| A56 I'm sorry, but how do you guys know for sure the people you're lambasting are actually the type you say they are? It seems to me that unless you carry an MBTI test around with you, the only way you're going to know "for sure" is through your faculty of judgement and/or personal prejudice. I only know one ESFJ and I can't even be sure of that, because he did not take the test professionally, through a counselor or therapist, but online. Since I have taken the test four times through therapists, and each time except one come up ENTP (the one time it gave me a different response was a "quicky" online test),I am highly doubtful you know for sure the type you're dealing with. Not to mention the fact that you sound like you're discussing sun signs. Also, keep in mind that we all have various aspects of our personalities that are extremely annoying to others. I know that I, as an ENTP, with my 'E' on the borderline between E and I, and an off-the-chart NT, could easily spend the rest of the day debating this issue with y'all, and easily become obsessed while I did so. Charming behavior on my part? Uh, no. At least the ESFJ guy was busy doing things for others while I filled in this blank space, disagreeing with you. -- ENTP |
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